startingover56 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I am looking to start over and I just want to say a few things from the one who wants out. I have been married almost 30 years. We have 2 grown boys and I actually divorced him 3 years ago. I re-married him so he would have medical insurance. There has been no love between us for a very long time and I think it all stems back to 20 something years ago when I found out he was cheating on me. I don't think I ever got over it. We gradually grew apart and, of course, he blames me. I am not saying I am an angel, but when there is nothing left, why hang on. I am now in a predicament because we are going to sell the house and go our separate ways but I feel like I can't divorce him because of the medical insurance. I've agreed to not divorce him because of it (he has medical issues), but how can I "date" anyone. Who is going to go out w/me if I am still legally married. I wouldn't want to date anyone who was still married. Any advise, opinions are welcome and thanks for reading this.
whattodonow12 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 He could always elect COBRA insurance if you are in the U.S. If you thought about it, you could come up with dozens of reasons to not divorce. I am going through something similar so I understand.
Author startingover56 Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Yes, he could, it's just so expensive. I definitely want a divorce, I guess maybe he will have to figure something out regarding the insurance. I just feel like such a bad person to take him off my insurance.
sfveggie Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 my husband is going to divorce me. i lose my insurance and the house we bought 10 years ago. he will force a sale and i can't afford it on my own. even with roommates and excellent credit, i won't be approved to take over the loan. says he still loves me and wants to be friends but needs to be free of all responsibility and not need to compromise or be there for anyone. just wants to be alone. no kids, thank goodness. definitely hear ya about the medical insurance issue. my husband doesn't give a crap if i'm left without it. he expects me to split the house 50/50 and lose my medical and not ask for alimony. i make 40k as a teacher. he makes 130k as a software engineer... oy.
delajoonal Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 startingover.... you can always just file for a Legal Separation... same as divorce BUT your H will get to keep his medical, you stated he has medical issues?, so this will keep him covered... google Legal Separation...its just like a divorce...except mentally you will know you are still legally married...if that part bothers you then maybe NOT a good idea...i am just thinking, because i am in the same situation as your H, that Legal Sep would be great for keeping medical..right now anyway...then when he gets better, you can file for divorce straight across, cause most of the work would have already been done with the Legal Separation. if you divorce, your H might be able to get you to pay for his COBRA for his current medical care? so i would check into that too? the courts award alimony, medical, etc. to men almost as much as they do to women. and because your H DOES HAVE a current medical problem/issues, the courts will NOT make him switch out health care in the middle of his current treatment... so, i would do some homework first and/or get legal advice (hire an attorney), cause like i said, you might be more responsible then you think finacially? good luck and keep us posted;)
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