Haruka Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 So I have been with my boyfriend well lets say partner being on and off for Four almost five years. Been dating for two and a half years going strong. I offically live with my parents although I spend most weekdays at his house and come home on weekends. (His parents come over for the weekend, he rents his parents other property and I like to give them family space.) Last night he stayed at my parents place because we had an event to turn up at and the event is just a block away from my parents place so a good place to crash the night. This afternoon when we were sitting alone together at lunch he complimented me on my cooking and I was flattered as we just normally have a sandwhich or he mainly cooks. I replied cheekily "Perhaps I should do this for you everyday shall I?" He went quiet and then answered "I have given this thought and wondered if I should ask my parents if we could start moving some of your stuff into the granny flat." I was taken aback and thought he was joking, so I changed the subject to saying "Then I will be able to cook and clean for you night and day haha." He just kept his composure and he didn't mention it again. This has taken me off guard, because he didn't ask if I wanted to move in with him. Although I should have seen the signs, a few weeks ago he told me he looked into getting wi-fi or something like that for the house. He kept a few of my belongs such as my watercolours and drawing pad, cd-walkman and a jumper. Normally he returns them to me if he hadn't seen me in a week, this time he has kept them for me. When we go shopping, he gives me a list and lately he has been saying "We" instead of I or you etc. Like the other day he said "Oh we need more toilet paper, and we need another puzzle book for the toilet." Also a few weeks ago while traveling to the city he was talking about a community event and he said "When we go to the event, take my car." I was confused as he never took me to this event before and always went with his parents. I normally went away when it was on. I actually asked "We as in your parents and you are going, or We as in you and I?" He said "You and I are going." I was thrilled. It just seems that now he wants to take the next step in our relationship and we announced on face book that we are "pre-engaged". As a joke because we never really discussed marriage between us but since we were together for over four years, thought it high time to mention something. Anyways my question is. Why did he bring it up out of the blue about me moving my items into the granny flat? He has done something like this big before when he mentioned he had a girlfriend to a phone operator and I didn't know at the time we were dating and that was how I found out we were an item. Should I mention or ask if he was serious on the moving my stuff into the granny flat?
Ronni_W Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 He went quiet and then answered "I have given this thought and wondered if I should ask my parents if we could start moving some of your stuff into the granny flat." This has taken me off guard, because he didn't ask if I wanted to move in with him. My best guess is that, in his mind, he DID ask you how you felt about moving in with him. (Not that he did it in a clear, direct way, though...his communication style may or may not be a current concern, or become a future issue.) And, for him, it wasn't "out of the blue" -- in fact, he told you that he had given it some thought. You could re-open the conversation by saying, "I've given some thought to what you said about us moving in together, and I think it's something I am ready for, too" (or, "am NOT ready for," depending on your own desires.) And then you guys can start discussing expectations, future plans, etc., etc. Good luck!
Toodamnpragmatic Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 how about communicating??? 5 years together, last 2.5 strong.... You live him during the week and leave on weekends when his parents come.... How old are you???? How about discussing your future, dreams and goals????? That would be a start.......
Malenfant Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 people often dont say things directly in a formal way. i'm sure he felt by saying about moving your things in, that was his way of asking. i'm a little confused as you havent said how you feel about moving in with him. you've not mentioned any problems in your relationship, and the fact that he's been saying 'we' about you both instead of 'i' is a really nice thing. what exactly are you worried about? sounds great to me
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