ppge4 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Let me start of by saying that I have never been that good at relationships. Hence why I am here I've been seeing this guy for over 6 months and the entire time it's been very hard on me. Since the day we started hanging out I've felt (and acted) tense and awkward around him because I wanted to act like the 'perfect' potential girlfriend. He was always into me, just not THAT into me. Then FINALLY after several months of keeping things 'casual', I accept that the relationship is going nowhere and that I can't chase him anymore. I decided to be myself when I'm around him - as boring or lame as it might be - but it didn't matter because I was going to set my sights elsewhere... I kid you not - the FIRST time I hang out with him after this decision, he can tell something's different. First he thinks something is wrong and when I convince him that everything is fine, he then starts acting super nice. Two weeks later and he's still acting like more of a boyfriend than ever. And it's all because I genuinely stopped trying so hard. Is that really all it took?
Clep Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Well I think it is hard for him to feel comfortable with you when you are tense around him. I know if someone was like that with me I would be wondering if they were really that into me. Maybe he feels like you are into him now, and or he likes you for who you are as you seem to be showing that now.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 It's really hard to be in relationship with somebody that's acting "perfect." I find that when somebody has flaws, it draws me closer to them because I find them to be more relate-able. You know? I'm human, you're human...look at how much we have in common. We're both "broken" and imperfect. Maybe he actually feels like you've let him in by showing him the real you. Could be a lesson in this for you - learn to love yourself. Especially since it seems to be what has really drawn him to you, now. The guy I most recently dated - he said one of the things that attracted him to me was the fact that I was aware of his flaws, I didn't see him as "perfect." But I still adored the hell out of him. Nobody can love YOU until they actually get to SEE you.
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