D-D Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I've been dating someone for a month now (both in our 20's). Nothing serious or anything, but I think that we are both only seeing each other right now. We've had about 5-6 dates together. We always have a good time together, no matter what we are doing. The dates have always ended with a nice kiss and hug. We usually talk a few times a week and she seems interested. I have always been the one to set something up, or the one who calls following a date. She has only once returned a phone call after I left a voicemail message. Sometimes I have called and left a message, and she sends an e-mail back instead. I had tried to see her on the weekend but she was too busy and couldn't find the time. I called her over the weekend and she had kind of initiated the set up a quick date meet for us early in the week instead. This is the first sort of interest I have seen from her. Should I be worried that after a month, she is never the one to call me or initiate a date? Is she just shy maybe? It would be really exciting for me if she just called, even to say "hi" if nothing else. Is this a sign of disinterest or is she just shy and is still expecting the guy to do all the work?
lucy9216 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I think it is still too early to tell, if you two have a good time together and enjoy eachothers company then just keep going with that. After a few months and you still feel like she does not make any effort it would be worth mentioning. She could just have an old fashioned mind set and expect the man to do all of the work.
Author D-D Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 She expressed from the beginning that she wanted to take things slow. I don't want to push too hard too fast for a relationship. After all, it's only been a month, so we are still getting to know each other. Is she waiting on me to make it official?
BG1985 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 There could be a few things at play here. One thing is you can never expect a girl to make plans for the two of you. It is our job as men to make the plans. I'm not necessarily saying that she's disinterested, but she's definitely not crazy for you by any means. I'm suspecting that neither of you have established exclusivity, so she has other guys she's still seeing. I believe you should take her out one night and see whether she wants to make it "exclusive" or "official." If she says no, then you can move on without any harm of foul. You can even thank her for being honest and not dragging you along.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 She has only once returned a phone call after I left a voicemail message. Sometimes I have called and left a message, and she sends an e-mail back instead. This part would concern me. I never call a guy or initiate a date in the first few months, and rarely after that. Even though I am perfectly capable of initiating, I think everything works better when the dude initiates and the gal warmly accepts. But if she's not even returning your phone calls? That's just rude. Also, if after a month she can't find time for you on the weekend -- PROVIDED you invite her out enough in advance; i.e., more than a few days -- that's not a great sign, either.
Author D-D Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 She was legitimately busy on the weekend. I usually call when she is free and I know she will be home, and she usually answers. I asked a few dates ago whether or not she was seeing anyone. We both said we weren't, but I didn't push it farther than that. I took her to be truthful.
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