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Charmaine Champagne is back.. I met someone new.. but i'm anxious already

Charmaine_Champagne

By Charmaine_Champagne
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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regulars on here might remember me, my first love of 6 years ended things with me really cruelly back in Feb this year and he continued to completely torment me in the months thereafter (long story- see old threads) i was a mess, the only thing to do was cut him out completely. he continues to attention seek but i am NC now and ignore it all. i'm prob not over him and he really hurt me but i've been out trying to get out with life. However now i have a new dilemma...

 

i met a new guy a couple of weeks ago in a club, he was really good looking and charming. we kissed and he took my number. surprisingly he actually texted me and called alot. he rang me three times the next day. he was always first to txt me and wrote back to my messages straight away. i played it cool but always replied and was friendly

 

anyhow the next week we met up again at the club and kissed, we were both drunk and we touched abit but that was all. no sex or anything. and the next day he rang me like 3 times and sent me loads of texts. and every day since then he texted me and hinted that he'd like to take me out and we were talking back and forth thru texts. all was good. i was starting to get excited and more into him

 

but then today i hear nothing from him, i texted him and sent him a facebook message and so far nothing. its just weird how he was so keen- like almost childishly keen, sooo keen for the past 2 weeks, always making the first move- and then today he ignores me.

 

do u think i should just back off and let him come to me, play it cool? or do u think i should ask him if somethings up? its like at the start i played it cool and didn't really expect to hear from him. then once i really started to fancy and like this guy he backs off. im still not over my ex and still abit low from wat he put me through so i did get abit addicted to this new guys texts everyday plus i really fancied him he was so good looking and exactly my type.

 

i should point out this guy is single but seems to meet girls when he is out alot and he has like 400 friends on his facebook, i thought maybe abit of a player? but then he was so keen texting me all the time i thought he was really in to me. then today he ignores me. now im all anxious.

 

the other night he was talking about meeting up again and 'the next time' and seemed really keen to take me out and i said to him jokingly 'are u actually gonna take me out then or do u say that to all the girls?' and he replied ''ofcourse i am, do u really think id be texting u all this time if i wasn't'' we talked through texts the day after and all was good

 

but then today he doesnt text me or reply to my texts. he goes out alot, to clubs during the week, do u think maybe he has met someone else and she is now flavour of the week?

 

am i being paranoid, what should i do? i really like him. and its not a rebound, im due some luck in love

 

advice please...

Edited by Charmaine_Champagne
GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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I think that perhaps you've fallen a bit fast and hard for this guy, who after all has yet to even ask you out. And perhaps you've let your tendencies toward anxiety to take over. I mean, it's just today that he hasn't responded, right? Maybe he's busy, but whatever the reason that fact alone is nothing to get concerned about, IMO.

 

Tune down the anxiety, take a step back, detach a little, and wait for him to get in touch again.

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Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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just weird cuz he has texted me every day since we met and just 2 days ago talked about meeting up again. but he seems to be out a clubs alot meeting different girls so i duno if when he was out the past few nights there is someone new to text. just weird cuz he was so keen, always initiating contact and replying to me right away. then today he ignores both my messages

 

so i will back off and wait.

 

but what if i dont hear from him again, should i call him out on it and ask what is up? or should i just leave it alone and not contact him again and assume i was just flavour of the week??

GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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but what if i dont hear from him again, should i call him out on it and ask what is up? or should i just leave it alone and not contact him again and assume i was just flavour of the week??

 

I don't see anything wrong with contacting him in about a week or so, but if he doesn't respond, or doesn't respond in a way that you want, I'd feel free to cut off contact. At this point, you two don't owe the other anything beyond basic human decency, emphasis on "basic".

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Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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i know it is very early days but i was really starting to like this guy and looks wise really fancied him. i think i would just find it very odd if i never heard from him again as he was soooo keen and has contacted me every day since we met. i would find it very hard to understand it if he just completely cut me out and stopped contacting me. but i will wait and see... watch this space

 

this anxious feeling in my stomach is awful.. i feel like i've swopped 1 addiction with another (my ex.. to this guy) but this new guy was texting me and calling me multiple times a day and now silence it is weird

 

how can i get rid of anxiety and just play it cool?

Edited by Charmaine_Champagne
GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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Well, in the meantime, get busy with your life. And that includes meeting other guys. Don't put anything on hold while you find out whether this guy is still interested.

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Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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ok day number 2 and my new guy hasn't got in contact today either.. there has been no activity on his facebook or bebo pages either and he is normally on everyday so maybe something has happened or maybe he is busy.. or maybe he is keeping a low profile

 

our last conversation on wednesday we were talking of meeting up again and he was all keen, the last text i sent said 'u'll have to pick me up in town some night soon' he never replied. then yesterday i sent another text saying 'hey how r u 2day?x' and he didn't answer.

 

i think i should prob back off and wait but im tempted to text him and say 'haven't heard from u, is everything ok'

 

i really like this guy and he made such a big effort with me i dunno y he would suddenly just back off. he was the one always initiating contact and calling me. and altho i sent the last 2 msgs in our last conversation he was saying how much he wanted to see me again etc.. just as i was really getting into him and getting abit addicted to hearing from him, he backs off and now i hear nothing still after 2days

 

i guess u will all say to let the weekend go, back off and just see if he contacts me?

 

p.s) this isn't like a rebound thing, i actually like this guy, he is everything i would go for and completely different from my ex. i get alot of attention when im out but never really from guys that i like. so when i met this guy i was really happy and even more surprised when he actually contacted me and rang me and made sooo much effort to stay in touch. i know we've only met twice but just on wednesday there we were talking of meeting again and now nothing from him.. silence.. it's weird. i duno if mayb he has another girl or ex on the scene who knows

 

i know everyone will tell me like gorilla above to wait and see but it is making me so anxious checking my phone.. but if i contact him and say 'hey is everything ok, i havent heard from u' he might think im a bunny boiler.. im worried he is ignoring me to get rid of me cuz he is not interested but how can i know for sure?

Edited by Charmaine_Champagne
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Charmaine_Champagne Established Member

Charmaine_Champagne

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day 3 now and still no word from new guy

 

no activity on his social networking profiles in past 3 days either

 

very strange, up until now he'd bombarded me with 100s of texts and several phone calls, our last convo on Wednesday he hinted at meeting again really soon and all was friendly and he still seemed very keen

 

now nothing, silence. 3 days of silence- thurs, fri and so far today.

 

so unless something awful has happened, im thinking he is just avoiding me and lying low as he has got back with his ex or found a new girl. what u guys think?

 

all my friends say not to contact him and not to ask is something is wrong, to just wait n c if he contacts me

 

i was really starting to like this guy ALOT.. so annoyed.. i still hope he will get in touch and be like ''sorry my phone broke'' or ''i had an accident'' etc.. id rather know than not know.

 

anymore thoughts?

Edited by Charmaine_Champagne
gavinus Established Member

gavinus

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My opinion is its to soon for you to date. Don't contact him, if he really wanted to contact you he would, its that simple. Wait until a week is up then give him a text. Move on, :)

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