flc Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 So my GF of 1.5yrs left yesterday for a little holiday in France to visit her daughter. She was sick (bad cold) before she left and had a long flight plus a long train ride. I know her plane landed about 4:30a this morning and I expected her to be with her daughter before noon. Her phone will not work there but her daughter has a BB and internet. So now it is 3:30, I don't have her daughter's phone # and I have not heard a thing. I sent her daughter an email no response yet. So I call one of her friends who says she ping'ed her daughter and she arrived about 4 hours ago. So now I'm a bit pissed, first I'm worried about her and now I am upset that she could not jot off an email or a quick call to say she arrived Ok. Am I out of line? I don't want to mess up her holiday by making a big deal of this but I feel it is a bit thoughtless on her part not to realize I would be worried if I did not hear that she arrived.
Art_Critic Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I think it is an overreaction, personally. Yes and No... It's not an over reaction since he didn't know if she was okay but now that he does know from her sisters friend it would be an over reaction if he makes a big deal out of it and ruins her holiday.. This is one of those discussions that you should wait until she gets back in town and then you might just say something about.. hey I was worried about you .. how about we agree that the next time you travel that you call me when you land ? OP.. it would irk me too.. but you have to cut her some slack.. flying time and catching up with her sister can make time fly and I'd bet she didn't do it on purpose.
Author flc Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 Part of it is the reaction of being worried, then relieved then upset for being worried when I didn't need to be. I don't plan to bring this up when she does call and like AC says I will discuss when she gets back. However, it is quite hard for me to understand how when someone spends so much time with you, says they love you then seems to forget that you might be out there wondering if everything is Ok. I asked her to let me know when she got there and all I wanted was a one line email, txt msg or 2s call.
Art_Critic Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 However, it is quite hard for me to understand how when someone spends so much time with you, says they love you then seems to forget that you might be out there wondering if everything is Ok. I asked her to let me know when she got there and all I wanted was a one line email, txt msg or 2s call. I forgot my second anniversary a while back ago.... It was a good recovery so I think she really didn't know for sure that I forgot it but in reality I had forgotten all about it till I go to get in my car to go to work in the morning and she had put a little gift on my car seat.. I immediately had flowers set to our house and they got there by 11am.. My point to all the drivel is that loving/spending time with someone hasn't got anything to do with forgetting something or how much they love really love you... My wife and I had been talking about the anniversary about a week or so before hand..
EcstasyX6 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I don't know...I would have called or e-mailed my bf within the first hour or so after I landed. It's been only six months with him and I know him well. He would be worried until he heard from me(and vice versa), so yes, she should have contacted you sooner, but I don't think you should make a huge deal over it unless it's becoming a pattern of behavior. Since it's just vacation, sounds like it's a one time deal.
everylittlething Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Part of what makes a good relationship is the ability to realize the other person is not attached to your hip and you can't expect them to do exactly what you want them to do (or what you would do) in every situation. Your gf is in France visiting her daughter, maybe you weren't the first thing on her mind in the 4 hours after she landed. That's not only understandable, it's normal. The fact that she thinks about/gets excited about/wants to focus on other things besides you does NOT mean she doesn't love you. Find something to do besides watch the clock and wait for her to call and maybe you won't be questioning your relationship over every little thing.
Lucky_One Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Bad memories. I flew to Madrid about two months ago, and had to sit in a the center aisle (end seat of a row of 3, with an empty seat between me and this other man). I had a HORRIBLE cold. I basically could NOT get to sleep, even taking some melatonin, using an eye mask and earplugs and having my own polarfleece blanket and pillow. I slept for several 45 minute segments, and my sinuses were killing me. I was scared to even blow my nose with any sort of force, as I was afraid I would be restrained for being a H1N1 carrier and tied up in the lavatory by rabid passengers. I had a piece of hard candy in my mouth nearly constantly, as I was so afraid I would start coughing. Longest flight of my LIFE. I got to my hotel in Madrid - thankfully I was able to check in immediately - thank you Westin!! - and crashed for about 6 hours. I felt horrible when I woke up, but I seriously was just about to DIE. Anyway - don't sweat it. She is sick, she had a long flight, she is now listenign to her D chatter a mile a minute in her excitement, and she doesn't have a phone of her own and may not want to be pushy about borrowing as soon as she walks in - and she's safe - and that's what REALLY matters, right?
Author flc Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 I spoke to her around 6 and only mentioned I was worried. She had called her 18 yo daughter in college and told her to let me know she was Ok. Not sure why she did not call me. In any case my anger evaporated quickly and I am glad she is Ok and having fun.
Kamille Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I spoke to her around 6 and only mentioned I was worried. She had called her 18 yo daughter in college and told her to let me know she was Ok. Not sure why she did not call me. In any case my anger evaporated quickly and I am glad she is Ok and having fun. I can see calling the other daughter as a normal part of meeting up with daughter in France. Kind of a way to reunite the family. I am glad you're feeling better about it all flc.
justforfun Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I think it is an overreaction, personally. I'd have to agree with you. oops...didn't read the whole thread...me bad...looks like it was an overreaction though.
justforfun Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I forgot my second anniversary a while back ago.... It was a good recovery so I think she really didn't know for sure that I forgot it but in reality I had forgotten all about it till I go to get in my car to go to work in the morning and she had put a little gift on my car seat.. I immediately had flowers set to our house and they got there by 11am.. Smooth comeback! I like it.
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