MarkTwain86 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 (edited) This is how it all started: It's been a year later since finding out long time girlfriend from our high school years cheated on me with a friend. That hurt me more than anything because she was basically the only best friend I ever had. We used to be friends as kids (we were 8 back then). I was then in our freshman year of high school that we decided to transform it into an exclusive relationship. We were each others first and only one. In our end of our high school year we drifted to different college but still kept in contact by the phone or online. Everything was ok until I would hear rumors on facebook that she cheated with a college guy. Since back then the only way was by the phone, I confronted her. Needless to say she admitted that she had a one night stand with a college dude. I was devasted that day. This happened just the starting of Oct. 2008. So I didn't know how to react in that moment. And what about all those moments from when we were kids, high school sweethearts, our very first experience. I'm still with her working it out and it's been getting stronger and better now but she doesn't know one thing. last month, I had oral sex with a married woman (I was going on countless dates with her to the movies and cafe before it happened). Now the husband recently found out and this is likely to get exposed, I don't know (I gotten nasty messages from him on facebook and one time he called on my cell phone). So as you can see I went from a BS to a WS and OM at the same time. I want nothing to do with the MW. Can I just forget this ever happened and work on the relationship with gf without getting found out??? Edited October 21, 2009 by MarkTwain86
Jada Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Yeah there's a slim chance that you can get away with it but you'll be left in a state of stress until this blows over. Or you could come clean and tell your girlfriend, it's up to you what you do. It's in your hands, the husband is going to expose you without a doubt so that leaves you with damage control. I'm not one to throw stones at people at times, and I can see the predicament your in. The other worry you have is if the husband get's a hold of you, but you can see why he will so I guess it's just the consequences of your actions. So I'd be praying that it doesn't turn into a fist fight and brusies.
seibert253 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 A wise man once said; "don't let your d#ck run your life" Oh so true. The little head never takes into consideration the long term effects of 5 minutes of pleasure. Well, you're learning an important life lesson here. Actions have consequences. You have to live with the consequences of your actions. I'm not gonna brow beat you about how stupid you've been. I'm sure you already realize this. Now what, well you've tried dishonesty, look where that's landed you. Let's try this, how about being honest. Can't be any worse than where you are now. Another wise man once said, "don't cover it (bad news) up, get it out early". What that means is beat the OW's husband to the punch. Be the one to tell your girlfriend, don't let her find out from someone else, (cause she WILL eventually find out). If you tell your GF you get a chance to show your sorrow and remorse about being so dumb. And, it shows you are now going to be honest and upfront with her. Yea your GF is gonna be pizzed and hurt, but later she'll actually have some respect for you being honest. But she may still kick you to the curb. (Actions have consequences) I would also avoid the OW's husband like the plague. Hospital bills can be expensive. (Actions have consequences) Sometimes the right things aren't popular and they can be painful. It's easier to ignore the 500lb gorilla and hope he goes away, but most of the time he doesn't. Important life lesson here; stay away from someone elses woman, be honest with those you love, and ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. No one said life is easy. Peace,
Author MarkTwain86 Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Sometimes the right things aren't popular and they can be painful. It's easier to ignore the 500lb gorilla and hope he goes away, but most of the time he doesn't.Actually I'm not scared of getting into a fight with her husband. I have had 4 fights in my life and not once did I lost to the other dude (I know some self-defense methods). If the husband were to come and punch me, I'll sock him 100 times harder. When I fight I don't stop till the other dude is either begging for mercy or getting beaten badly to the point of his face getting swollen and disfigured with blood. Alarming would be if he were one of those psychos showing up with a gun on my house. Then yes, that would be so unexpected. All he does is wasting time writing crap on my facebook. That I don't get. Why would he want to vent it out on me where he should be fixing this with his wife? It's not like I'm going to give him any answers nor offer my apologies. I don't even know him nor like him.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Actually I'm not scared of getting into a fight with her husband. I have had 4 fights in my life and not once did I lost to the other dude (I know some self-defense methods). and if he gets you in a lateral vascular neck restraint in a reverse mount position....what then? If the husband were to come and punch me, I'll sock him 100 times harder. 100 times?? Holy sh#t!!!!!! Is that even possible?? I know...your skin must turn green and you black out for a while, right? I mentioned the word "puffery" in the political thread....I think I can use it here too;) That I don't get. Why would he want to vent it out on me where he should be fixing this with his wife? It's not like I'm going to give him any answers nor offer my apologies. I don't even know him nor like him. well gee, aren't you just an all around great guy. promoting yourself to be this big tough guy, and not giving a crap about anyone based on the idea of not knowing them. That and revenge cheating. what a catch.
AAlike Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Hmmm...this is a weird one. First of all, I'm guessing that you guys are still college age? Me personally, I've never understood how people can (or would want to) sustain an LDR with their highschool sweetheart while in colllege...the combination of the newfound freedom and opportunity with how much you change as a person internally - I mean I didn't even keep most of my friends from highschool, let alone a serious GF. should she have cheated on you? of course not, she should have had the decency to break up with you or at least suggest a hiatus in your relationship before being with another guy, but it's hardly uncommon for someone to make a monumental change in personality once they get to college and feel like they've outgrown their relationship or changed too much for it. Now as far as your escapade - the thing that really jumps out at me is that you went on "countless dates" with this married woman. Although I understand an eye for an eye (even though it never really works out that way), and obviously cheating is cheating, this seems quite a bit different than a collegiate one-night stand - a very commonplace, albeit very wrong, short-term mistake. but to be regularly dating a married woman while in a relationship, that just seems a lot more devious to me and not necessarily what I would seek out for "revenge." I mean, what was your motive for dating this woman? In any case, it seems as if you guys are falling into that trap that happens a lot with young people - you like the stability and consistency of the long term relationship, but still want the freedom to date other people. There is one way that you can achieve that - friendship. Seriously - it seems like you guys should probably agree to be non-exclusive or platonic for a while and get this crap out of your system and see what happens.
seibert253 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Mike Tyson was also was also confident he could lick anyone, till he met Buster Douglass. Besides, a gun or knife completely changes the situation. If the OW's husband truly knows what he's doing, you'll disappear never to be heard from again, and they'll never find your body. You've got alot to learn my friend. Take this for what it's worth, a teachable moment. Lesson; don't screw around with married women.
Angel1111 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 You and your gf got involved with one another way too young. I know that a lot of people get this warm, fuzzy feeling about high school sweetheart relationships but I'm not one of them. Neither of you have given yourselves a chance to experience other relationships, or life in general. I think you need to tell her what you did and the two of you need to go your separate ways for awhile. You may come back together at some point in time down the road but you will never maintain a lasting relationship if you continue to try hanging on to one another. That's what all this cheating is about. You just need time to yourselves to live your lives unfettered. If it's meant to be, you'll get back together when you've both grown up.
Angel1111 Posted October 23, 2009 Posted October 23, 2009 Actually I'm not scared of getting into a fight with her husband. I have had 4 fights in my life and not once did I lost to the other dude (I know some self-defense methods). If the husband were to come and punch me, I'll sock him 100 times harder. When I fight I don't stop till the other dude is either begging for mercy or getting beaten badly to the point of his face getting swollen and disfigured with blood. Alarming would be if he were one of those psychos showing up with a gun on my house. Then yes, that would be so unexpected. All he does is wasting time writing crap on my facebook. That I don't get. Why would he want to vent it out on me where he should be fixing this with his wife? It's not like I'm going to give him any answers nor offer my apologies. I don't even know him nor like him. He's not really concerned about whether you know or like him. What he's concerned about is that you screwed around with his wife and he is so emotionally destroyed by that he wants to lash out at anyone he can. He figures if it hadn't been for you, this wouldn't have happened. He's wondering what kind of guy would step into another's man's territory like that. He's not rational and, therefore, he isn't going to do anything that's reasonable until he cools off - which might take awhile. I'm not sure why on earth you invited him on facebook but you need to make your facebook profile 'not public' - if it's not already - and remove him as a 'friend', because he is most assuredly not one by any stretch of the imagination.
rose333 Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 If she's going to find out, things will go much better if she finds out from you. Don't use the whole you-cheated-on-me-first card. First of all, it was a one night stand in her case. In yours, you were dating this woman (a married woman nonetheless) on the side. It will most likely piss her off if you try to make the two sound equal. Instead, let her bring that up (or just think it). If you are sincere in your apology and she truly loves you, the two of you will be able to work through it. Why did you cheat in the first place? Whatever the reason, you also need to address that because it will not just go away, and you will be tempted to cheat again for the very same reason.
road Posted October 26, 2009 Posted October 26, 2009 marktwain Are you also a writer off fiction? You bang another mans WW. Why can't you understand why he's mad at you? Why can't you understand that he may take revenge on?
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