someguyonthenet Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Hi everyone, First off i would like to thank you guys for taking a moment and reading, not only my story but everyone else's. Before i start, i wish to let you guys know that even tho i realize how stories are a matter or perception and can be biased, i do have that rationality in me [. Now, time for my spill: Ill start out with the relationship itself but i will summarize because i know how easily i can begin to describe everything. I met this girl when i was done with my parying days(meaning i was ready to find something serious), she filled some of the qualites i desired, and figured the rest are a matter of compromise. I had already considered her my gf in my eyes the day i told her i love her, but she did not, and i caught her dancing with some random guy at a club one day and blew up. That night she blew up my phone, saying im sorry, i love u , i hate u ...etc, all my friends told me to forget her, and it is not a commendable quality and its down right wrong. i couldnt not talk to her so the next day i agreed to talk with her. and i still loved her so much that i decided to officially make her my gf and she promised to do everything she possibly can. things went on great and what have u for a while until about 8-9 month mark, she gave me a call out of the blue and said she cant do it and it feels like shes on tin ice and broke it off, i blew up saying is there someone else, how is this to deal with something, etc im sure u can fill it in(i tend to be able to win an argument usually). we were broken up for a bit (about a month) and we got back together, things went on good, i gave her more freedom we were still fully in love. Although as things progressed to about the 1 1/2 year mark i started to feel that she was neglecting my feelings and wishes. i always told her i cant stand her going to a club without me ( shed gone maybe 5-7 times during our relationship), and i dont want her to hang out with some of her guy friends(because i knew they liked her, she wouldnt hang out with them on a normal basis; i just didnt want her to see them period or at least not without me.) now when the time had come when i seriously felt neglected i argued and told her, and i put the ball in her court to fix or whatever, now mind u i have been the one to go back to her for her break up, i am usually the one to say sorry(even tho it wasnt much my fault) because i feel as if the effort is what keeps the love going. so as she had the opp. to fix the problem she chose not to, and did as she pleased. so we had a relaxed convo about 3 weeks after our semi-breakup and she told me that she has to focus her energy and time to work and school(which i think is the nicest way of saying i dont want u) now the part i need help with: I truley loved this girl with every ounce of my heart, i loved her "un-conditionaly" and its been about over a month and week or so..it feels wrong for me to find someone else but i do know this wasnt my doing or let alone my turn to fix. my ego is very hurt, because i did truly try with everthing i had, and was convinced i would marry this girl(which i had told her). i never cheated on her or anything like that, so i feel as if i tried this hard and it didnt work (makes me feel very low). Although i dont have any doubt's with myself and am super happy with what i have done and who i am, i must admit im very sad. i check up on her on facebook, and cant help to think she will talk to someone or possibly has already. i know i must move on but im so hurt, that no offense i resulted in writing here. i know my story is bi-ast, and i know she was a good girl, even tho she did not so-good things. but i am torn apart, and i find myself crying at times and just so hurt. im terrified of the day when i hear a story of her and another guy. i know i should stop checking her facebook(because were friends on it). im stuck in this half-life. thank you guys, anything you guys can offer i geniunely appreciate!
Recommended Posts