MEN, I have the secret to getting women!

[The.One]

And no, this isn't a ploy to sell you something.

 

I've been lurking these forums for about a week or so. I decided to join this forum because I wanted to help some men with some relationship problems. But quickly enough, I find theories after theories, but not enough life to posts.

 

I specialize in helping men because I find that women are irrational and want to talk about problems rather than find a solution. I'm not trying to be offensive, it is just what I find. Men are natural Mr. Fix-its. We find a problem, we find a way to fix it.

 

So here we go.

 

MEN, QUIT THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT WOMEN.

 

Wow, big statement to make on a forum called LoveShack, but let's start to break it down and maybe rebuild some confidence into you men.

 

You know what the key is to getting a woman? It's not thinking about it. It's hard and not easy to do when you're lonely and everywhere you go you see couples holding hands. Two squirrels are sharing their harvested nuts. Even the snails are humping on the sidewalk in your front yard. It's like the end of the world and all you have to comfort you is your tamale that you bought from the Tamale Lady near the Mission in SF. Everyone is together and your lonely hand grasps a tamale and your other grasps your broken heart.

 

And you realize, "GOSH, how pathetic have I become?"

 

You know what your problem is? Instead of looking at the hot girl by herself at the bus stop or the bar with the guys playing pool or the Borders across the street with all the knowledge that you can buy in paper format. You're looking at people that you wish you wanted to be, that you yourself cannot be.

 

You know what the key element in your happiness is? IT'S YOU! And only you.

 

Let's break it down again. What do women ACTUALLY look for?

 

They are looking for a bold, confident, man, you is MASCULINE, definitive, knows what he wants in life and knows how to get it. He doesn't give up when the going gets tough, and he doesn't take any day of the week for granted.

 

There is no part in that statement that has to do with actually worrying about women. Because that's what WOMEN really want. A MAN who doesn't really care what they want.

 

And you say "WAITAMINUTE, women don't want a man that cares what they want?"

 

YES! That is exactly what I'm saying. Now don't get me wrong. You care about your woman because she's YOUR woman. You love her, your adore her, but ultimately, YOU ARE NUMBER 1. You're the person you have to deal with in the morning. You're the person who is striving for success. You are THE ONE.

 

You know what a woman is? A thoughtful addition to your life. Not a necessary cause for it. It's when you feel that way that women will flock to you. Why? For a couple reasons.

 

1) They don't have you at hello.

2) They have to work for your attention.

3) YOU ARE DAMN MANLY.

 

So you ask. "OH GOSH, WHAT HAVE I DONE AND WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? THEY MUST THINK I'M A PANSY BY NOW."

 

Well gentlemen. Follow me as I guide you to a new verse in your life.

 

Look at yourself. In the mirror. Right now.

 

Done?

 

What is it that you don't like in yourself or your world?

 

Examples:

I wish I were a little more buff.

I don't have a bunch of guy friends.

I don't have the job I always wanted.

I wish I understood more.

I really should go back to school.

The door to my bedroom still creaks.

 

You know what, we as men need to focus on? Ourselves. We need to find out what bugs us in our life and fix it. What do we call that? SELF-IMPROVEMENT. That one thing we haven't worked on for a while as we moan and gripe about what people think of us. We forget to think about what we think of ourselves.

 

And you know what self-improvement brings? A refined sense of confidence in your life. A life full of boldness, creativity, AMBITION, strive. A lifestyle that is based around YOU!

 

And you know what happens after that. Everywhere you walk, you walk with confidence. And by that, NATURALLY, women will flock to you. They will fight for your attention. Because your attention is focused on YOU and your future. She just wants to be a part of it.

 

All the gimmicks they sell on getting a girl to bed in X numbers of days. And how to seduce effectively. BURN IT UP. That is not what you men really want. You men want to live life and focus on the REAL stuff. Find your flaws, fix them, and women will come. And you'll feel better for it.

 

-Stop-

 

I'm ending it here because I'm heading out for drinks. But if this is well-received, I will add more to it. Hopefully I benefit someone.

[LovesAsianWomen]

.....that sort of falls into the category of "bad boys get all the girls." Women want a guy who really does care about them and loves them in an unselfish way. They may not seem to want that because there are women who "think" they want a bad boy until they have to put up with all the dramas that come with a bad boy. Guys do the same thing when they think they want a "hot" woman but have to put up with all the crap that comes with some of these so called hotties. It's a two way street guys ! Don't forget that!

 

So what is the solution? Well no doubt there are answers for each and every guy depending on who he is and what he wants. Same for women. THERE IS NO ONE UNIVERSAL ANSWER !!!! Remember that !

 

For those who are SERIOUS about finding a woman and keeping her here is my theory. Very common sense. First of all you need to ask yourself why relationships fail. It's easy to know what makes them work because the ones that work are because the two people involved are employing a lot of commons sense. No need to be a genius to make a relationship work.

 

Okay here we go. It is estimated that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why? Well read on. Always look at a relationship as a 50/50 thing. You control 50% and she controls 50%. Basically if she walks it's over. If you walk it's over. It takes two to tango as they say. So here's the deal, you need to take control of the 50% you are in charge of and that will take care of 50% of the relationship right off the bat. You basically want to increase the odds that the relationship will work.

 

So let's pretend that you're perfect(nobody is though let's just pretend for a moment.) So if you're perfect then you have to deal with her problems whatever they might be. Getting the picture now? So if you work on you and get yourself "in order" then you have a much better chance of making your relationship work. Sounds simple because it is just basic commons sense. The problem here is that getting your act together requires you learning about who you are. This is not necessarily and easy thing. Everybody wants an easy answer, well guess what there are no easy answers. If there were then everybody would be happy and the divorce rate would be lower. Duhhh?

 

Okay so how do I fix myself you might ask. Well you need to learn who you are. Look at yourself in the most objective manner. Some of you reading this might not know what objective means. If you don't then go to Google and type "online dictionary" then look it up. Okay I assume you know what is objective. There are many ways to get an objective opinion. Ask friends is the cheapest and easiest. Hire a good psychologist is another way but that costs money. Thing is how much is your happiness for the rest of your life worth? Spend the money and see a good shrink and get an objective analysis of who you are.

 

Remember though when you see a shrink that he/she can't help you resolve your issues unless YOU WANT TO. That is the key here, you HAVE TO WANT TO. Not even the best shrink in the world can help you if you don't REALLY want to be helped. So let's just say you've spent time reflecting on who you are and now you know who you are. Now you're ready to go into the relationship of your dreams. When you first meet that person of your dreams you don't want to just "blurt" out all that you've discovered about yourself to them telling them all the good points and bad points. That would be relationship suicide.

 

Just let it all happen fairly naturally. I mean fairly because eventually the subject between you and your potential partner will eventually end up on relationships sooner than later. This is your opportunity to tell him/her that you have taken the time to get to know who you are (no need to tell them you saw a shrink if you did as they might think you're nuts.) Most people will welcome the fact that you care enough about yourself and your future partner that you've taken time out of your life to get yourself ready for that all important relationship. The person you meet will also think you are a very positive and assertive person for doing so. This is a plus and will certainly get you some "points." So this whole theory is not hair-brained but it DOES require hard work and takes time so get on it now.

Don't procrastinate as you never when that "right one" comes around the next corner. Remember that "opportunity comes to those who are prepared."

 

So get prepared !!!

Edited October 24, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[jimbo]

oh, brother.

[CaliGuy]

Economy hitting you hard, David DeAngelo?

[Bejita463]

I specialize in helping men because I find that women are irrational and want to talk about problems rather than find a solution.

 

This is where you lost my interest.

[The.One]

This is where you lost my interest.

 

Did you read the sentence right after that?

 

I've attempted to help women before, but they usually take the advice, and rarely run with it. It is not that I'm sexist or do not believe that women may or may not need help. It's just that I, myself, have a hard time helping them.

[Johnny M]

Some good points, OP. One thing I would add is that women thrive on male attention. When they are not getting any, they get desperate. If men one day simply stopped chasing women, women would start chasing men (it already kinda works that way in some European countries). The problem with many North American is that they have very low self-esteem and have been taught to think of women as "ladies" who need to be "courted". That's not how things work in nature.

[Bejita463]

Did you read the sentence right after that?

 

I've attempted to help women before, but they usually take the advice, and rarely run with it. It is not that I'm sexist or do not believe that women may or may not need help. It's just that I, myself, have a hard time helping them.

 

I actually read the whole thing. I didn't really feel strongly enough about what you had to say to offer commentary, but what I did offer is why I felt you aren't going to receive the kind of replies you may hope for.

 

Just a constructive criticism. Your choice of words in that particular spot were not the best they could have been, and that (for me at least) colored the tone of the rest of the post.

[Trialbyfire]

There's a fine line between male self-confidence and narcissism. Beware and wary.

[Sith Apprentice]

Cocaine works pretty good for getting women. I consider it to be a womans catnip.

[You'reasian]

Cocaine works pretty good for getting women. I consider it to be a womans catnip.

 

You're not helping....

[AD1980]

What advice do u have for somebody whos not the most attractive man in the world??

 

Im a pretty sweet and personable guy but lets be honest women are more superifcal then guys..

 

Anything i can do??

[EsmerKiss7]

And no, this isn't a ploy to sell you something.

 

 

There is no part in that statement that has to do with actually worrying about women. Because that's what WOMEN really want. A MAN who doesn't really care what they want.

 

And you say "WAITAMINUTE, women don't want a man that cares what they want?"

 

YES! That is exactly what I'm saying. Now don't get me wrong. You care about your woman because she's YOUR woman. You love her, your adore her, but ultimately, YOU ARE NUMBER 1. You're the person you have to deal with in the morning. You're the person who is striving for success. You are THE ONE.

 

You know what a woman is? A thoughtful addition to your life. Not a necessary cause for it. It's when you feel that way that women will flock to you. Why? For a couple reasons.

 

1) They don't have you at hello.

2) They have to work for your attention.

3) YOU ARE DAMN MANLY.

 

A lifestyle that is based around YOU!

 

And you know what happens after that. Everywhere you walk, you walk with confidence. And by that, NATURALLY, women will flock to you. They will fight for your attention. Because your attention is focused on YOU and your future. She just wants to be a part of it.

 

 

 

I can see what your saying here - This might get you women but not necessarily keep them... I'd like to think that is what most men want right? To not only get a woman but to keep a woman? This makes it seem like women are objects and just decor to your life not really people you can connect with...

 

It's true that women are attracted to confidence and a man who is purpose driven, but once you get a woman with your "lack of interest" and "acting like you don't care" your going to need a lot more than that to keep her interested. No one wants to be dangling on some arrogant dudes arm for some time, with no kind of intellectual or emotional fulfillment.

 

Technically, this isn't a "solution" it's a quick fix.

[threebyfate]

I can see what your saying here - This might get you women but not necessarily keep them... I'd like to think that is what most men want right? To not only get a woman but to keep a woman? This makes it seem like women are objects and just decor to your life not really people you can connect with...

 

It's true that women are attracted to confidence and a man who is purpose driven, but once you get a woman with your "lack of interest" and "acting like you don't care" your going to need a lot more than that to keep her interested. No one wants to be dangling on some arrogant dudes arm for some time, with no kind of intellectual or emotional fulfillment.

 

Technically, this isn't a "solution" it's a quick fix.

This is what I meant by the difference between "male self-confidence and narcissism". Narcissists perceive other people as "useful tools/supplies of attention" or they're chicken fodder.

[xpaperxcutx]

got to tj for a sec. TBF I can't believe you're pregnant? congrats!

[threebyfate]

Thanks xpaperxcutx. Yup, knocked up and thrilled to be so! While it doesn't fall into my timing for a life plan, shyte happens.

 

There you go, Gentlemen. If you want to not only get a girl but keep her, implant and you'll have her attention for life.

[aycarumba]

Thanks xpaperxcutx. Yup, knocked up and thrilled to be so! While it doesn't fall into my timing for a life plan, shyte happens.

 

There you go, Gentlemen. If you want to not only get a girl but keep her, implant and you'll have her attention for life.

 

 

ROFL I just did a spittake.

[RedDevil66]

You're GENIUS!

Ugh!

 

This may work on a naive 18 yr old, but this would NEVER EVER work on a grown woman past the age of 35 with any self esteem.

A guy like this would turn me off and I would not give him the time of day.

 

So yes, guys, if you want a naive 18 yr old, use this recipe.

[Sith Apprentice]

I WANT the naive 18 year olds. No women over 35 (A woman's expiration date) please.

Edited October 26, 2009 by Sith Apprentice