Madandsad Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I am an ass. She was a cheater. After she cheated on me I lost trust and became towards the end of the relationship...angry and I would try to keep her home with me and the 3 kids especially when I was working. I said alot of things out of anger that I didnt mean and for some reason when I wanted attention from her I would push her away or say i was leaving...kind of reverse psychology. 9 years together and I got mad and broke up with her 2 1/2 months ago. She changed after that. Shes 23 and she started doing drugs and hanging around 15 year olds driving around until 4 or 5 am and social services took the kids and gave them to me. Shes been hanging with other guys constantly. At first when I asked her if we could get back together she said i dont know which turned into maybe which turned into soon, very soon. Then she said when we go on our annual trip which she agreed to go on. It didnt happen she did have sex with me but it was like she wasnt there when we did. She was texting another guy the whole time. Now shes back to saying i dont know. Social services has set up counselling 3 sessions for herself for the kids and then i go too. Now shes saying maybe counselling will help us feel better... When we got back from our trip she left her facebook up and in the sent messages was to one of the guys she hangs with "hey baby i miss you". How can she move on...looks like she has and i hanging on for nothing. We are still living in the same house with the kids and she has to be suervised with the kids. she says shes not going to kick me out and i can always stay here but wtf? That obviously isnt going to work...is she over me because i am messed up. im thinking of joining a support group and going to a counsellor on my own... Once in awhile she hugs me when i leave but she is lying through her teeth about anything going on with this manwho is 20 and shes 23. And the funny thing is i know its going on for sure. he sleeps on the couch sometimes and she tries to make it seem like theyre not doing anything by sleeping on a mattress on the floor...i asked her if she wanted me to sleep beside her with him there and she said "you can if you want to". Their facebook messages between eachother are hurtful to me. she says so happy hoping you call thinking of you. his are i see the hurt in your eyes and deep down i know you care about me and i want to be the man who can change that... HELP
Author Madandsad Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Im realizing begging for her back and letting her get away with everything isnt helping...begging makes me look pathetic even to myself. But if i stop talking to her or mentioning anything about us will she think i DONT care? Other than the one begging for someone back is the other party (HER) over me or do you think alot crosses her mind as well is she gonna hate me and never have feelings for me anymore? I kept texting and texting with no answer for her to come sleep beside me last week and finally said ok you just dont love me anymore i have to move on and she then came to bed...its messed. last night I just slept on the couch without asking her to come to bed for once and she said why are you sleeping on the couch you never wanted to before. Then she slept seperatly without wanting to go to bed with me as i expected but i didnt say anything. So confused and lonely...
McGrupp Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 the fact that your asking "if you even want her back" means you probably dont deep inside. what you miss is the friendship and the sex. she obviously does these things for attention and to make you upset. ignore the **** out of her and think about getting your children out of this toxic situation. you still love her and maybe she will come back but i would focus on my children if i were you. this whole situation cant be good for their psyche. and why do u let another male sleep in your house?
Author Madandsad Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 by saying do i want her back...i do i do i love her but she is so cold right now and i tell myself not to talk to beg to her and she keeps saying "we'll see" and stuff but it always ends up a no i meant should i try should i stop. she says she loves me she has 3 children with me and weve been together for 9 years but says i hurt her and she dont trust me...i never hit her or anything just said alot of hurtful things that i didnt mean because i was jealous she cheated on me a couple times. i dunno what to do if i tell her someone cant stay here she gets mad...she wont admit anything shes doing and im at a loss. why cant she just tell me ill never get her back that would be better than giving me false hope. She said i took you back before after a 4 day break up last year and i didnt change which i think 4 days wouldnt change someone anyway. when i said and now its too late where she replied i never said it was too late and she mentioned the counselling but i think shes buying time to be with that other guy...hes a mechanic and she always wanted TO BE a mechanic so they have that in common. i dunno what to do. what will get to her to make me see if she truly cares? how can i do the no contact thing if we live in the house and neither of us have any other place to go and the kids are here...she said shed never kick me out...what do i do?
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