SoulSearch_CO Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I get hit on occasionally but usually only when I am wearing something that reveals my features. No, I'm not talking bout hot pants, either. Maybe if I walked around only wearing a jock strap I'd get hit on more. Even then, probably by more gay men than women. Hah. Um, yes. Is that really the kind of attention you want? LOL
tigressA Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I do think I am attractive and I have been told I'm attractive by a lot of people, but I hardly if ever get hit on. I don't frequent places where it would be more likely for that to happen, like bars/clubs, etc, so that is most likely why. Your surroundings do have a lot to do with it. The last time I went to a club I did get hit on by a guy who was kind of cute but turned out to be a total creeper who tried to dance all up on me when I was with my friends. Ick.
littlewhiterose Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 If she's beautiful.. then I would believe she gets hit on a lot... I agree. You'd get hit on a lot BUT to say 'all day everyday' is an exaggeration I wouldn't take too seriously. Kind of like what you say when you're starving and you eat your favorite food "OMG, this is so good I could eat it everyday!" C'mon. We all know that's not true...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I do think I am attractive Well, you'll draw no argument from me.
gypsy_nicky Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 (edited) this attractiveness thing is way too hard to generalize. If say your a 5-7 in looks, you will get hit on by males in that same category or less. If your a 7-8 same thing (but you will be admired by those in the lower echelons and that's why you see a lot of 7-8's with average looking-high average looking dudes, oh same also goes for the 5-7's). You have to look at the men who want to be with you. If most of your admirers are 5's chances are your in the same category or slightly above6 or 6.5. 9-10, this is where the intimidation factor comes in that's why we hear extremely attractive women are rarely hit on. Also, men with status (wealth or looks) are more daring to venture into this territory. I think the best indicator of how good you really look is gauging the 'flirty stares' people give you when your out in public. If you 'pull' the majority of the population from the attractiveness ladder (from 1 to 9), then your definitely a looker. If however you only target a certain group within the scale chances are your average to high average. Edited October 22, 2009 by gypsy_nicky
espec10001 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 It all depends on what the other person finds attractive. My taste in women is very different than my friends. The type of girl that I find insanely attractive they don't like at all. I am white and have blue eyes and I'm always more attracted to darker features like brown/black eyes and black hair and darker skin. A lot of my Irish family has married into Mexican/Puerto Rican/Spanish families and I find myself naturally drawn to this type of girl for whatever reason. Yet ask my friends how attractive Hispanic women are to them and they would never hit on one because it's not their type. So really attractiveness is subjective. Maybe it's really a matter of opposites attract
shadowplay Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I'm not sure how attractive I am now, but I definitely once was very attractive. Got told regularly that I was by both men and women, but I was almost never hit on. Just going about my daily life no guys ever approached me. It was totally different in bars, where I was approached pretty often. There are definitely women who claim they're hit on all the time. I don't really get it because I almost never see men hitting on strange women in non-alcoholic situations. I think a lot of women exaggerate in order to make themseleves look better.
CaliGuy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Um, yes. Is that really the kind of attention you want? LOL No but it does tell me both sexes think I'm attractive, lol. I mean, I don't have a hard time getting dates. I have a hard time finding someone that really puts my motor into overtime. Only three women have ever done that to me that I have had significant relationships with. The others who have done that were married or in a committed relationship.
Author MissJoness Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Miss Joness youre gettiing down to a size 4? How tall are you? i'm 5'8 in height
Author MissJoness Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 If you go to bars/clubs and don't get hit on or approached, then it means you're not that pretty?
CaliGuy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 If you go to bars/clubs and don't get hit on or approached, then it means you're not that pretty? No, could be a bar full of weenie/pansy guys who fear rejection. My thought is why are you doing this? What's the motivation to get hit on? Are you seeking validation that you're sexy?! Let me tell you something. You can be hot as hell but if YOU don't think your sexy, no one else will. You see what I am saying?
Author MissJoness Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 No, could be a bar full of weenie/pansy guys who fear rejection. My thought is why are you doing this? What's the motivation to get hit on? Are you seeking validation that you're sexy?! Let me tell you something. You can be hot as hell but if YOU don't think your sexy, no one else will. You see what I am saying? Yes. That's why I don't go looking for guys with other women. No matter how homely my friend is, the guy always looks at me then strikes up a conversation with my friend. Even if I'm w/ my mom, they talk to my mom instead
donnamaybe Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 No matter how homely my friend is, the guy always looks at me then strikes up a conversation with my friend. Even if I'm w/ my mom, they talk to my mom instead That's because you are SO wrapped up in superficial stuff that you don't bother to be interesting. If you cared about the INSIDE of you (as well as the inside of THEM) you would be more interesting to talk to.
CaliGuy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Yes. That's why I don't go looking for guys with other women. No matter how homely my friend is, the guy always looks at me then strikes up a conversation with my friend. Even if I'm w/ my mom, they talk to my mom instead They are intimidated by you is my guess, especially if you are 5'8" tall. Most men average 5'6-6' so if you look them eye to eye they might be a little scared. Not me. The taller the better
CaliGuy Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 That's because you are SO wrapped up in superficial stuff that you don't bother to be interesting. If you cared about the INSIDE of you (as well as the inside of THEM) you would be more interesting to talk to. That may or may not be true. If this happens often maybe she just wants to know why? I don't see the harm with improving your appearance if YOU (and ONLY you) think you need it. Of course, I could be wrong and she may have insecurity issues.
donnamaybe Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Of course, I could be wrong and she may have insecurity issues. Go back and read the rest of the threads.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 No but it does tell me both sexes think I'm attractive, lol. LOL...that means something, I suppose. I mean, I don't have a hard time getting dates. I have a hard time finding someone that really puts my motor into overtime. Only three women have ever done that to me that I have had significant relationships with. The others who have done that were married or in a committed relationship. Ha. Join the club. I've only been in ONE of those relationships where we really "clicked." Go back and read the rest of the threads. Yep. Not only does she judge herself harshly, she judges guys harshly. Could be that she's glaring down guys that are her height or shorter...based on her posts about "short" guys.
Phateless Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Yes. That's why I don't go looking for guys with other women. No matter how homely my friend is, the guy always looks at me then strikes up a conversation with my friend. Even if I'm w/ my mom, they talk to my mom instead I sense there's more to this story than just a simple question of whether or not you are pretty. Can you fill us in on the background? I would also be curious to see a pic so we can evaluate what might be preventing guys from approaching you. Are you looking or a relationship, a hookup, or just trying to meet people in general? I used to think I was ugly, when I was first dumped by my ex a few years ago. I went on hotornot to figure out if it was true, and as I improved my appearance and updated pictures, got contacts, went to the gym, etc, I saw my ratings go from a 6 to an eventual 9. As superficial as that sounds, finally having an answer to that question really helped. I thought, "Ok, I guess I'm NOT ugly. That means it's up to me." Once I accepted that looks weren't the issue, I wasn't so insecure about it and worked on the rest of my life. That's what made the big difference in terms of attracting people.
AD1980 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 As superficial as that sounds, finally having an answer to that question really helped. I thought, "Ok, I guess I'm NOT ugly. That means it's up to me." Once I accepted that looks weren't the issue, I wasn't so insecure about it and worked on the rest of my life. That's what made the big difference in terms of attracting people. Well the key was you were actually attractive..If your nto its pretty tough out there to find dates
stepka Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 i'm 5'8 in height You are plenty thin and I hope you don't make the size 4. Your weight is not keeping you from getting dates. My question is, how outgoing are you? Are you quite shy? Reserved? People who are very attractive and reserved will probably be hit on way less often than someone much less attractive but more outgoing b/c they will be seen as arrogant. Sad but true. People will assume that anyone that beautiful will surely know that they are and feel superior. I have a friend and I've been told that she and I are of about equal attractiveness, but men always try to talk to her and not as much to me, but that's because she is very lively and outgoing, and I've been told by those who don't like me that I come off as snotty, though I'm really just shy. The men who seem to be attracted to me also tend to be shy, so you can see that there might be a problem. Also, I've known quite a few very beautiful women who didn't think they were even remotely attractive, b/c they are quiet and people are afraid to approach them. Nowadays, I'm not as shy as I used to be and I'm much less insecure, and find that more men are attracted to me now than were when I was 30 years younger, but by no means am I hit on all the time--but then I think that would get annoying. And AD1980--most of us are not ugly. 90% of people fall within an average range, and very, very few are really attractive or really ugly. Especially if all other things were equal like things you can control, such as weight and health. But, I'd say most important is how you feel about yourself. I'd go for an ugly guy if he felt good about himself and we had a lot in common and we could sit up and talk all night about interesting things. I wouldn't even care if he was short. I once knew a short man with Billy Bob teeth who got plenty of attractive dates b/c he had such a great personality. I was married at the time so I didn't date him but some of my friends did.
Isolde Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 (edited) I look fine, especially if I dress nicely and wear makeup/hair down, but I ONLY get hit on in bars and clubs. I really think there is a certain personality that goes along with being hit on often... it is difficult to describe. And while I wish people would approach me for conversation more often, being hit on is usually awkward, while just approaching someone normally isn't. Edited October 23, 2009 by Isolde
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