salem mark Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 What are everyone's thought on this. My reasoning, My experience is that all breakups are usually done by the female (9 out of 10) They say they they want someone to appreciate them, but if you comply with that (make yourself available 24/7) they become resentful and want space. Resentful because your not a challenge anymore and your boring. I just learned this personally, for the umpteenth time, (Why don't I learn?) What the hell is wrong with you women? Why can't you be happy with someone? We're all lucky to find a mate, just a mate, and you have the audacity to audition men? Comments?
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 It's real simple. It's the power of the p*ssy. Another male will fold. You lose. The upside is you have a choice. You can choose which women to give it a go with and you can choose how you act and react in that dynamic. Choose wisely (Hint: what women say they want and what they really want are incongruent. Do what *you* want)
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Here's another truism..... women are happiest when they're unhappy
espec10001 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Yea, don't worry about trying to make ANYONE happy unless they are paying your bills . You can't make a woman happy, this shouldn't be news. But you CAN find fulfillment in yourself, that you DO have control over. A big issue is women are not good at controlling their emotions. Thus being with a woman is like a mixed bag: when she's in a good mood things are great. But when she's in a bad mood, watch out! Men are usually better at controlling emotions and thoughts so work on that instead. You can't work on a woman and her emotions it's impossible and a waste of time.
sumdude Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Here's another truism..... women are happiest when they're unhappy LOL and when they actually stop kvetching at you about things be ready for the axe to swing.
Devil Inside Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Is anyone ever truly happy all the time...man or woman? I would say that if the women in your life are breaking up with you...and telling you the same things...then you have a pattern to look at. What kind of women are you picking? What are you putting and not putting into the relationship? These things are usually much more complicated then a general statement that women are never happy. I mean...duh...of course they're not...but in a healthy relationship...even if they are not...they stay.
Lizzie60 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Maybe it's not the women.. maybe it's YOU... just saying.. In my case, I love variety (so far) I'm not saying that will never change .. but for now.. I'm happy in the disposable society..
Devil Inside Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Maybe it's not the women.. maybe it's YOU... just saying.. In my case, I love variety (so far) I'm not saying that will never change .. but for now.. I'm happy in the disposable society.. Good point...it's not that they cannot be happy...just not happy with one person...or this OP in particular. Which brings me back to my other point...are you picking emotional unavailable women OP? Or women that are obviously going to get bored after a while with the hopes of changing them.
BookerT Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 What are everyone's thought on this. My reasoning, My experience is that all breakups are usually done by the female (9 out of 10) They say they they want someone to appreciate them, but if you comply with that (make yourself available 24/7) they become resentful and want space. Resentful because your not a challenge anymore and your boring. I just learned this personally, for the umpteenth time, (Why don't I learn?) What the hell is wrong with you women? Why can't you be happy with someone? We're all lucky to find a mate, just a mate, and you have the audacity to audition men? Comments? Learn to appreciate a woman without turning into a puppy dog. The vast majority of women want a man that can take charge, who they can respect, and make them feel safe. Nice but in a subservient way doesn't make them feel safe.
Author salem mark Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 I love variety? so you leave men often?
The Collector Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I I would say that if the women in your life are breaking up with you...and telling you the same things...then you have a pattern to look at. What kind of women are you picking? What are you putting and not putting into the relationship? These things are usually much more complicated then a general statement that women are never happy. I mean...duh...of course they're not...but in a healthy relationship...even if they are not...they stay. I don't have a pattern of being dumped, but I agree with the rough figure of women breaking up a relationship 9 times out of 10. Why would this be? I think one factor is the generations of women in love with the idea of independence and bored by the idea of loyalty and monogamy. Also many seem to have unrealistic expectations and will not - dreaded word for many women - settle for anything less than a charming millionaire (who never watches porn). Meanwhile men accept more faults in their partner and love loyally anyway. If this makes men seem nicer than women, there's always the argument that many of these men are operating from desperation and a scarcity mentality, while women think correctly that there will always be another suitor. For whatever reason there seem far more female 'relationship players' (I just made that term up) than the dreaded male player around. Male players act and say the right things till they get what they want - the woman on their back... and then they lose interest. Female Relationship Players act and say the right thing til they get what they want - the man on his knees - then lose interest.
Author salem mark Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 the collector agrees with me YEAY!!
RedDevil66 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Learn to appreciate a woman without turning into a puppy dog. The vast majority of women want a man that can take charge, who they can respect, and make them feel safe. Nice but in a subservient way doesn't make them feel safe. great reply and good point. Maybe have a good look at why your women are not ever happy, there is a HUGE possibility that you are part of the problem.
Lizzie60 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I love variety? so you leave men often? The only 2 long-term relationships I had (total of 23 years) I was the one who left.. Now, for the last 7 years (as single).. I never wanted another long-term relationships.. I don't really believe in long-term with the same person without being unfaithful.. and that goes for men AND women.. I am NOT proving your point.. I don't know you.. maybe you're too clingy.. too emotionally dependant.. and that is a HUGE turn-off for any women. All I'm saying is that I AM happy with 'variety'.. I'm sure some women wants long-term, exclusive, strong relationships.. it's just not for me... for now... plus I honestly DO NOT believe in being faithful to ONLY ONE person all your life.. it absolutely doesn't make sense IMO.
Author salem mark Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 im a good solid, respectful man, (its how i was raised) Im definitely not the problem It may be - I date single women between 35 -40 and they're usually emotionally screwed up
RedDevil66 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I don't have a pattern of being dumped, but I agree with the rough figure of women breaking up a relationship 9 times out of 10. Why would this be? I think one factor is the generations of women in love with the idea of independence and bored by the idea of loyalty and monogamy. Also many seem to have unrealistic expectations and will not - dreaded word for many women - settle for anything less than a charming millionaire (who never watches porn). Meanwhile men accept more faults in their partner and love loyally anyway. If this makes men seem nicer than women, there's always the argument that many of these men are operating from desperation and a scarcity mentality, while women think correctly that there will always be another suitor. For whatever reason there seem far more female 'relationship players' (I just made that term up) than the dreaded male player around. Male players act and say the right things till they get what they want - the woman on their back... and then they lose interest. Female Relationship Players act and say the right thing til they get what they want - the man on his knees - then lose interest. what's in bold is 101% truth, the rest, a load of bull ca-ca :-)
Author salem mark Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 again, proving my point, you left
Clep Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 What are everyone's thought on this. They say they they want someone to appreciate them, but if you comply with that (make yourself available 24/7) they become resentful and want space. Resentful because your not a challenge anymore and your boring. I just learned this personally, for the umpteenth time, (Why don't I learn?) What the hell is wrong with you women? Why can't you be happy with someone? We're all lucky to find a mate, just a mate, and you have the audacity to audition men? Comments? I do want someone to appreciate me, and I want to appreciate my partner. Complying with my or any persons deep need for appreciation does not mean being available 24/7. It means to me to put us first after your need and right to care for yourself. To me it means balance. 24/7 is smothering, and provides you no life while you are a puppet on a string to someone else. She really doesn't want that I don't think. She didn't say all or nothing as black and white thinking suggests. My bf shows me appreciation regularly, without spending all his time with me. He has friends, a life, makes his own decisions. He will text me to say he is thinking of me, will call me and let me know he only has but half a minute but he wanted to spend that half a minute sharing anything he can with me, will bring me some take out when he does come over as he knows I am very busy, commits to one night a week to spend with me alone and uninterrupted. When he takes me out and dances with me he sings in my ear, tells me how special I am. When he calls me he does not call me by name, but one of the endearing names he always does. He let's me know how beautiful he thinks I am no matter what I look like at the time. He does not have to spend every waking moment with me. He can do all of those things in one night, or two nights a week. Do you do any of those types of things? Do you fit her in between your busy schedule, or sometimes make her a priority and shove the schedule aside? I don't get resentful if someone isn't a challenge. I feel poorly when my partner no longer challenges me to be the best I can be, in a gentle and caring way. I personally don't audition anyone as to me that would say I feel I am above others. I would hope that the man I am thinking of dating would simply explore me and me him, to see if our personal values match and we would be able to find a common purpose together for a future relationship. I am happy with someone...with the usual bumps in the road. Some of them feel like pebbles and some of them mountains, but overall I am happy....and I am a woman. Maybe read your post again, challenge your own perspectives and see your role here. Just some friendly advice, since you asked.
AD1980 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) Learn to appreciate a woman without turning into a puppy dog. The vast majority of women want a man that can take charge, who they can respect, and make them feel safe. Nice but in a subservient way doesn't make them feel safe. I never understood the women need a man to take charge of a relationship to feel safe,what does that even mean?? Do women think theyre mentally incapable of making any decisions in a relationship ?? Edited October 23, 2009 by AD1980
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 If a woman doesn't respond positively to support and challenge, move on. She's not for you. Balance is not her equation. Neither likely is happiness.
Trialbyfire Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Eh? Since when does appreciating someone become a 24/7 job? If that's what you're doing, you've lost yourself in the relationship. It's usually women who do this, forget about their own needs in a relationship, then get dumped and feel underappreciated, which is what appears to be attitude. No one wants 100% responsibility for another adult's life. Viable relationships tend to be partnerships with similarities of core values and goals, and other complementary traits.
BG1985 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 It's not that women are weak beings and completely incapable of making their own decisions, it's that women like men who are confident to make their own decisions. When you ask a girl where she wants to eat dinner, she typically has no clue. Women don't want men to feel like they have to cater to their even whim. If you're unable to make a decision over something small as where to grab dinner, how can you be expected to make a decision over something more serious?
AD1980 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) It's not that women are weak beings and completely incapable of making their own decisions, it's that women like men who are confident to make their own decisions. When you ask a girl where she wants to eat dinner, she typically has no clue. Women don't want men to feel like they have to cater to their even whim. If you're unable to make a decision over something small as where to grab dinner, how can you be expected to make a decision over something more serious? How do women have no clue what they want to eat?? That makes zero sense Do you have an opinion on anything? Why cant men feel the same way about women in that scenario.. If you cant make a simple decision or have an opinion about dinner becasue you dont want to bear any responsiblity or whatever the reason do i really want you in a relationship foxhole with me??? Am i your partner or father?? Making decisons should be a 50/50 thing i dont want to be this womens father and make all her decisons were supposed to be "partners" i thought? Edited October 23, 2009 by AD1980
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