PhoenixRise Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Tami-Chan.....I did stop. I ended it over the weekend. And even though it was a NSA sexual only affair, then why did he discuss all his marital problems with me for the past year?? 2sure....he doesn't say that to his wife. She only had sex with him 4 times A YEAR! Hence, when the woman at work came on to him he started an affair. He wanted sex....he wasn't getting any (or enough) at home AND she knew he was upset w/ the lack of sex they were having and did nothing about it. IMO...she was just as much at fault..... Mr.Lucky....I had a gut feeling he was on there and that proved to be right! :lmao: Well it is obvious that is the BW fault....It is a known FACT that men only cheat because their uncaring wives refuse to have sex with them. It does beg the question though......If he was only cheating on his wife because she refused to have sex with him.....and if he turned to YOU and got his sexual needs met by YOU....why was he looking on a hookup site for yet another OW?? I guess some men just deserve a harem. I mean.......a man who has sex with his wife's friend and his child's babysitter.....a man who trolls the internet looking for hook ups.....this is clearly a man who would never lie about anything...
seibert253 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Thanks everyone for your replies and advice. I did alot of thinking this week and ended my affair yesterday. I went to where he worked and told him I didn't want this anymore. Frankly, I'm worth more than this and I really want to work on my marriage. Also, I told him effective immediately I wouldn't be watching his son anymore. He thought it was because of our age difference (he's 29...I'm 34) It's not....it just isn't fair to any of us and I was sick of the games, BS, and lies. I feel ALOT better!! I'm sorry, but based upon your previous posts, not buying the working on marriage thing. Here's a test; want to work on your marriage, try honesty. Your first homework assignment, tell your husband everything. If you don't, well then we know where you stand on the honesty situation.
Author his puppet Posted October 26, 2009 Author Posted October 26, 2009 Mr. Lucky....I'm sure he's lied to me. I'm not that stupid! Phoenix...who knows and why ask why right? Maybe he wanted to play the field and take a chance with someone else too? And....again....I'm SURE he's lied to me. Seibert......whether you believe me or not doesn't matter. I don't know you at all. I ended it on Sat. and I'm re-committing myself to my marriage.
stuckinoz Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 I ended it on Sat. and I'm re-committing myself to my marriage. Good for you puppet. Ya gotta start progress somewhere. And don't let them bully you into telling everything to your husband if you really don't want to do that. Contrary to popular belief in LS - You CAN work on a marriage & not tell. (Ask any therapist too) Do you think the other man will leave you alone & let the affair just die?
Dexter Morgan Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 Hi everyone...I've been lurking around here for awhile and have finally decided to post my story.... I'm a MW having an A with my friend's husband. ( Although if I was her friend, I wouldn't be sleeping with her hubby I guess) At any rate, this has been going on for a year now. We've always been attracted to one another, then one day we acted on it. They will be getting a divorce soon because he had a previous affair with someone he worked with. so you are nothing special. looks like he just likes to cheat. with that said, divorce your husband and pursue this cheat. Let your husband find someone decent. and also, break ties with your "friend". She also deserves to be associated with better people. (The wife doesn't know about me or the one night stand he had right after they were married. His wife doesn't like sex and they have not had it in over a year) oh, so you are just the person to give him what he wants, right? I think I just in my mouth. I guess what I don't get is: one minute he doesn't want to have the A, then the next minute he does. It only happens when we're alone and have the opportunity. (I watch his toddler son 3x a week.) That will be coming to an end though, and he claims he'll never meet anyone for sex anywhere. I have a feeling when he gets the "urge" again though he'll call me. Why does he keep changing his mind? A month ago he was dead set on it being over, then 3 wks. ago he came on to me again. He's already told me he's not in love with me and we could never have a relationship. of course not, you are just side sex for him. Does it sound like he's confused or becoming emotionally attached? (Which I doubt....he never just calls me to say hi) Thoughts on this? ANY advice would be appreciated!!!! who gives a rat's ass if he is confused or emotionally attached. you mention nothing about your husband. I guess he is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. seriously, you are married and your husband doesn't get the courtesy of even a feakin' mention in this post by you. Divorce him, set him free from the likes of you, THEN you can worry about the OM and his motives.
tami-chan Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Tami-Chan.....I did stop. I ended it over the weekend. And even though it was a NSA sexual only affair, then why did he discuss all his marital problems with me for the past year?? why not? you were a willing audience...or maybe he thought you were Oprah? Tyra? Ann Landers? rolled into one?---not only that he got to use you sexually! The man got it made. So stop being available for this man. Stop listening to his stories. As a matter of fact, next time he starts yapping about his marriage tell him "your story saddens me" roll your eyes---> like this - tell him you don't want to hear it anymore and tell him to get lost!
seibert253 Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Mr. Lucky....I'm sure he's lied to me. I'm not that stupid! Phoenix...who knows and why ask why right? Maybe he wanted to play the field and take a chance with someone else too? And....again....I'm SURE he's lied to me. Seibert......whether you believe me or not doesn't matter. I don't know you at all. I ended it on Sat. and I'm re-committing myself to my marriage. Recommitting to your marriage, that's a great start. Maybe I'm a bit nosey, but how are you doing this? Specfics? What's your plan? Look I'm not being a smartazz here, but if you just say I'm recommiting, but don't have some type of plan, I got a feeling you're gonna end up back at square one. I'd much rather see your marriage thrive and live up to it's potential, but you got to have a plan. Here's my .02 for a beginning: 1. Be totally honest with your H and tell him everything 2. Show your committment to him and your marriage by outlining what you've done to recommit, and a plan you wish to follow. 3. Be totally transparent about every aspect of your life. Unfiltered access to all email, FB, MS accounts. Also access to your cell phone. 4. Attend MC and IC and invite him along. To me, this sounds like a reasonable start.
schewter Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 <<He said women were responding to his ad and asking for more info. I told him he didn't need to put up more info just 'cause they asked. I told him: would she (the wife) be hurt if she found out you were on the site>> This confuses me...I mean, you're having an affair with the guy. You obviously don't care if his wife gets hurt.
Author his puppet Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Saw my exAP last night at a school event. I didn't say hello to him or even acknowledge him. I did speak with his wife though. I noticed (out of the corner of my eye) that he kept glancing at me. I hope I hurt him with my actions because he has certainly hurt me in the past. I know I shouldn't be like that, but it's true. Since I broke it off with him I have not contacted him nor has he contacted me. I know I wasn't his first affair, and I'm not going to be the last. Just wait until he wants it again.... On a different note.....hubby and I are doing much better since I'm putting all my effort into my marriage.
Space Ritual Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Saw my exAP last night at a school event. I didn't say hello to him or even acknowledge him. I did speak with his wife though. I noticed (out of the corner of my eye) that he kept glancing at me. I hope I hurt him with my actions because he has certainly hurt me in the past. I know I shouldn't be like that, but it's true. Since I broke it off with him I have not contacted him nor has he contacted me. I know I wasn't his first affair, and I'm not going to be the last. Just wait until he wants it again.... On a different note.....hubby and I are doing much better since I'm putting all my effort into my marriage. The only way you will be able to put any effort into your marriage is to stop living this lie...you think its all about you. Wake Up and Grow up Lady! Give your husband the true gift of love and tell him and let it be his decision whether or not the marriage will continue. You lost that right the minute you cheated on him. Please feel free to post when this comes back and blows up in your face, which it will. How about your husband?...when are you gonna come clean with him? Or that poor woman you helped to destroy? She will eventually find out. lol Your act is a s fresh as a Foghat concert...you are living one of their songs out.."Live Now, Pay Later". You should listen to the lyrics...It fits you to a tee
Author his puppet Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 For YOUR information Space Ritual, I DID tell my husband. He was angry, hurt, and sad. (Obviously) He said hopefully someday he would be able to forgive me but that it would take alot of time, healing and work. Yes, I feel awful and yes, I deserve everything I get for my infidelity. I WANT to turn over a new leaf and make my marriage right again. We start counseling Wednesday night. I appreciate everyone's advice on here....BUT...I will not ever be posting here again. This is one part of my life I am shutting the door on and never walking through again. I wish everyone on this board the best...........
imagine Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Thank you for the update Puppet. Please read the free articles at Marriage builders. com. I'm sure these will help. God bless you!
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