lion k Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 :eek:Wow... this site was suggested by my friend who use to come on her. She said that all the advise was amazing due to the fact that it was coming from complete strangers and yet they felt what she felt. She did leave the form because of one thing that upset her but yet she still loves it. So for my situation, I met a guy a few months ago he owed the company money and he came to pay it off... I was attracted to him right away however I felt due to the reason for us meeting was only professional (see him all the time though, just do nto ever talk to him). The other night we were both at the bar, I went there with a friend of mine and she was off doing her own thing, I always hated the table that she sat at but I thought why not sit there (he was at a different table). Fast forward he approched me and asked me to go out for a smoke, we went out and we were laughing and having a great time. When we went in my firend said that she had to leave for a minute but would be back, sure no problem... all night we talked and had alot of fun, he was saying things like he has not laughed this hard in so long, he has not felt so free around someone in over 10 years (ex wife). I told him that I thought the same thing due to my tummy hurting so bad from the laughing, we even danced a few songs (ppl in the bar said he never dances ever have they seen that) I then had to tell him that I was moving away in a few weeks gave my notice and was going to a different city. he proceded to say look I work in the mines, I make good money and I do not think that on my days off it would hurt for me to travel to where you are (3 hours away) he said he really wanted to know me more and that he would go to the city for his days off to do that. we Hung out then wentto a house party together (wow I have not been to one since I was 20) I was having a amazing time then all of a sudden my friend comes to the party to, I do not think anything of it, however she freeked out on me called me down infront of all these people that I do not know, she personally attacted me verbally that hurt, for the reason tht she was interested in him(I never knew about this) I felt bad but more mad then anything for her doing this. She questioned him and asked him straight out... how could you do this to me, I thought that you wanted to be with me. He was needless to saypretty mad for her words towards him me and everyone else, all he said back was this is who I am and what I am. Now for my question...he has avoided me kinda (not really but feels like it) What do I do, leave him alone and get him to come to me, do I try and talk to him and see if it was drunk talk, How do I deal with this. I know fora fact that I want nothing to do with her as she really said uncalled things to me that night and I removed her from my life kinda (word together) Just being nice enough to her so that she does not attack me again. I did ask him and requested him to come over and talk to me so that we can sort out if it was a moment thing or not.. he is texting me and we are still laughing ... but so far he has not showen up... works nights I work days... should I leave him alone and continue on (my move is set into place) but I hate to go without knowing the truth.... we both were scared to say it and that night we were honest (or I know I was) he also did nt come over after the bar or house party he just went home, so I know it was not for a one night thing and playing around Please help.... I have never been through this in my life like ever!! oh ya I am well into my 30s and he is 41..just in case age was a question.
everylittlething Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I think you need to back off and let HIM clarify the situation. He knows you're interested, he probably even knows you want an explanation. If he wants to keep seeing you, he will make the effort to do so. More importantly, I think you should back off for your OWN good, because you really need to get some perspective on the situation. You're letting yourself get carried away by one night at a bar. I'm not saying he was "playing" you, but it may be time to come back down to earth and see it for what it was: one really fun night out with a guy. And one really fun night does not make a committed relationship. It's a bad idea to put your heart on the line, convincing yourself that you're meant for each other and he's going to visit you all the time. Of course the things he said made you feel good, and of course you want them to be true, but the reality is that nothing he said was a promise or a proposal. There's nothing wrong with getting excited about a new interest or hoping that something more will come of it. But you're asking for hurt and disappointment if you let your vision get clouded by lust and fantasy, and you're going to drive yourself crazy if you keep picking apart the situation. Slow down, stop trying to pin your own expectations on him. Get excited about your life and all the new experiences you're about to have, and you will stop feeling so confused and anxious about this one guy.
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