amagordos Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 So there is this guy in one of my classes that i really like, but i just don't have the courage to talk to him. I am afraid of rejection and that he might be taken, so i am kind of trying to get him to talk to me, but nothing works. I tried looking at him, but he never looks back and when i think he is looking i don't look because i am way too shy. Help please, he is all i ever think about Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 So there is this guy in one of my classes that i really like, but i just don't have the courage to talk to him. I am afraid of rejection and that he might be taken, so i am kind of trying to get him to talk to me, but nothing works. I tried looking at him, but he never looks back and when i think he is looking i don't look because i am way too shy. Help please, he is all i ever think about How attractive are you on a scale of 1-10, 10 being gorgeous? I ask this for multiple reasons, answer instinctively. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amagordos Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 Well it depends on how i dress. I say when i don't do anything im average like 5 or 6. When i dress up a little im a 7 and when i really dress up im a 9. So i am 6.8 on a scale of 1-10. Link to post Share on other sites
RATED-RKOFRANKLIN Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Just talk to the guy. The conversation can be about anything. Ask him what did he make on a test. Ask him for help in class even if you don't need it. You can take the conversation further. If he is taken then start a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Well it depends on how i dress. I say when i don't do anything im average like 5 or 6. This is the only part I care about, and the only part that matters. This is how you are %90 of your life, don't factor in when you're maxed out and dressed up because it doesn't happen all the time. I asked this because I wanted to know A) how you view yourself, and B) what your attraction powers are for the opposite sex. Now most girls are modest so I'll put you at about a seven. Seven is a decent score. (sorry to simplify your situation so much down to mere numbers, I know it's more complicated than that) If you like the guy, you have a chance of getting him. Confidence, flirtation, body language, you can work all of these into making him take notice of you if you want to. I think if you worked on yourself in the confidence department, started acting/dressing sexier (without looking slutty), and started flirting more, you would turn a lot of heads- and not just the one you're pining for. Get sassy (without being bitchy), and smile more often. It takes a lot of effort for a girl to do these things if they aren't used to it, I know. But you will see results if you do, I promise. If you want guys to be attracted to you, become an object of attraction. I don't mean you are an object, or that you should come off as easy or anything, just saying don't be afraid to become the center of attention. All this of course, if you've already tried talking to him. If you haven't tried this yet, it comes first lol I'm sure there are lots of girls on here that can recommend ways to flirt, body language, and different attraction styles that have worked for them in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amagordos Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 Thanks for all the advice. Well i see him once a week, and i never said a word to him, so i don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. Im hoping he doesnt. Its hard for me because i am not a flirt and i dont like dressing up or better yet don't know how without looking like i am trying too hard. I guess i do need tips on how to flirt because i can't even discern when a guy is flirting or just being nice. I also suffer from confidence issues because when i was in junior high and in the first years of high school, i was teased mercilessly. Boys acted like i was hot, but they said it in a mocking tone and girls were mean to me for no reason. i have always fallen for guys that are taken or that don't like me at all, which also makes me more afraid to talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Awesome Username Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Awwe, I'm gonna follow up on this one. Keep us updated!!! If he brags about being good at something like cars or computers, you can ask him for help. Guys can be really dense sometimes. I flirted with this one guy in school a ton, got him to help me with stuff asked him to do stuff, and he would always ignore and not give me signs. One day I myspaced him that I liked him, and he was SHOCKED and didn't even notice that I was flirting with him every second. We went out for two and a half years after that, but I'll tell ya, I tried everything under the sun short of telling him I liked him. He TRULY had no clue in the world. Just a heads up on how dunce some of them can be. Tight shirt, get your hair done, mascara and lip gloss will always make you feel more confident in the "giving boys the eye" department. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Tight shirt, get your hair done, This would work for me. As a seven you are probably not overweight and not too skinny. I'd be flirting with you. Link to post Share on other sites
always_searching Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 TheLoneSock: I have to ask, what the H is with the scale? Placing people on a scale somewhere between 1 and 10 is so de-personalizing and not at all what the OP needs to worry about. Is this really how men categorize women? I haven't heard that crap in ages, and it was always stated by men who were a 4-5 at best--I'm not saying this applies to you, but, ironically, nearly all of the men I've ever spoken with be about "the scale" and who placed women on said scale were not very attractive themselves. amagordos: I think you should focus on being more open and friendly. Despite how you look, studies have shown that smiling, laughing, and seeming warm and friendly are more related to sustained attraction that physical appearance. So, when you next see him, look him in the eye, smile, and look away--just act nonchalant and like it's no big deal. Then, when you start to feel comfortable looking at him and smiling, try saying, "Hi." I think the major thing you have to realize is that he is a person--he too has insecurities. You just have to see his humanity and not think less of yourself in relation to him. You are both equals. You both have troubles, insecurities, likes and dislikes, etc. Life is short, so go talk to this guy! What is the worst that can happen? It's not like you're asking him out the moment you speak to him. I'm sure, regardless of what happens romantically, he will be open to being your friend. I've been in your situation, albeit many years ago, and I made things so awkward and placed the guy on pedestal. If anything, learn from my mistake: realize he too is a person and no better than you. Anyway, good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 TheLoneSock: I have to ask, what the H is with the scale? Placing people on a scale somewhere between 1 and 10 is so de-personalizing and not at all what the OP needs to worry about. Is this really how men categorize women? I haven't heard that crap in ages, and it was always stated by men who were a 4-5 at best--I'm not saying this applies to you, but, ironically, nearly all of the men I've ever spoken with be about "the scale" and who placed women on said scale were not very attractive themselves. Yes it is de-personalizing, but it simplifies things as well. Plus it's a good guage as to how she sees herself- which has to do with the biggest factor: confidence. Furthermore, she went right along with it, she even got into the decimals. So don't get all bent out of shape. It's not as big a deal as you're trying to make it out to be. Link to post Share on other sites
bluestraps Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Heres my advice . its 2009 !! Women are equal to men right ??? Its simple you need to break the ice. Tell him you like his shirt, his pants whatever you think looks good on him dont comment on any physical part yet . Like "I really like the shirt your wearing today!" or the jeans what ever. or maybe a earing if he has one.Once you do this he may give a sign right away.I/ve never had a woman do that to me yet . so I guess i need to dress better LOL.... Link to post Share on other sites
always_searching Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Yes it is de-personalizing, but it simplifies things as well. Plus it's a good guage as to how she sees herself- which has to do with the biggest factor: confidence. Furthermore, she went right along with it, she even got into the decimals. So don't get all bent out of shape. It's not as big a deal as you're trying to make it out to be. LOL, no one is getting bent out of shape--there you go with that "jump to conclusions mat," again. You're right: she went with it. I am just saying that I think the scale is crap. Period. I'm not mad about it being crap, but merely stating that it is crap. A simple observation, that's all. Though, I still don't think the scale is helpful. From her original post it seems pretty clear that her confidence isn't very high; so, I suppose I just didn't see the need to exploit it by making her worry about where she falls on some "hotness" scale. But, that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 LOL, no one is getting bent out of shape--there you go with that "jump to conclusions mat," again. You're right: she went with it. I am just saying that I think the scale is crap. Period. I'm not mad about it being crap, but merely stating that it is crap. A simple observation, that's all. Though, I still don't think the scale is helpful. From her original post it seems pretty clear that her confidence isn't very high; so, I suppose I just didn't see the need to exploit it by making her worry about where she falls on some "hotness" scale. But, that's just me. Wanna know something funny? The first time I ever heard it used was in highschool by a group of girls describing themselves. Not something I picked up from guys that are 4s or 5s. Link to post Share on other sites
seychelles Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 find a way to talk to him! drop your pencil or something. the worst thing is rejection but there's always other guys. sometimes guys like it when girls take the initiative. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amagordos Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 Again thank you guys for the advice. I will take all this into consideration and if i am brave will act on it. Last week, he sat close to me. Its a class where people alternate seats, and sometimes he sits near the wall and other times he sits closer to me. That time i was trying to catch his eye, but i couldn't the whole time and when it was break time, he didn't go outside. He just stayed there listening to music. i was just sitting there too. I felt so deflated and disappointed i didn't do anything. You know its not easy for me. Link to post Share on other sites
gman36 Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Just Talk to him? the world series are going on ask him who he likes in the series and go from there. be flirty and he will know your into him because most girls dont do baseball. if that dont work flash your tits that will get his attention. seriously just talk to him about baseball guys love it when girls ask about sports. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Well it depends on how i dress. I say when i don't do anything im average like 5 or 6. When i dress up a little im a 7 and when i really dress up im a 9. So i am 6.8 on a scale of 1-10. BS. No one goes from 5 to 9 by simply dressing better. Get real. Link to post Share on other sites
zhsoj Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Just Talk to him? the world series are going on ask him who he likes in the series and go from there. be flirty and he will know your into him because most girls dont do baseball. if that dont work flash your tits that will get his attention. seriously just talk to him about baseball guys love it when girls ask about sports. Unless of course the guy doesn't care about baseball... Link to post Share on other sites
Brady_to_Moss Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Just talk to him!! I wish a girl would come up and talk to me that wasn't my friend but it has never happened in my lifetime and i dont expect it to. If girls tried a little more when it comes to chasing a guy..there would be sooo many happy people out there. Why are you so into him if you don't mind me asking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amagordos Posted November 9, 2009 Author Share Posted November 9, 2009 Well he's really cute. I know that sounds shallow, but i also like the way he dresses and his voice and i just want to get to know him better and see if maybe we could at least be friends. He has a nice smile too. We are in a music class together, so i know he loves music just like me. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Just Talk to him? the world series are going on ask him who he likes in the series and go from there. be flirty and he will know your into him because most girls dont do baseball. if that dont work flash your tits that will get his attention. seriously just talk to him about baseball guys love it when girls ask about sports. Agree with the other reply.. I personally don't give a crap about baseball if a girl came up to me starting to talk about baseball.. I'd give her a blank look.. I couldn't even name any members of any of our big city sports teams cause I just don;'t care about sports or baseball. She has to tailor it to the individual.. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 Just talk to him hon. About anything And dont be ashamed to tell him you find him attractive. Fear of rejection is an empty fear. And telling sopme guy you think hes atractive isnt like offering to have sex with him in the janitors closet. Truthfully most of the girls Ive dated have approached me. Not that I dont approach women, butr the better catches always seem to pursue you Link to post Share on other sites
RobM Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 If you're shy start practicing talking to strangers, everyday do it at least once, anytime you're standing in line for anything make a comment to the person next to you about anything, the weather, sports, what they are wearing or a book they have in their hand, anything.... Tell someone that you like something they are wearing, the point is that just like anything else you have to practice doing it when it doesn't matter so you'll feel more comfortable doing it when it does matter to you. You'll also find that most people are pretty nice and you'll start to lose your fear of talking to complete strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
LostInLA Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 So there is this guy in one of my classes that i really like, but i just don't have the courage to talk to him. I am afraid of rejection and that he might be taken, so i am kind of trying to get him to talk to me, but nothing works. I tried looking at him, but he never looks back and when i think he is looking i don't look because i am way too shy. Help please, he is all i ever think about I like how you are still getting advice in this thread. Since it's been a month, have you talked to him yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amagordos Posted November 24, 2009 Author Share Posted November 24, 2009 no i still haven't gotten the nerve to do it and my class will be over in three weeks, so i only have three more chances before i never see him again. Im just so scared of rejection because all my life, all the guys i have ever liked, never liked me back. I always told them how i felt, and none of them felt the same way. Im scared of freaking him out and embarrassing myself, but im more scared of not ever talking to him Link to post Share on other sites
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