SummerLady Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 My girlfriend has been dating her SO for about 18 months. She called me upset yesterday as her SO said to her that he loved her for her not her looks that in the past he put too much emphasis on looks. Now my girlfriend is very attractive I am not saying this as a good friend, any guy on here would find her very pretty and she has a nice body. She questioned him and he said he found her very attractive but her personality was the main thing. I am personally fine with this but she is VERY upset. Am I missing something or does she have a right to be upset here. I think she may be over thinking this one. Thoughts....
627 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 what does SO mean? anyway, maybe when he said that he likes her for her personnality rather than looks she understood it as "you're not too pretty, but you have a great personnality" it depends what her female brain heard just my opinion
Johnny M Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 My girlfriend has been dating her SO for about 18 months. She called me upset yesterday as her SO said to her that he loved her for her not her looks that in the past he put too much emphasis on looks. Now my girlfriend is very attractive I am not saying this as a good friend, any guy on here would find her very pretty and she has a nice body. She questioned him and he said he found her very attractive but her personality was the main thing. I am personally fine with this but she is VERY upset. Am I missing something or does she have a right to be upset here. I think she may be over thinking this one. Thoughts.... What he said could have meant two different things: 1) he loves her because she's more than a pretty face or 2) he loves her despite her looks (meaning that she's not that good-looking, in his view anyway, but a great person...)
melodymatters Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Hahahaha ! This one happened to me years ago ! My now ex was a musician who had always dated very attratibe woman, but that was also the MAIN reason he dated them. When we met, I was as attractive, but was also a business owner and a mom so he fell in love with the whole package. The PROBLEM was that guys can say the STUPIDEST things ! He said things like : I love you, I don't care what you look like. ( which sounds like he's forgiving my humped back or something) There were more that I forget now, and I too was hurt and felt like it was a very left handed compliment. If your friends BF is that kind of passive aggressive guy who TRIES to keep her from feeling confident, RUN ! If he is just a typically clueless guy, I would just explain how the comment could be misunderstood ( and therefore be hurtful) to him, and then drop it.
JohnP82 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Yeah I don't know how I would react if someone I was dating said that to me.....thanks I guess??? I suppose that when you're looking for the whole package some areas take hits while others are pushed up. Still I think people are shallow and egos take a hit when you say things like that.
Author SummerLady Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 Hahahaha ! This one happened to me years ago ! My now ex was a musician who had always dated very attratibe woman, but that was also the MAIN reason he dated them. When we met, I was as attractive, but was also a business owner and a mom so he fell in love with the whole package. The PROBLEM was that guys can say the STUPIDEST things ! He said things like : I love you, I don't care what you look like. ( which sounds like he's forgiving my humped back or something) There were more that I forget now, and I too was hurt and felt like it was a very left handed compliment. If your friends BF is that kind of passive aggressive guy who TRIES to keep her from feeling confident, RUN ! If he is just a typically clueless guy, I would just explain how the comment could be misunderstood ( and therefore be hurtful) to him, and then drop it. He is not passive agressive I think, I say its close to what you expereinced, the whole package. Plus my friend again is pretty, hands down. I vote for dropping it......
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