Author HeartbrokenK Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 Angel1111, I know all of that - I'm not asking for advice concerning him. I'm asking how to deal with my emotions.
Brightmoon Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Sod the 6 months. he's done nothing to deserve another chance. Why waste the time trying? you are worth so much more than that my dear. *hugs* Thank your stars you found out early and get out of there with your dignity intact. I second that. I am sorry for the pain you are in HBK.
Woman In Blue Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 1) I'm aware that I'm probably making a mistake. I'm not being blind and stupid. Yet, you'll stay to the bitter end. I get it. It's a huge mistake, but I get it. Hope springs eternal. 2)I gave him 6 months to work it out. I WILL KEEP TRYING until 6 months are up. If I cut and run, it won't be because I didn't try. I will not do what he did and make promises I didn't intend to keep. This really has nothing to do with you not wanting to be a "promise breaker" and everything to do trying to buy time with the blind hope that he'll finally clean his pathetic act up. 3) I want to see if it will work. It probably won't, I'm well aware of that. But I have to believe that all men aren't completely evil and can change before I'm cut loose on the single world again with an axe to grind. You're right - it probably won't work. Not when you're with someone who has absolutely NO qualms about disrespecting you over and over and over and over and over and over. What I'm asking for is advice on how to handle my own emotions in a healthy, positive way. As long as you're in a dysfunctiona and unhealthy atmosphere, that's a bit hard to accomplish, I would imagine. He's slowly chipping away at your pride, dignity, self esteem, and self worth, so it's going to be a battle to hold on tight to them. I'm with the others - bring this facade to an end before you lose more than you bargained for. Sometimes you just have to know when to fold your cards and walk away from the table.
eeyore1981 Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 (edited) What I'm asking for is advice on how to handle my own emotions in a healthy, positive way. They're my emotions. Yes, he caused them, he's responsible for them, but he can't fix all of them - I have to do that on my own. Anyone have advice on dealing with the betrayal, humiliation, grief, fear, paranoia? Get rid of him. If your M has any chance of working out, he has to be willing to be completely upfront about whatever you ask, and clearly he is not. My H lied to me for over two years. Is he telling the truth now? I think so, but not 100% sure I haven't been manipulated. And you know what, after over 2 years, I'm also not sure I even care anymore. Some things have a time limit, and in my case, it may be too late. Meanwhile, H has been trying so hard, and doing a pretty good job, too, to be a better person and a better husband. My 25th annniversary was less than 2 weeks ago. If you hear nothing else I say to you, hear this. You do not want to wake up 25 years from now and be me. BTW, you say you made the deal to give it 6 months. That deal is broken by him every time he lies to you. Edited December 25, 2009 by eeyore1981 forgot something.
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Don't try and save this marriage. Anytime you think about giving him another chance, picture seeing him hunched over her all eager while her pants were around her ankles. That should help keep you focused on giving this douchebag what he deserves. No matter what he's been through in the past- that doesn't give him a free pass to shatter your heart. You can look back and call yourself silly for not recognizing the red flags- but it's not your fault that he did what he did. Get away from this guy- far away.
ForumFool Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 I don't wait 6 months to throw garbage out.....It's time to get rid of him..it was the moment you knew
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