Miad's Princess Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I don't usually post looking for advice, and to some this may be petty but... Here goes,(sorry if it is long) the first time I went over to see Miad was in aug-sep 08, when I was leaving I decided to leave some of my things, one of which was my ipod..now I love my ipod it is full of pictures of us and lots of beautiful songs, still (He listened to it a lot while I was there) so I told him I will leave it for you to listen to and I will get it when I come back over. So that was fine. Between me going back Miad moved to another city to work and moved into something like a dorm (which is shared with other guys) one of the things he took was my ipod along with one of my photos. The next time I went over was june-july this year, I flew into the city he was staying at but because it is an all guy dorm, we drove back to his home city and we stayed there back at his mum's house. On the way from the airport we stopped off at the dorm so he could pick up some stuff and I told him to pick up the ipod (I missed listening to it lol).......... Well he came out said he couldn't find it so we just left it and went on our way. On my arrival back here in the uk I asked him did you ever find the ipod he said no (well it's pink I think he would notice if someone else had taken it) It bothered me he had been careless with my property but anyhow.. Here is my problem, today I was thinking of my ipod and where it could have went. I did ask before did you give it to anyone but he swears no. So today I said you know the ipod, if someone has got it, (ie taken it) they are going to see our pictures (some a little naughty).... and he said "Don't worry I deleted them" he didn't just mean the naughty ones he said all the files apart from the music I said WHAT!! you deleted my stuff he said yea I done it months ago before I moved, I asked him what right did you have deleting my pictures, there not urs to delete, he said well you should have told me wtf... I said you should have asked he said but you gave me the ipod emm no I let you borrow it. He has this attitude of well it's done now so just forget about it, and he has the pics on his laptop anyway but it pisses me off and on top of the fact he has lost it. The insecure part of me thinks he gave the ipod to someone (I did ask that at the time), but now knowing he deleted all our pics makes me think it more. But that aside should I be upset with him, what do you guys think?
Lucky_One Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I am not really sure what the entire issue is here. I wouldn't be upset if he deleted the pictures as long as they are saved to a laptop or DVD or something. I wouldn't want naughty pictures like that on something that is so easily lost or stolen, or if I was going to let someone borrow it or even if someone was just listening to a song. That is far too personal for me for possible "public" viewing. iPods break easily, as well, and the pictures should be stored on something less vulnerable to loss. While he may have been careless with your property, it should always be a given in your mind that when you give/lend/whatever something of yours to another person, that it may be lost, stolen, broken, sold or kept if you were to break up. Never ever lend something that would greatly upset you if it were missing forever. It sounds as though it is gone, it sounds as though he doesn't know WHAT happened to it, and I would try very hard to just forget about it. It's just an iPod, when you get right down to it - an electronic device that breaks easily. Replace it, and refill it with your pictures and your songs and enjoy it - and keep it to yourself, if you are concerned with what he did with it.
Author Miad's Princess Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 I am not really sure what the entire issue is here. I wouldn't be upset if he deleted the pictures as long as they are saved to a laptop or DVD or something. To me having the pictures or not saved on another device isn't my issue. I am upset because of the principle he shouldn't have deleted our pictures, for what reason? there was no reason! It is like a slap in the face to the relationship, who would see pics of them and there so and think oh Ill delete them. Makes no sense to me.
Lucky_One Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Like I said. You call some of the pictures naughty, and I wouldn't leave them on a device so easily stolen or lost. I don't like the thought of anyone seeing things like that.
Author Miad's Princess Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 Your right about that, I am not even 100% sure if there was any naughty ones, he said there wasn't. When I asked him why he deleted them, he said something along the lines of it was litter so I put it in the trash......that hurt , he may as well put the pics he finds on his laptop in the trash too then if that is his attitude. He seems to think no big deal, but to me it is. They were memories and I know for a fact he doesn't have them all on his laptop. (as back up)
SuburbanOblivion Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I wouldn't take it as a slap to the relationship, but I would be mildly annoyed. As long as the pics were backed up it wouldn't be a huge big deal. I don't think it would be at all out of line to tell him he needs to replace the ipod that he lost though.
Rollercoasterr Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 The only part I would be bothered by is the litter comment. That wasn't very nice to say. They are, in fact, pictures of you. You'd think he would cherish them and not call them litter. Other than that, someone probably stole it and he doesn't want to upset you by telling you about it. Just relax. It's easily replaceable, but I know how annoying it is to have to buy something like that because of another persons negligence. On a side note, since I'm thinking about it, do you think that maybe when the ipod was taken/lost that maybe the pictures actually WEREN'T deleted and he's just afraid to tell you because you'll freak out? If you're the one who put the pictures on there and thought that maybe there was something naughty on it, then there probably was. Maybe he's just trying to cover his ass so you wont get so mad. In any case it's gone now. Mildly annoying, yes. But irreplaceable, no. Especially if they were all backed up.
Author Miad's Princess Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 The only part I would be bothered by is the litter comment. That wasn't very nice to say. They are, in fact, pictures of you. You'd think he would cherish them and not call them litter. Other than that, someone probably stole it and he doesn't want to upset you by telling you about it. Just relax. It's easily replaceable, but I know how annoying it is to have to buy something like that because of another persons negligence. On a side note, since I'm thinking about it, do you think that maybe when the ipod was taken/lost that maybe the pictures actually WEREN'T deleted and he's just afraid to tell you because you'll freak out? If you're the one who put the pictures on there and thought that maybe there was something naughty on it, then there probably was. Maybe he's just trying to cover his ass so you wont get so mad. In any case it's gone now. Mildly annoying, yes. But irreplaceable, no. Especially if they were all backed up. He explained the litter comment apparantly I misunderstood him He tells me he thinks it was stolen I just don't believe it, why someone would steal a pink ipod (plus he would see them using it and know it was mine) He says the pics were deleted long before he moved, and long before it was lost idk. The pics are not replaceable because, he didn't have them all on his laptop, and the few he did have are not there now. Anyway I was more angry with his attitude to it all, but he seems to have changed that, so I feel a bit better about the whole thing.
rainyday9 Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 (edited) i know you might feel better NOW, but from experience, keep this incident in mind for later. I know how you feel. He reminds me of my ex. My ex never apologized even if it's clearly his mistake and eventually I got tired of his attitude. There were many fights (most were about his rudeness) and I stayed with him for way too long. My advice is, don't let it happen too many times. If you feel it is disrespect, it is! I'm sorry but I disagree with everyone else here. At most, it's a little tiny redflag he doesn't respect your things.. i really really hope it doesn't later translate to not respecting you. Edited October 25, 2009 by rainyday9 edit
TwoForgiving Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 I don't know about the other posters but I would agree with the OP on this one. If I lend something out to someone I don't expect them to delete anything on it whether it's backed up or not. It doesn't belong to him and was a very disrespectful thing to do. Add to it the fact that he doesn't even sound sincerely sorry for doing it. Yeah, this would affect the relationship for me - not the fact that the pictures were deleted but the fact that he callously deleted them and then isn't even sorry for not having asked.
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