nonphixion Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 ok so here it is, My ex gf dumped me about 2 months ago.we went out for about 2 years..it was rough at first and i really missed her and it took me about a month to get her pretty much out of my head.She got a new BF like 2 weeks after we broke up(which was hell for me) i felt like complete crap.So i just stopped talking to her and went on to date other girls,just dating and 'seeing' not acually getting a new gf.soo i was over her ,yea i thought about her somtimes and missed her a bit but it didnt really affect me cause i was doing my own thing.just recently she messaged me a few times and small talked with me ,so i did and it was no big deal,but a couple days ago she messages me again and says "yea so im pretty much single now" and went on to tell me that her bf cheated on her and that they are done..so of course i was happy in a weird way,and i kinda comforted her about it and told her that shes an amazing girl and that my love is still there for her.so the next day she messages me again and asks me if i wanna hang out,so i said yes.she came over and we had a great time,just like we used to,all the old things that made us laugh and smile came back.we ended up having sex that night and ended the night by saying i love you and she said the same thing back...since then i have been back to where i started after her,i want her back so bad and i miss her like crazy,i cant get her out of my head. so now this what im all confused about and dont know what i should do,i love her alot and want to be with her,even after dating multiple girls ,she is the one that shines through... did she come over and sleep with me as a rebound? should i pursuit in getting her back? is she all confused after being dumped that she doesnt know what she wants? did she come to me just to fill a void? does she acually miss me? all this has been running through my head for the past few days,and im going crazy.how can i find these things out and know if i should fight for her or just move on?
TheLoneSock Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Ok first of all, you have to stop kidding yourself. You dated for two years, continued to talk to her after the breakup, and told her you love her after having sex with her- and we're supposed to believe she was 'out of your head' after a month? C'mon, get real. Once you've sorted yourself with your feelings and stop kidding yourself, you can start the healing process- which involves lots and lots of you time, and the exclusion of her from your life. did she come over and sleep with me as a rebound? No, she probably just wanted to have sex with you, it's normal to still want to be physical with someone you were with for 2 years. You shouldn't have let her in. should i pursuit in getting her back? No, any persuing done by you at this point will only push her away. Focus your energy elsewhere, like on yourself. is she all confused after being dumped that she doesnt know what she wants? Probably, but you trying to decipher all her mixed bull**** isn't going to get you anywhere. Let alone get her back. So, worry about yourself right now, no one else. did she come to me just to fill a void? Probably. That's what girls do, they go back to their exes. You are her ex, she is comfortable with you, and you are convenient for her. That's the only reason she came back, otherwise you'd be together still. Stop letting her use you. does she acually miss me? Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure she misses you in a way, you don't simply turn off feelings for someone you were with for two years. So even if she says she doesn't miss you, she's lying- she does- she just doesn't want to be with you. You can miss something and still not want it back. So her missing you doesn't do jack or **** for you either. Focus on you. Seperate yourself from the whole situation and refocus everything on you, otherwise you'll never get over her ass. If you don't get over her, you'll never get back with her, I guarantee you that. But, once you do get over her, you probably will have wised up and won't want her anymore.
trueblue72ny Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) i am sorry you are going thru this. i hate to give you bad news but you are her back up plan, her safety net, until she meets someone else that she is interested in. and when she does meet someone else, you are history. you can quote me on that. she left you once already. she will do it again. right now, you are just making it easier for her for the next time. because now she knows she can just come back to you when ever she wants with little to no effort on her part. you are boosting her ego. you obviously have strong feelings for her still. she does not for you. otherwise she would not have left you in the first place and been sleeping with another guy. if she loved you and respected you that would not have happened. my suggestion. move on. keep going out with your other girls. and meet someone new that is better for you. i dont believe that you are really happy inside knowing she left you to be with another guy. there are now trust issues. yes she just came to you to fill the void until th next guy asks her out. dont be fooled by it. you dont have to find these things out, she has already demonstrated to you how she feels by sleeping with someone else. move on and save yourself from being dragged thru the mud over and over and over. just my two cents. Edited October 24, 2009 by trueblue72ny
DustySaltus Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 ok so here it is, My ex gf dumped me about 2 months ago.we went out for about 2 years..it was rough at first and i really missed her and it took me about a month to get her pretty much out of my head.She got a new BF like 2 weeks after we broke up(which was hell for me) i felt like complete crap.So i just stopped talking to her and went on to date other girls,just dating and 'seeing' not acually getting a new gf.soo i was over her ,yea i thought about her somtimes and missed her a bit but it didnt really affect me cause i was doing my own thing.just recently she messaged me a few times and small talked with me ,so i did and it was no big deal,but a couple days ago she messages me again and says "yea so im pretty much single now" and went on to tell me that her bf cheated on her and that they are done..so of course i was happy in a weird way,and i kinda comforted her about it and told her that shes an amazing girl and that my love is still there for her.so the next day she messages me again and asks me if i wanna hang out,so i said yes.she came over and we had a great time,just like we used to,all the old things that made us laugh and smile came back.we ended up having sex that night and ended the night by saying i love you and she said the same thing back...since then i have been back to where i started after her,i want her back so bad and i miss her like crazy,i cant get her out of my head. so now this what im all confused about and dont know what i should do,i love her alot and want to be with her,even after dating multiple girls ,she is the one that shines through... did she come over and sleep with me as a rebound? should i pursuit in getting her back? is she all confused after being dumped that she doesnt know what she wants? did she come to me just to fill a void? does she acually miss me? all this has been running through my head for the past few days,and im going crazy.how can i find these things out and know if i should fight for her or just move on? Here's what I think: She was more than likely dealing with this new guy during the last couple of months in your relationship. Maybe she wasn't honest with him, so he turned around and hooked up with someone else. Hey, what goes around comes around right? She is using you because she is lonely. Stay NC with her and let her beg, cry and plead to have you back.....then come back a month from now and tell us how she reacted....good luck.
Author nonphixion Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Big ups on the advice guys...it really made me realize some things,and im gonna be strong and go NC with her again and get through this $hit..
Author nonphixion Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Ok first of all, you have to stop kidding yourself. You dated for two years, continued to talk to her after the breakup, and told her you love her after having sex with her- and we're supposed to believe she was 'out of your head' after a month? C'mon, get real. I had NC with her for 3 weeks after our break up..untill she called me and told me she was pregnant with my kid.(i know sounds crazy) but it was true,i know she was faithful to me.so i kinda had to go throuh this whole pregnancy thing while shes dating a new guy...which was absolutley whack! but long story short,she had an abortion and the guy now left her..and so i am here now.
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