SoConfusledandHurt Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I want to call, text, email SOMETHING! Im not even sure why! I would rather him call me though...as he hasnt really since I left. We have only been no contact for 3 days now. Before that is when I confronted him about joining an adult personals website looking for an attractive well built female for sex at his house on the weekends. Im sure he is completely embarrased about that. Im about to begin dating...and I know there are some really great guys out there. Im not looking for a rebound relationship...just enjoy being single and dating, as its been years since Ive done that. But I know Im going to meet someone that I click with...and then Im dealing with being lonely...Its going to be hard! I feel like because he said we may get back together and things like that...I feel like I want to tell him this fear of mine. Because he has been acting so defeated and Im not sure what the heck to do about that! Anyway, as Ive said...I will probably post here when I want to contact...so thats what Ive done...I just know that I do love him so much and miss him terribly...I just dont know what to do about him...or if I should even worry about him, since I feel he is obviously not worried about me!
Author SoConfusledandHurt Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 What are the stages of a break up again? Im having a very hard time...now I feel like I need to call him and tell him that this is wrong and that we need to be together and that I miss him and love him and want him... Then I say....NO...dont do it! Holy Crap!!!
Author SoConfusledandHurt Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 Well, Im so happy I did not contact him. For some reason it is starting to make me feel better and Im realizing that he is the one losing out. I treated him wonderfullly! I cooked, cleaned, had sex (and loved it), took care of the kids, had fun (he always said I was the fun one)...stayed up late every night to hang out with him...if he doesnt appreciate a woman like that HE is crazy...all I asked him for was to be nicer to us, wtf? His loss!! Another great man's gain. I suppose Ive learned quite a bit about myself in this relationship! Im actually beginning to get very excited at the thought of getting to meet new people and perhaps a new man that will blow my ex out of the water!!! A girl can dream hehehehe!
Ms. Joolie Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) Yay! I'm so happy for you! You know, I can really relate through the emotions that you are going through. In a way, we are in the same place. My situation is different of course but I also felt like I was leaving my "one true"! To be honest, the relationship I've been recovering from has been my first adult love. So it's been very hard to leave it. But, like you now, I know that I've learned a lot from the relationship. Even now, there is someone in my life that there is a real possibility of romance with. It's exciting. I'm a different person now then where I was at when I met my ex, or my first love. (We met three years ago when I was 24.) I look forward to my future, to my life, to everyday! I know who I am, and what I have to offer. I value this love I have, and the love I have to give and share. As far as your ex goes, remember this. If he really wanted you, he would have you, he would do what it takes. Same for my ex. But he has not shown me that he really wants me. (It is my belief that the man must initiate the commitment in a relationship. He must find it in his heart to do so.) I'm going to have a man that really wants me. Duh. Best wishes! Edited October 23, 2009 by Ms. Joolie
Ms. Joolie Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) As far as your ex goes, remember this. If he really wanted you, he would have you, he would do what it takes. Same for my ex. But he has not shown me that he really wants me. (It is my belief that the man must initiate the commitment in a relationship. He must find it in his heart to do so.) I'm such a dork. It's been a long time since I've posted on forums. Please allow me to clarify the above statement. Ugh. Oh well, bear with me as I think things through. I don't mean that by not contacting you your ex doesn't want you. I meant that if your ex, or my ex, does not have what it takes to make the commitment (or communication!) then you are likely better off as is. I did not mean to imply that he "doesn't want you" or that my ex doesn't want me! I know my ex wants me. It's just that he has not had the assurance or the desire or whatever he needs to make a commitment to me. And I'm okay with that. It didn't happen for a reason. That reason could be him, or me, or timing... but it's ok. It didn't happen. My focus now should be not on "what didn't happen" but on the real possibilities of my future, on what I'm going to commit to, and the results that I want to have. There. I hope that's better. So sorry for that 'misspeak.' Edited October 23, 2009 by Ms. Joolie
Author SoConfusledandHurt Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 Joolie, you dont have to apologize about anything...I understood how you meant it. AND your right! The more I see it...that man had it made in the shade with me, he is absolutely nuts for letting me go...
Ms. Joolie Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Oh good. Yes, he was nuts! Thanks for sharing and letting me share with you! It actually inspired me to start my own thread... it's in the coping section. Actually I "broke down and cried" after a week of LoveShack and reflection. Had to let it go. I feel so much, MUCH better after that vent... haha. And so glad you feel better to! Start another thread if you need to!
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