Blondee68 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) Hi all. This is my first post on here. I have been reading through and can't believe there are so many people who feel the same way I do. I started to date a guy last summer who I had known for 8 years (we hang around the same group of people and have for a long time). We got to talking at a friend's wedding last year and things progressed pretty quick from that night on. After spending 3-4 nights a week together for 4 months all of a sudden he put the brakes on and what we had just stopped with him saying he wasn't capable of a relationship at that time as he has a lot of issues in his life, which I know about and didn't want to hurt me cause he knew I was falling for him. Funny thing is I was warned he would hurt me told him that he would and he worked overtime to prove to me he wasn't that guy anymore. Soon as things got serious he panicked. Somehow we have remained friends since but I feel like I am in a bad marriage with this guy. He actually had the nerve to ask me to give him some time and maybe we can be together in the future. This man is 41 years old and can't seem to get his life in order. He has been dating another woman for quite some time now yet everytime he needs something done, has to talk about what is going on in his life or needs emotional support I am the one he calls. I don't know why he isn't doing all these things with his girlfriend. The sad part is this woman doesn't know the real him as he pretends to be someone he is not for her. Kind of pathetic actually. He has never brought her around to any functions or introduced her to our friends and when I asked him about her he told me he didn't have a girlfriend. He does talk about her to a couple of our friends, which is how I found out about her. He was supposed to bring her to a wedding we were both at a couple of weeks ago but all of a sudden decided not to. He even insisted on driving me home after the wedding. I am the only woman he has slept with that he still talks to and the only other female friend he has is my bestfriend. When we do go out whether it be golfing or a bar he insists on paying for me. I have helped him out financially and he always tells me how I am the reason he has been able to straighten out his financial problems and couldn't have done it without me. I don't understand why he still calls/test/msn me sometimes 3 - 4 times a day. I am never the one to contact him and if I ignore him he calls me more or shows up at my house. I really care for him and can't break all ties because like I said we hang around the same group of people and have a lot of fun together. When we don't talk for a couple days I start to think I am getting over him and ready to move on with my life and then there he is again. It tears me up inside because I care very deeply for this man and never had such a strong emotional/physical connection with someone before. I am an intelligent, successful, attractive woman and I feel foolish that at my age I let someone get to me so bad that I have let myself get into this situation to be walked all over and used. I just wish I knew how to move on. Thanks for listening. Edited October 23, 2009 by Blondee68
NoneoftheAbove Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) Im sorry you are going through this. I would suggest, you ask him nicely to not to contact you at all. Including msn, email, text messages etc. It seems like, he only needs you when hes emotional like you said. All i can say is dont let anyone walk all over you or use you ive been there it hurts, the best way you can move on is cut all contact and tell him to stop contacting you. You deserve better, find someone who can love you like you love them. I learned this the hard way, best wishes. Edited October 23, 2009 by NoneoftheAbove Spelling
Recommended Posts