McGrupp Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 im not saying everyone does, but i cant really think of a relationship i know of where one partner didnt cheat. im thinking about my boss (left his wife for co-worker), my other co-worker (stayed with wife but made out with another co-worker) grandpa (left wife) countless number of friends and me and my ex who im currently pinning for (she cheated on me and i just recalled one time when i tried to cheat on her). does anyone stay loyal? is anything pure? why does this happen so much? Link to post Share on other sites
Zoff Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Not everyone does, but a very large percentage, maybe even the majority do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McGrupp Posted October 22, 2009 Author Share Posted October 22, 2009 its very disheartening. even the longest relationship i know of amongst my friends is sort of a lie, because the gf hasnt told the bf (of 2+yrs) that she used to date their co-worker. he hangs out with them all the time. why not just tell him? its all lies. i was talking to my mom about this and she like, while i wasnt faithful with your father till i got married!! wtf! i did not need to hear that. also my sister and her bf just broke up cause he cheated. my bust buddy just broke up with his gf cause she caught him cheating. whats going on in the world??? my ex said i could never get over her cheating! well i didnt want to kiss you on our wedding day and know those lips had been curious for someone else. man, whats a romantic to do? Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Not everyone, some do and some don't. Why? I don't know. That's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 The easy answer is no, but most people have/will. Also, most relationships will end at some point, very few last forever. The best mindset is to cherish the good times, and let go of the bad and if you can't do that then stay away from romantic relationships. Cheers, Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Not everyone cheats our family frowns on cheating we think if your not happy work on it or get out.I know of alot of people that have but I also know alot that wont.I have been cheated on along with a couple of others in our family it hurt so bad.To each is own. Link to post Share on other sites
MizzBlue72 Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 no - not everyone cheats. I know people who have been married 40+ years and they have never cheated. I also know people who swing together, as a couple. People may think that swinging is cheating, but some of these couples are happier then a lot of the 'normal' people I have met. They have their sexual needs fulfilled together, and they go home together. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 It happens a lot because monogamy is very, very, VERY difficult. Unless people are truly capable of being non-monogamous (and I think very few really are), being faithful is something we need to do to keep faith with our partner. But it is tough. Monogamy may be a social necessity, but it is not a biological truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 does anyone stay loyal? is anything pure? 100% loyalty right here! why does this happen so much? People just don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
sxyNYCcpl Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Monogamy is a social norm, but not a biological one. Too many people try to pretend to be something they're not. Link to post Share on other sites
BookerT Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) Monogamy is a social norm, but not a biological one. Too many people try to pretend to be something they're not. Yes this is pretty true. Humans aren't designed for monogamy, biologically males are desgined for polygamy, whilst females are designed to pick the most powerful males. They might partner with a weaker male, but could sneak behind his back with a stronger male. Just watch nature programs, it's similar to the mating behaviors of other primates. What's interesting is we do this as a species even when it goes against social conditioning. Nature's programming is just too powerful, only some people are able to beat it. Edited October 23, 2009 by BookerT Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 At some point, a person has to decide what path they want to walk. Personally, I've decided the path with those passing lanes for the powerful-male chasing females is the one I want to walk, so they can get by me undisturbed. No touching When I was younger, I kept trying to interrupt them as they blew on by, saying, hey, I'm a monogamous, decent, hard working guy, but found this approach to be impotent. I then tried a bit of cheating on to see what the 'other side' is like. Too much drama for me, though the women came a runnin'. The end result was I didn't like me, so I think I'd rather die alone and be satisfied with the life I've led. This same philosophy could be applied to many other 'gray' areas of life. The more powerful men I know, the more I see this truth. Acceptance. YMMV.... Link to post Share on other sites
sxyNYCcpl Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 The thing is, though, it's not just a choice between monogamy and cheating. I watched a news puff piece the other day about sports celebrities, and the focus was about sexual scandals. You know the drill, some famous athlete or announcer or whatever gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar, then there's the big apology, etc, etc. Think Kobe Bryant. The question was why does this continue to happen over and over and over again. The answer is simple. The majority of those guys do not want to be monogamous, and because of their status as sports superstars, they have access to more tail then they could handle even if they tried. So they do what comes natural to them, and every once in a while, one of them gets caught in a very spectacular, public fashion. What I do not understand is why they don't simply tell their SO's at the beginning of the relationship, "Look, I do not desire monogamy, I will not be monogamous, and if you can't handle that then perhaps we aren't a good fit for each other." OTOH, maybe a good number of them do exactly that, otherwise I suspect we'd see even higher numbers of public floggings. Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Yes this is pretty true. Humans aren't designed for monogamy, biologically males are desgined for polygamy, whilst females are designed to pick the most powerful males. They might partner with a weaker male, but could sneak behind his back with a stronger male. Just watch nature programs, it's similar to the mating behaviors of other primates. What's interesting is we do this as a species even when it goes against social conditioning. Nature's programming is just too powerful, only some people are able to beat it. I totally agree with the fact that monogamy is learned, and in some situations, forced and/or unnatural behavior, and really, it's kind of illogical at heart. However, I don't really buy into the "fundamentally we're exactly like animals" explanation. I don't think that most instances of cheating, especially among people older than, say, 25 (and honestly I don't understand how people younger than this age can sustain in a serious relationship), are driven simply by the instant gratification of screwing someone else or other "animalistic" behavior. Moreso cheating is to fill emotional voids or a need for affection/acceptance - things are are decidedly human. It's very psychological. I think that people would still "emotionally" cheat in relationships in which they are permitted physical infidelity in many cases. Link to post Share on other sites
Brady_to_Moss Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Almost everyone i know has cheated in college. No one is faithfull. You have to realize most people cheat. It sucks but you have to expect it so you don't get hurt. Reason 43 of 158 why i will not date at age 20. Link to post Share on other sites
smarterthanbefore Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) I have been in two long term relationships in my life. One 5 years, my current 3 years. I never had a problem with monagamy. I have been tested on this as well. I am human, so of course I find other males attractive. I am also a highly sexual woman. I don't put myself in situations where I will be tempted. No one on one time with any male other than my mate or a family member, no personal relationships with male workmates. I do not drink when my partner is not with me. We have access to every thing the other has, E-mail, phone bills , ect. I look at these threads, and all I see over and over again is how people put themselves in these positions. Going to lunch one on one with members of the opposite sex and not exercising self control. It's quiet pathetic. I am human, i realize this and i also understand my weaknesses as a human. That is why I don't put myself in positions like this. Monogamy can be easy to do, if you really want to do it. If you find someone sexually attractive, you cannot be thier friend while in a relationship, it is as simple as that. Friends don't see each other in a sexual way. Also, when me and my SO are having problems, I work even harder at keeping these rules. I made sure the person I am with also believe in the same level of protection for a relationship. My last boyfriend cheated on me, I simply left him without a second thought. It was painful, but I do not tolerate cheating. I also insist on an transparent relationship. If my partner does not agree with a transparent relationship, i do not force them, i simply find a new partner. My theory is , if there is nothing to hide, then why can't i see your e-mail,ect. I also have no problem giving access to all of my stuff. All he has to do is ask and he can look. Monogamy is not that hard, it is just that people are very selfish, and put their carnal desires above all, including the person they claim to love. Simple and plain. God blessed us with common sense and self control. We should use it. Common sense is that if you hang out with someone else of the opposite sex, share enough personal stuff and listen to each other, a bond will form that can lead to a romantic relationship. That is fine if you both are single, but if you or the other person are committed, common sense say don't become close friends with someone of the opposite sex. Do not keep in touch with ex's unless you have kids with them. What is the point. They will only complicate future relationships, they are an ex for a reason. If you have kids with them, you should only discuss the kids if you are in a new relationship. I could not tell you where none of my exes are or what they are doing, nor do I care. Affairs start from lack of the use of common sense and self control. If you and your mate are having problems, why would make that worse by bringing in a third party ( the affair partner )? I don't get why people don't understand that you must end one relationship before you start another. I also don't get why people fall so easily for temptation. I work with a lot of goodlooking doctors. I get hit on by some of them as well. I have even stated that if i were single,and did not work with them, i would love to date a few of them. But you know what I did when one particular doc I felt an attraction for hit on me. I declined him, and asked my supervisor to switch my schedule so that I did not work with him. Simple as that. I did not feed the attraction, so it did not grow. Whenever I have to talk to him about work, and he ask a personal question, I always bring up my boyfriend so he is always on my mind. For example, he asked me to lunch the other day, and I told him that I will be calling my boyfriend on my lunch hour and declined. It was that simple. We have a responsibility to protect our relationships from outside sources destroying it. In-laws, friend and affairs can kill the bond between two people if the two do not work every day to protect it. You also have to treat each other well and communicate. Monogamy is not a curse, and it is quite easy to do. You just have to love your partner enough to do it. As well as love yourself. Edited October 24, 2009 by smarterthanbefore Link to post Share on other sites
NewSmyrnaBeach Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I have always been of the mindset that cheating is too much trouble. If you like someone, stay with them. If they stop doing it for you then move on. It keeps the conscience clear and will save you a lot of worrying. Some people are just greedy/selfish although they don't ever want to see it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
trueblue72ny Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 i agree lots of people have. i dont think they set out to do it. it just happens. but i know there are people out there who do not because i am one of them. i have never, ever, ever, ever cheated on one of my girls. even tho i have been cheated on. i will not do it just because i feel better knowing i can sleep at night. i still like having sex with my girl even years into the relationship. im just one of those guys that is happy getting some : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Fractal Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 im not saying everyone does, but i cant really think of a relationship i know of where one partner didnt cheat. im thinking about my boss (left his wife for co-worker), my other co-worker (stayed with wife but made out with another co-worker) grandpa (left wife) countless number of friends and me and my ex who im currently pinning for (she cheated on me and i just recalled one time when i tried to cheat on her). does anyone stay loyal? is anything pure? why does this happen so much? Latest two studies indicate about 50% of men have cheated on a gf or a wife and about 50% of women have cheated on a bf or a husband. It's believed that it use to only be 17% to 33% of women had ever cheated but they've caught up with men nowadays. This doesn't mean that the 50% cheated on every SO they ever had, as in many instances it was a one time occurance at some point in their life. Of course there are some men and women who are prone to cheat. If everyone who had ever thought about cheating crossed the line and did so I bet it would be 75% or more. Some just don't do it physically even though mentally they already have. Link to post Share on other sites
bubuvietnam Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) I am always honest and never cheat anybody in my life. But I was cheated on by a bad French man, 56 year old from Rochester NY. He is CEO of a company and he is well educated man. He holds a master's degree in business administration from the University of Rochester's William E. Simon Graduate School of Business Administration (N.Y., USA). But he had no charactor. He is a cheater and liar. He flew from US to Vietnam just to cheat. It seems that everybody cheat and a lot. I hate liar and cheater and I do believe who cheats on his or her family will never find the true love and never feel peace of his/her soul. Please be an Honest person and never ever cheat. Edited October 30, 2009 by bubuvietnam Link to post Share on other sites
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