muse08 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) i know that many times the dumper goes running back to the dumpee. in my case it's the reverse.i broke up with him(can check out my breakup thread when u get a chance) . we saw each other a few times after the break up but never reestablished our relationship. i haven't thrown bait out but he still "biting"...what on earth is with him and me. i still have feelings for him but i know that i can't be with him b/c it's too emotionally unhealthy. since i hurt him with the breakup he's been vindictive. then nice to get me back then vindictive out the blue and he even admittied it. i've been NC w/ him since sunday but he has been texting and calling around the clock each day like it's all good but constantly telling me to call him like i didn't hear him the first 5 times...he's said "i'll talk to you when you call me" several times, but he just calls right back w/in minutes. and what gets me the most is that he keeps tryn to flip the script like this NC is about his schedule. the NC is about something dumb he did last weekend...it's like he's totally stupid when i won't answer his calls.he will try so many different things just to get me to answer. i was erasing his message b4 listening at first.perhaps i should just do that again. is there anything "striking" i can say, via text, that will let him know that i am not upset w/him and that his textes and calls alone are not going to make me gt back w/him? that i'm merely giving him the chance to not have to worry about pleasing me...OR does NC say enough all by itself? Edited October 23, 2009 by muse08
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 If this is the 'schizo' guy, normal rules don't apply. People with mental illness don't process interpersonal relationships the same way those not afflicted do. Personally, I would refrain from analyzing his behavior. It just won't end up healthy. Trust me
Author muse08 Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 If this is the 'schizo' guy, normal rules don't apply. People with mental illness don't process interpersonal relationships the same way those not afflicted do. Personally, I would refrain from analyzing his behavior. It just won't end up healthy. Trust me lol...the "schizo" guy. not exactly. his brother is and i was wondering last night how likely it was that he(my ex) could be as well. but i understand where you're coming from. thanks.
PinkToes Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Don't worry about letting him know you're not upset with him. You don't owe him that, and from some of the other stuff you've said about this guy, he's not going to give up easily. Ignore him. And be prepared to block him, if he persists.
PinkToes Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I just read your other thread and this guy really has me concerned. IMO, the best thing is to not engage with him at all. Don't take his calls, don't listen to his messages, don't let him make you feel guilty, and by all means, don't worry about hurting his feelings. His behavior has nothing to do with the pain of being dumped, and everything to do with control. It's no doubt driving him crazy that you have decided you're not going to put up with his drama anymore, and he's gonna fight like hell to keep you around. Don't let him. Please stay strong, and remember why you decided to leave. Your gut instincts were right; he is not good for you, no matter what sort of nonsense he tries to seduce you with now. Stay a step ahead of him in your head. Think about what you will do next if he gets more demanding or erratic. Consider not answering your phone at all if it's a blocked number. Your friends will understand. Please be careful.
Author muse08 Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 I just read your other thread and this guy really has me concerned. IMO, the best thing is to not engage with him at all. Don't take his calls, don't listen to his messages, don't let him make you feel guilty, and by all means, don't worry about hurting his feelings. His behavior has nothing to do with the pain of being dumped, and everything to do with control. It's no doubt driving him crazy that you have decided you're not going to put up with his drama anymore, and he's gonna fight like hell to keep you around. Don't let him. Please stay strong, and remember why you decided to leave. Your gut instincts were right; he is not good for you, no matter what sort of nonsense he tries to seduce you with now. Stay a step ahead of him in your head. Think about what you will do next if he gets more demanding or erratic. Consider not answering your phone at all if it's a blocked number. Your friends will understand. Please be careful. read both your posts.thank you much.you're right...i have to keep remembering why i left him in the first place. additionally i surely don't owe him anything, but when i said that i didn't want him to think i was mad,i just meant that i dont want him to think i'm so mad with him that i'm sitting around preoccupied with thoughts of him and how mad i am.instead i want him to know that i'm trying to move on with my life and that i'm not sitting around thinking about him. (though when he calls it does make me think of him) but...i have not taken his calls or agreed to see him.i have listened to a few messages out of curiousity and a few text messages by mistake. i really tried deleting before reading them. and same regarding the vmail b/c i know that he will try to say something to trigger an emotion in me. so,after 6days(2day) i ended up texting back saying "i am fine and thanks for checking.take care of yourself."he'd been saying he wanted to know if i was ok.i knew it was only a trap,but i responded anyway.i think it will make him ease up.no word from him within the last few hours...rare!he texted saying he was headed to a wedding at 8:45pmthis eve(not sure why he fealt the need to give me that detail,unless to remind me that he proposed to me before and i gave the ring back)...hmmm.anyway,i said."enjoy,take care". he then said the wedding is beautiful and was making him happy and sad.i never responded b/c i didn't wanna know where he was going with that. who knows and i don't wanna care.sad thing is, i kinda do miss him(or the attention until the cycle would start all over again and we'd be right back at this point.)
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