ctwatlanta Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 This may sound odd coming from a guy but it's currently happening to me and I'm caught off guard to be quite honest. I met this woman 4+ months ago online. We both travel extensively for work and have had a really hard time meeting due to our schedules. However, we always kept in touch via email, phone. We finally got our opportunity to meet about 6 wks ago and it went fantastic. There was a lot of flirting and hand holding. In fact, she was much more aggressive than I was. We ended the night with a very passionate kiss and promised to see each other again asap. She asked if I could meet her again for the following weekend but then she got sick with the flu and had to cancel, which is understood. We finally went out again after our first date about 3 wks ago and had a blast. (I'm here seeking advice so I'll be completely honest...we had sex that night. Mind you, we've been talking and getting to know each other over the course of several months now but we did only have 2 actual dates before we became intimate.) That said she asked if we could see each other again the following weekend so we made plans again for the following weekend...and then of course I came down with the flu the night before and had to cancel on her. However, since our last date when we were intimate she would send me daily msg's telling me she missed me and couldn't wait to see me again, etc. So, we made plans again for this past weekend but she had to fly out of town for work and had to cancel. She told me she would be back in town this week and that she would talk to me soon. Since she had to cancel last week for work I've not heard a single word from her. I've sent her a couple of msg's asking when she would be back in town and if we could get together again when she returned. I'm really bugged by this lack of response. I see she's on Facebook all the time updating and posting; however, I've heard absolutely nothing from her. We went from a passionate night and a great second date with her sending me daily msg's afterwards telling me she missed me to zilch. I've read a lot of advice columns that say if you've reached out to someone and they don't respond then they're no longer interested and that you shouldn't reach out again. I feel like a whimp and sucker if I reach out to her for a third time... Thoughts....suggestions? Thx in advance!
MrFun Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 To be brutally honest, maybe the sex wasn't the best. But to be really honest, it doesn't sound like you've captured her heart. It's all too quick, too soon (and I do NOT mean the sex). For reading your post, I almost think I know you already. I'm going to get stoned for this, maybe, but I think getting into a relationship is like a game of tennis. You initiate, she puts in an effort, you reciprocate. Once someone doesn't play the ball back, you back off until they do. If they never do, find someone else. It's a game of sorts and women LOVE it as long as it's moving forward in their direction. Let her come to YOU, it's her job to want to bind herself to a great guy. If she's not doing it....next. Remember: take the lead, but she has to work 50% of the time.
MrFun Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Since she had to cancel last week for work I've not heard a single word from her. After re-reading your post. Go find someone else. If she doesn't want to lose you, she'd move her arse.
Author ctwatlanta Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 Hey MrFun. Thanks and I knew someone would give me the "maybe the sex wasn't that good" comment. LOL If that were true then she wouldn't have asked me to spend Sunday with her...have sex again and then ask to meet the following weekend...while in between sending me txt msg's telling me how great the sex was and that she couldn't wait to see me again. So, I'm not trying to sound like I'm some sex God because I'm far from it but it must have been at least decent! Nonetheless, I think you make a great point. Maybe I didn't capture her heart and after the drinks we had she was just into the sex and intimacy and it's now out of sight out of mind. It's just odd to me because men don't usually encounter this...it's typically women claiming that they've been used by a guy for sex. So, I guess what you're suggesting though is that I've now officially put in enough effort after reaching out to her twice with no response...and that I should move on and not reach out again? Thanks agian.
Author ctwatlanta Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 After re-reading your post. Go find someone else. If she doesn't want to lose you, she'd move her arse. Nevermind my other msg. I agree with you. If someone wants you enough they'll put the effort into not losing you...and she's done nothing. Thanks for the tough love response.
MrFun Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Glad to help. I wish I could get rid of the "tough love" tag though hehe BTW, the comment about the "sex wasn't that good", doesn't mean you're not good at it. Women are sometimes bored or have nothing going on atm and they'd rather have it than not have it (just like us guys). Just find another options. If she's into you, she'll nag you to be exclusive. Until that day comes along...
sumdude Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Chances are she has other irons in the fire and another one just got hot. Move on and keep looking, she may come back for some more fun in the future or not.
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