nonphixion Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 ok so here it is, My ex gf dumped me about 2 months ago.we went out for about 2 years..it was rough at first and i really missed her and it took me about a month to get her pretty much out of my head.She got a new BF like 2 weeks after we broke up(which was hell for me) i felt like complete crap.So i just stopped talking to her and went on to date other girls,just dating and 'seeing' not acually getting a new gf.soo i was over her ,yea i thought about her somtimes and missed her a bit but it didnt really affect me cause i was doing my own thing.just recently she messaged me a few times and small talked with me ,so i did and it was no big deal,but a couple days ago she messages me again and says "yea so im pretty much single now" and went on to tell me that her bf cheated on her and that they are done..so of course i was happy in a weird way,and i kinda comforted her about it and told her that shes an amazing girl and that my love is still there for her.so the next day she messages me again and asks me if i wanna hang out,so i said yes.she came over and we had a great time,just like we used to,all the old things that made us laugh and smile came back.we ended up having sex that night and ended the night by saying i love you and she said the same thing back... so now this what im all confused about and dont know what i should do,i love her alot and want to be with her,even after dating multiple girls ,she is the one that shines through... did she come over and sleep with me as a rebound? should i pursuit in getting her back? is she all confused after being dumped that she doesnt know what she wants? did she come to me just to fill a void? does she acually miss me? all this has been running through my head for the past few days,and im going crazy.how can i find these things out and know if i should fight for her or just move on?
BG1985 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 (edited) Just keep doing what you're doing and let her come back to you if she wants. Since she broke this relationship off, she has to be the one to reignite it if it meant to be. Rarely this works out as she actually left you for another guy. I wouldn't expect too much unless she gives you a clear-cut message saying she wants you back. Let me edit this to say that girls are a fickle bunch. You are right to question her motives as this could seriously be nothing more than a rebound or attention seeking from her end. If you try to jump back into the relationship, you will definitely push her away. You HAVE to play it cool with this one if you want ANY chance of getting her back. You should continue to see other girls until she makes you stop so that you can go back to your old relationship with her. Edited October 22, 2009 by BG1985
Author nonphixion Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 i totally agree that i should play it cool.i should lay off the i love yous and i miss you and crap like that for sure...i think if she wants to hang out and stuff ill just keep it real and be casual about the whole thing and not push or talk about being in an acual relationship, as if im just 'seeing' her.which will be tough because when im with her i just feel like shes my gf,you know? or maybe i should give it more time and not hangout with her at all? its a hard call to make ,if you ask me lol
BG1985 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 My most recent ex couldn't make up her mind, and we kept going back and forth. We had this certain comfort zone with each other. I feel like I came on a little too strong at times and it pushed her away. Looking back, I think all it did was speed-up the inevitable final break up. I really think you should be on the lookout for other girls. If she questions you or gets jealous, just tell her that you weren't aware that the two of you were back together and have the talk right there. Don't find other girls for the sake of finding other girls though.
ForRealLoveMe Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I would be weary of her coming back to you after her break up. Why did she break up with you in the first place?
Lauriebell82 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Why did she break up with you in the first place? I would like to know this as well. Honestly, she could just be on the rebound and was feeling vulnerable after having her boyfriend dump her. Or she could be sincere..we don't know. I agree that you should just play it cool. Act almost aloof about it but without playing games with her. You have already told her how you feel so she knows that much. Now it's her turn to decide if she wants you or not. Just try not to act needy and lead your life. If you don't make yourself readily available all the time she might try harder to get you back.
Zoff Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 OMG dude, do not get back with this girl. She dumped you to date other guys and now that didn't work out she's come back to cry on your shoulder. Once you've broken up with someone once, it's highly likely it's going to happen again. Think about it, take her back and she will realise that when she feels like a change she can just dump you and you'll take her back again when she's finished having her fun
BookerT Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I agree with Zoff. Of course since you have feelings for her you naturally want things to work out with her. However, she's using you as back up and the way she's come back to you isn't dependable.
Author nonphixion Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 first off to answer your Q. she said we broke up cause i didnt have my **** together and she needed space for herself etc etc which is bs cause a week later she had a new BF.which was in a worse boat then me,living at his moms,no car and sh*t...I know i was struggling at the time due to a recession and loss of work(im an autobody apprentice) but like ****s picked up since then and im making phat cash now... but anyway i dont know what i just did..i got drunk tonight and watched the hockey game(oilers owned columbus 6-4 btw hahaha) woo! and then i got to talking with the ex,and somehow i have a dinner & drinks date with her tommorow...im not **** faced where i dont know what im doing,its just one thing led to another and somehow were going out tommorow night.i asked her what she wants between us and she said lets be friends with benefits,which is all good for me lol cause pussy with no commitment is all good,but its kinda hard if you love the girl.she told me lets go with the flow and see what happens,so i dunno how i should deal with this? i should problly stay with my keep it cool agenda but i dont know if i can :s
BG1985 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Might as well get the no-strings-attached pussy, that is if you can handle the fact that you love her anyway. Just do whatever you're comfortable with. If you're not terribly interested in being in a relationship right now, take the friends with benefits.
Author nonphixion Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 yeah but the thing is,i would totally get back together in a relationship with her...but i dont think thats what she wants right now,so maybe i have to ride out this casual dating thing and woo her back slowley? i realize its a big risk to take and by reading these forums,most poeple dont get thier exes back.I also dont wanna waste my time and line myself up for rejection...i guess ill just see what happens with her....I hate this mind **** of a situation im in, ugh!
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