Leveller Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) My ex is still with the guy she effectively left me for but still contacts me. I have asked her twice not to. She has told him nothing about me, he spends very little time in our village, she has to tell him virtually all her movements, complains if she doesn't respons quickly enough to texts, he objects to the way she dreses, who she can have as friends, that she shouldn't be going out if he's not going out. The list goes on and on and they argue regularly but he breaks and she goes back to him. She sees him as a challenge whereas I WAS easy pickings. After she got jealous I was back in touch with another ex this was a text I recieved "I get on with you too, but probably all my fault as we said don't know what I want but it will all work out. I do think positive. We'll both be ok in life, we know that. Don't matter what choices we make x". I am not yearning for a fresh chance and have been rejecting her but she knows this is what I want. Since May when I initially dropped all contact after two weeks where I and others thought we were getting back together I think I have contacted her twice. Once in July when my heart was still breaking and a meaningless text in September. She on the other hand must have contacted me 10-15 times at a guess. When we caught up at her house in July she looked overjoyed to see me and gave me 20 jealous questions about my love life which I was vague about. A week later she said we can't be seen together and won't be contacting me as her and her bf were much more serious! This lasted about 3 weeks and she starts texting me again and again I go to her house...the pattern goes on and on. I could have slept with her about three times since we got back in contact in July (this has included two occassions where she decided to take down her pyjamas to show me her bruises and one where she asked me to take her top off to show me some no-existent bruises on her shoulders). I do not want to go down the FWB path. Anyway it was her birthday on Monday, she was 45 (going on 4), and the day before I got a text which read 'Op ur goin 2 send me, nice text 2moro as a friend 4r my birthday'. A month before, the night she told me she was 'in love' with her new fella, I told her then I still loved her and said 'we should have worked' and I meant every word. On her birthday I got a few things off my chest, and it might have hit home, and I told her (again) it's probably best we cut all ties. This was the reply 'Im ok and dont b awful 2 u. Liked the company'. I get two texts yesterday. The first asked me how I was as no one had seen me (I have been deliberatlely keeping out of her line of sight) - pointless. The second said if I didn't reply she would delete my number!!!! Oh no.... Now this is what I thought would happen. I haven't replied to get her head out of her a*s. This whole fake friends bit is a mindgame to keep the thread of contact with me. She will not tell me she misses me even though I know she does. I am certain that she would love me to chase her again and I could see much more of her than I do (which has been nothing but MY choice). I am also pretty damn sure that we would have slept together again and I would have been third man in. I have a funny feeling that should I reject her, then reject her again she could well come after me. Reverse psychology and stupid mind games....? What do you all think? Childish IMO but she is begininning to fear losing me completely...strong enough to provoke second thoughts? Edited October 23, 2009 by Leveller
selena_cat Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Now i couldve sworn i replied to this post,and I wonder where is my reply? well best thing to tell her personally to not contact you and be upfront. or else she will keep contacting you knowing its not sincere,she has someone else,how many Ego boosts does she need?
torranceshipman Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Let her go ahead and delete your number-maybe she'll stop bothering you then. Or better still, delete hers....she just wants an ego boost from you anyway and you aren't getting anything out of this so get her out of your hair once and for all.
Trimmer Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 What are you getting from all this interaction? Is it feeding some need you have for a continuing connection with her? Because it's certainly feeding her need for drama, or attention, or something like that. As long as you are getting something you need from it, then continue on. But once you realize that it is taking away from you - sapping your energy, time, and spirit to feed her needs - then you will be ready to let go and completely shut it down.
littlebittle Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Ugh, this all sounds so unhealthy. Mindgames will never get you anywhere good, you'll just end up getting burnt and feeling bitter. And someone who really cares about you would not be so callous with your feelings. Like someone else said, it sounds like your ex is kind of using you as an ego boost. She probably does miss you and your attention, but that doesn't mean she wants to be with you. She also sounds immature and unstable and manipulative. If she were to go back to you, what's to say she would stay? I think your best bet is to move on. Easier said than done, I know, but I think it would be in your best interest. I agree with the other people who said you should delete her phone number and ignore her.
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