meshmatic Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 -My g/f and I are both 23 yrs old. -I noticed that if we don't have sex for a while I start developing aggression/getting annoyed with things easily -We have sex like once every 2 weeks... -Whenever I try to initiate sex (I have been quite creative)... she will either do it out of obligation (ie: she feels forced, and i can tell) or she says she is too tired or doesn't wanna mess up her hair... a lot of the times she says she doesnt want to because she hasn't waxed herself (shes insecure if she is not completely hairless) -She only initiates it once in a blue moon (I counted 4-5 times this past year she did it) From MY personal experience with women... they don't care if they are too tired or if their hair gets messy or if they have a little hair growing back. Thoughts please?
GorillaTheater Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Ah yes, her hair. Thoughts? Get out now. If you're sexually incompatible now, it is very unlikely that the situation will do anything but get worse. She may change temporarily if she wants the relationship to work, but it will only be that. Temporary.
mem11363 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 She is just not that into you physically. This will only get worse - likely much worse. -My g/f and I are both 23 yrs old. -I noticed that if we don't have sex for a while I start developing aggression/getting annoyed with things easily -We have sex like once every 2 weeks... -Whenever I try to initiate sex (I have been quite creative)... she will either do it out of obligation (ie: she feels forced, and i can tell) or she says she is too tired or doesn't wanna mess up her hair... a lot of the times she says she doesnt want to because she hasn't waxed herself (shes insecure if she is not completely hairless) -She only initiates it once in a blue moon (I counted 4-5 times this past year she did it) From MY personal experience with women... they don't care if they are too tired or if their hair gets messy or if they have a little hair growing back. Thoughts please?
Author meshmatic Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 Been together 2 yrs now... well I don't think she isn't physically attracted to me because I box and have a very fit body... no 6 pack... but it's enough for my gf to get mad at me during the summer becuz i go out with a tank top and girls see it... Also, when we do make love... a few times we did it in front of the mirror and she thought we looked very hot... so i dont think its a physical attraction thing? maybe she jus said it to make me feel good?
NowhereToHide Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 It sounds like you are just sexually incompatible. And with all of the things that enter into a marriage (if that's where you're headed) like children and responsibilities, it is only going to get more challenging to have sex regularly. You need to figure out how important this is to you. If it's a dealbreaker, then get out now. -My g/f and I are both 23 yrs old. -I noticed that if we don't have sex for a while I start developing aggression/getting annoyed with things easily -We have sex like once every 2 weeks... -Whenever I try to initiate sex (I have been quite creative)... she will either do it out of obligation (ie: she feels forced, and i can tell) or she says she is too tired or doesn't wanna mess up her hair... a lot of the times she says she doesnt want to because she hasn't waxed herself (shes insecure if she is not completely hairless) -She only initiates it once in a blue moon (I counted 4-5 times this past year she did it) From MY personal experience with women... they don't care if they are too tired or if their hair gets messy or if they have a little hair growing back. Thoughts please?
D-Lish Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 I don't think it's that she's not into you physically- it sounds like she just doesn't enjoy sex. Just so you know, that won't change- problems with sex will get worse. If sex is important to you and it's not important for her- I hate to tell you this, but your relationship is doomed.
Egoolps Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 My advice from experience? You're 23. Leave. Assuming there are no financial obligations yet, this is the time to go...not when you have a house, kids, etc. There are women out there who enjoy sex and who enjoy pleasing their men even when they don't necessarily want sex. Your girlfriend needs a guy who either isn't attracted to her or is saving himself for marriage. You need a girl who is fun. Lose her.
giotto Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 doesn't wanna mess up her hair... Thoughts please? can you just ejaculate somewhere else?
JumpinJimmy Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 At 23 and sex is an issue? Move on. BTW, as far women goes when it comes to initiating sex, watch what you ask for. Traditional male/female roles are based around the men being the pursuers and women being pursued. I actually prefer it this way.With a couple of GF's I've had in the past where the woman is more aggressive I found myself questioning their relationships with other men and realized that I would prefer not to be in LTR with these GF's becasue of the non-stop competing that you have to engage in to keep them happy....just my preference.
mark982 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 she's more consirned about messing up her hair? now that's really using every excuse in the book. 23 years old, you should be like the energizer bunny. what's her next excuse? ingrown toe nail?
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Thoughts please? Relish the fact that you found this out now before she pops out a kid or two. Big world, lots of people. You're young. Enjoy
jmargel Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Next time she uses the 'I don't want to mess up my hair' excuse, grab a handfull of styling gel and throw a glob on her head and mess that sucker up as much as possible. You sure she's not cheating?
mem11363 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 1. She simply may dislike sex - there are women and men who don't like sex. 2. There are many personality factors which affect sexual response. Your personality and hers may not mesh in a way that trips her trigger. You can't change this stuff. Also - any 23 year old woman who thinks that sex once every 2 weeks is ok - is going to be a nightmare as a sexual partner in the long run. Some people just don't think sex matters and if you do care they will tell you that YOU are the one with the problem. Been together 2 yrs now... well I don't think she isn't physically attracted to me because I box and have a very fit body... no 6 pack... but it's enough for my gf to get mad at me during the summer becuz i go out with a tank top and girls see it... Also, when we do make love... a few times we did it in front of the mirror and she thought we looked very hot... so i dont think its a physical attraction thing? maybe she jus said it to make me feel good?
Author meshmatic Posted October 23, 2009 Author Posted October 23, 2009 thank you very much for the thoughts guys, i really appreciate it.
Sparty97 Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Is a couple of times a month ok with you? Guess what, it doesn't matter because it will only get more infrequent as you go along. Marry her and you'll be lucky to get it once every month or two and you'll be spanking it like a 14yo.
frustrated_one Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 As someone who is in a marriage where sex is an issue, get out now. There is NO WAY you should be in a relationship where you are sexually incompatible. I have girl friends in marriages where he wants it but they don't. It WILL NOT get any better - only worse.
journey_fromage Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Have you considered that maybe she isn't enjoying sex? Does she orgasm? Think about this. Do you like clothes shopping with her? Probably not, because it's zero fun for you, boring, etc. Well, think about sex with her, are you getting the only pleasure? Are you making sure she's so deliriously happy she can't even move afterward? Just like you in that store, she's not going to want to be there if she's just your masturbatory glove.
Edward10 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 she doesn't crave you. If she did, she would be happy with sex every day. She sees you more of an attractive roommate. I think you know where this is heading.... By the way, you could be gorgeous. Sexual chemistry is ephemeral, and if she doesn't find you sexually fascinating - don't take it personally. It is just a compatibility issue. Have the confidence that you deserve better.
Recommended Posts