Agoraphobianebula Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I've been with my boyfriend going on 3 years now, we lived together for a year. Sex was ofcourse hot and frequent when we first met and we only saw each other a few times a week. Since we've moved in together, things have dropped off a bit to like 2 or 3 times a week, which I don't think is bad. We have never gone a whole week without sex except during my periods, and that's because it grosses him out. Anyway, he makes comments sometimes on how the sex is not enough and he would like to have it more. He doesn't really nag me with it but he lets it slip now and then. So I resolved a few weeks ago to ramp up the ol' sex machine. I promised myself that I'll have sex with him everyday for a month. I didn't tell him this however. I just started thinking about it one day wondering why we don't have more sex, sex feels good right? and I read somewhere that if you don't use it, you lose it, I'm a 30year old childless healthy woman, there is no reason why I can't have sex everyday. So I resolved to myself that I'll start on a quest, sex, once a day for 30 days, to see if I can really do it. We've been at it for 3 weeks now, and I must say it actually feels quite good. Last night, we finished and he dropped the whole "sex is getting repetitive" talk on me. I was like WTF? This coming from someone who complained about lack of sex, now he's getting it everyday and it's becoming repetitive???. I'm sorry if I can't exactly have chandelier swinging sex at 11pm at night when I have work in the morning. Our sex sessions is not a porn video, but I also think it's far from boring. So I wasn't quite sure what he meant by repetitive? Have I created a frankenstein monster here? Raised his expectations a bit too much? How do you go about having "non repetitive" sex?
Bleeve Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Quality over quantity Maybe just ask him what you can do to spice things up and also tell him what he can do. 2-4 times a week of great sex is better then 7 times of regular sex
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 He seems very passive aggressive and like he expects you to take responsibility for everything concerning your sex life. Instead of "dropping hints" that there wasn't enough sex before, he should have just come to you and talked to you about it. And now, that it's too "repetitive" for him, he should be taking the initiative to suggesting new ideas or introducing new positions or whatever it is that he wants. I would calmly sit him down, tell him you are open (if you are, that is) to trying some new things if he feels the sex is getting boring, but also ask him to please respect that you have made an effort to give him what he wants. I say put the ball in his court. Since you've made the effort to improve upon the "not enough sex" complaint, this issue is his to tackle. Ask him what it is that he really wants to try, and if it's within reason, ask him to initiate it during the next bedroom session. If it's just new positions or a bit of light role playing then no biggie right? If he wants orgies with the neighbours, well, maybe it's time to have a more serious chat.
Zoff Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I've been with my boyfriend going on 3 years now, we lived together for a year. Sex was ofcourse hot and frequent when we first met and we only saw each other a few times a week. Since we've moved in together, things have dropped off a bit to like 2 or 3 times a week, which I don't think is bad. We have never gone a whole week without sex except during my periods, and that's because it grosses him out. Anyway, he makes comments sometimes on how the sex is not enough and he would like to have it more. He doesn't really nag me with it but he lets it slip now and then. So I resolved a few weeks ago to ramp up the ol' sex machine. I promised myself that I'll have sex with him everyday for a month. I didn't tell him this however. I just started thinking about it one day wondering why we don't have more sex, sex feels good right? and I read somewhere that if you don't use it, you lose it, I'm a 30year old childless healthy woman, there is no reason why I can't have sex everyday. So I resolved to myself that I'll start on a quest, sex, once a day for 30 days, to see if I can really do it. We've been at it for 3 weeks now, and I must say it actually feels quite good. Last night, we finished and he dropped the whole "sex is getting repetitive" talk on me. I was like WTF? This coming from someone who complained about lack of sex, now he's getting it everyday and it's becoming repetitive???. I'm sorry if I can't exactly have chandelier swinging sex at 11pm at night when I have work in the morning. Our sex sessions is not a porn video, but I also think it's far from boring. So I wasn't quite sure what he meant by repetitive? Have I created a frankenstein monster here? Raised his expectations a bit too much? How do you go about having "non repetitive" sex? To me it seems to be purely psychological, and not due to the sex itself. Like anything, if you're 'forced' to do it repeatedly, it loses it's shine because instead of being something you want to do, it becomes a chore which must be done. Your bf is a lucky guy that he has a gf who is willing to go out of her way to make him happy.
Author Agoraphobianebula Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 To me it seems to be purely psychological, and not due to the sex itself. Like anything, if you're 'forced' to do it repeatedly, it loses it's shine because instead of being something you want to do, it becomes a chore which must be done. Your bf is a lucky guy that he has a gf who is willing to go out of her way to make him happy. Thank you! that was my point before I started the so called experiment. I wonder if he could really handle it. Wanting more sex is one thing but how many guys can really handle more sex? I do enjoy the act so I don't force myself to do it. We didn't do it as frequently before because it's not always on the forefront of my mind. I'm a woman, I have more estrogen than testosterone, sex is not something I constantly crave or think about. I told him after the conversation yesterday that if he wants "spicier" sex, then he needs to come up with spicy and plausible ideas. So we resolved to bring one new act to our intimacy per week. But now, unfortunately I think the daily sex "experiment" will have to end. Too much of anything is not good. He appreciated sex more when he it wasn't presented on a platter to him.
alphamale Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Our sex sessions is not a porn video, but I also think it's far from boring. So I wasn't quite sure what he meant by repetitive? I think he's hinting that he wants go try other things like anal and facials and maybe having sex in other locations. Stuff like that.
BookerT Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Stick a nut up his ass when he's sleeping. Then unleased your new pet hamster......
Zoff Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Thank you! that was my point before I started the so called experiment. I wonder if he could really handle it. Wanting more sex is one thing but how many guys can really handle more sex? I do enjoy the act so I don't force myself to do it. We didn't do it as frequently before because it's not always on the forefront of my mind. I'm a woman, I have more estrogen than testosterone, sex is not something I constantly crave or think about. I told him after the conversation yesterday that if he wants "spicier" sex, then he needs to come up with spicy and plausible ideas. So we resolved to bring one new act to our intimacy per week. But now, unfortunately I think the daily sex "experiment" will have to end. Too much of anything is not good. He appreciated sex more when he it wasn't presented on a platter to him. Some guys just don't appreciate what they have.
UbiJW Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Honestly it sounds like your man is bored. Men are biologically programmed to pursue women. I like being in a long term relantionship and I'm not out pursueing conquests but I mean come on. If my girlfriend made me have sex everyday it would become like a chore even as good as that sounds. I want to woo her, I want to get her in the mood. Being jumped on occasionally is hot especally when you've had some drinks or whatever but your man wants to pursue you even if he complains about it. IMHO anyway.
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