millyness Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I've been w/ my current bf for about 11 months on/off. The relationship is good, but the only prob is that his mom doesn't seem to like me very much. (She is Viet, by the way). I mean, I have to talk to her once in a while to make sure that I clear up any misconceptions she has and I ask her how she feels about me. It's so annoying that I have to do this! I try very hard to be a good guest in her house and help her when she needs, while also being cheerful whenever I see her. I also bring food over for her and try to cook little things for her, too. The thing that really bugs me is that it's been so long and yet she still has not warmed up to me. Like there's something she's not telling me. Also, I feel like my bf is partly to blame. I feel like whenever I talk to her, she will complain that he didn't do this or that or when he was doing hw and I called, he stopped right afterwards (it was a Harry Potter book, btw!) Sometimes it's so hard, cuz she really gets on him about school. Like, she said that she'll completely stop bothering him about everything once he gets his Bachelors (in about 2 years). The thing is, he doesn't exactly have the best GPA at school and she constantly rags on him about it. Whenever I come over he says that he's done it but apparently he hasn't. I feel like its my personal responsibility to help him w/ school. Or else she'll think I'm just a distraction- which I hate! Because I don't always know if my bf is telling the truth about his hw. I don't know what to do. It's so hard, because I constantly feel pressure from her (even though it's indirect) to make sure that my bf is getting his **** together, because if I don't I usually am blamed. She sees me as his role model or example. She says that if I do something good like hw then he will copy me. Also, she doesn't want us having fun unless its the weekends. Here's my predicament- should I keep going on like this, trying to get her to like me? I think I want her to like me so bad is because she expects to live her son and his wife when she can't live on her own. And I know that unless we're cool with eachother, it'll be pretty bad...especially if I end up being his wife. But then again, I'm only 17, should I be worried about this? Should I be trying so hard for this guy? Or should I break it up and just wait til later and explore more of my life before settling down for a long-term relationship. The reason i like him so much is because (except for when I'm angry lol) we mesh REALLY well.
Author millyness Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. ON the one hand, he's great but he does have some things I don't like but could put up w/ or accept. On the other hand, I'm so stressed from trying to please his mom and get her to actually like me, while also keeping him in check. But it bothers me cuz he should be doing that himself!
TaraMaiden Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 You teach people how to treat you. If you don't like what's happening, stop complaining, and change it. There's always two directions you can walk in. Towards, or away from. So, how's it working for you? Up to you.....
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