JakeR Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 (edited) My Girlfriend told me we need to take a break last sunday. She has ditched me for her new friend and even left her friend of 5 years just because this person has more pot than her. I personally don't have a problem with pot, I just dont like it when you become a "pothead". When all that you think about is pot, and that is what she has become. She hangs out with her and has changed alot since the first day I met her. I realize people change and I can expect it at her age of only 16. But she told me we need to take a break to see if I am really the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with. I just feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest stomped on, spit on, and pissed on. Not to get into detail but I was the one to take her virginity and I feel this is a stunt to try and see if she can find someone better. A relationship takes work. Without work what are you ever going to achieve? She tells me that it is a possiblity that in the future we may get back together if she finds out that she does love me. I just feel like I am in a really dark place right now that is not good for me. Another excuse she is using is; when we were having our problems and trying to work things out, I said I would kill myself if she ever left me. I didnt mean it of course in the literal meaning of ending my life, only figurativly in the sense that I would rather be dead than be without her. My love for her will never go away, ever. I will always love her and if she treated me like trash 5 years from and asked me to come back? The truth of it is I would do it in a heartbeat because I KNOW this is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. She said it was a beak and not really a breakup. She claims she just needs figure out if she really loves me and know that i am the one she wants to be with for the rest of her life. She also says that I need to become more independant. I need some help with that one, I dont know what I can do. I will admit she has become my everything as is in a realtionship and it hurts, but I am not completely reliant on her. I do stuff on my own I just dont wanna see her with another guy or girl ever. I would want to tear there head off and it wouldn't be the right thing to do. Seeing that would tear my world aprat all over again. The only thing I cant understand is why this is all hapenning, things seemed to be going really good. By the way her parents like(d) me and we never had any problems, she also is 16 and I turned 19 last sept. When I met her she was 15 and I was 18. Someone pleeeease help. I also proposed to her a couple of weeks ago and she said yes and was soo happy, why did she do this? Jake. Edited October 21, 2009 by JakeR
hellothar Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 (edited) First off I am sorry for your pain. Second it is very unhealthy to make one person your be all and end all. You need to have a lot of hobbies, go out with friends, do stuff on your own.. etc. for a relationship to really work. If not she may see you as very needy and that can be quite an unattractive trait to some people. She is a 16 year old girl who has not matured enough. She doesn't know what she wants in life yet at this point and seems to want to live like a teenager... which is to have fun. Sounds like she wanted a boyfriend and you've become very needy. She wants to be able to have fun on her own (reminder she is only 16) and have some life experiences. She has dated a few people maybe? At age 16 she can't be expected to commit to someone for her entire life when she doesn't even know who she is yet. She doesn't know what she wants yet, she hasn't had enough experience to make that decision. And with the "I'm going to kill myself" and an engagement ring you are putting a ton of pressure on her. It's not an excuse that she says your statement was a problem, it really is a problem. No one wants to be in a relationship where they fear their partner will be hurt to the point of physical harm if anything bad happens. And sure she took the ring, she is a little girl (I don't care how mature you think she is) who probably had dreams about being engaged and went crazy when it happened. Hell a few years ago she was still watching it in Disney movies. Now I'm sorry for being so blunt but you need to give her some space. She didn't say it was over forever and just needs a break. You need to take this break and reevaluate yourself, make sure you understand the age she is at and her complete lack of life experience, and if things start back up again to take them slow and let her control the pace more. You may be ready to say forever but she is not ready to make that commitment. Pressing the issue is only going to cause more problems and could make her decide that things will never get better between the two of you. I wish you the best. Edited October 21, 2009 by hellothar
Author JakeR Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 I understand it just really sucks. She was forced to grow up a little quicker than she would have wanted to and is now just wanting to be a kid. I will admit it was my mistake for saying I would killl myself. I am trying to just give her some time and space but I cry for hours ever night and cry myself to sleep. To me it is like a involuntary response, i cant prevent myself from crying no matter how hard I try, I would do so many things differently and I have told her we can take it slow. I just love this girl and BECAUSE I love her I will respect her dicision and give her some space and time. What can I do to help prove to her i am independant besides giving her space?
Recommended Posts