adam79 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 This story might sound a little bit crazy, but I feel I need to share it with someone because what has happened is killing me. About a year and a half ago I was a regular at a bar, a nice Thai girl worked there and I don't know what it was about her but she looked like the most lovable girl I have ever seen. I used to chat with her, give her loads of tips, and then one night I was a little bit drunk and finally got the courage to ask her out. She didn't say yes or no, she just said "Go home you have had too much to drink" I felt really embarrassed so I left and didn't come back to the bar for 3 or 4 months. I finally decideed to go back because this girl was always on my mind and I desperately wanted to see her again, I went back and she was happy to see me. She approached me and said "I haven't see you for a while were have you been" I told her that I was on holiday so I didn't seem like a shy loser and she appeared to be very flirtatious. There was another girl who worked there who didn't like me, and from what I could see she was trying to hook up the Thai girl with one of her friends. She used to give me filthy looks when she saw me talking to her, eventually I asked her out again. I had to work myself into a state like those karate guys who break the bricks but I didn't quite get the response I wanted, she said she had a boyfriend and it turns out it was the other girls friend who asked her out and she said yes. I can understand why she said yes to this guy, he's amazingly handsome a kind of Brad Pitt type looking character. I'm not the best looking guy on earth, I am balding, I tend to over drink at times which I'll be the first to admit is unattractive to most females but I like to think I'm not a totally rotten person. Nevertheless I was gutted, I never felt this way before and something came over me. I started balling my eyes out in the middle of a crowded bar, I'd never dreamed of doing this in a million years. I was just so overwhelmed, she felt sorry for me and started buying me drinks every night I came up. One night I was extremely drunk and I knew she was concerned about me walking home by myself, so she offered to take me home. My house is a 2 minute walk from the bar, when we got to the front of my building I said "Please can you just give me one hug?" she said no and I said "But I love you" and she had a look of shock in her eyes and responded with "Why do you love me?" I poured my heart out to her, I said "You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, you're cute, adorable, caring and generous, you have a good heart and I am madly in love with you" she had a look on her face that told me that these were some of the sweetest words any guy has ever said to her, she said "Are you for real?" and I said "I can't see the point in living without you, if I lost you I'd consider killing myself" at the time I felt like I really meant it. This girl was incredible and I knew that if I lost her she couldn't be replaced. She leaped at me and gave me a big hug, I started running my fingers through her hair and touching her in a suggestive way. She looked up at me and I tried to kiss her, she said no but I put my hand on her face and said "Hey......look at me, I love you" next thing I know we are linking tongues and kissing like I have never kissed before in my entire life. Earlier that night she mixed me a shot and I said "It tastes like ****" she laughed her head off, after kissing for several minutes she laughed and said "Tastes like ****" we both had a good laugh and kept kissing. Then she told me she had to go back to the bar, I said "Hey lets go out tomorrow" she said maybe and I said I love you, she said I love you too back and forth several times, she walked across the street and I yelled out to her and said it again in a loud voice and blew her a kiss. She had a huge smile on her face and said I love you too and walked away. It was like a fairy tale, I couldn't believe it happened. But this is where it gets bad, I went back a couple of days later when I knew she was working. I went to the bar and ordered a drink and said, "Hey you still wanna go out?" she said "No I have a boyfriend remember" I froze! I said "But what about the other night when we kissed? you said you love me" she then said "No that never happened, you were drunk how would you remember?" needless to say I was absolutely mortified. I kept asking her but she kept denying it ever happened, she kept saying things like "Only my boyfriend is allowed to do that" oh I couldn't believe it. I ended up getting into an argument with her, I called her a liar and said "You must be a slut" after that the girl I mentioned previously who hooked her up with this "Boyfriend" of hers told me to leave and never come back because I wasn't welcome. I was completely shattered, I cried relentlessly for days on end. Eventually I just couldn't handle it, I wrote her a nice letter apologizing and wrote how much I loved her. I gave it to one of the doorman of the bar and asked him to give it to her, I wrote my number down on the letter and asked her to call me. Next thing you know I get a text saying "Thanks for your letter, but I need you to prove you love me, give $200 to one of the doorman and you can come and see me" OMG I couldn't get over it. The text was specific as to which doorman, and I knew something was fishy because everytime I tried to call her there was no answer. Eventually I got through and a man answered, I said "who's this where's Amp the Thai girl?" the man hung up on me, so I took the money up and gave it to a different doorman and he came back out and gave it back to me and said "she doesn't wanna see you mate just go home" at that stage my guts was in a knot. For the next week I couldn't eat, or sleep. I kept thinking, what happened? why would they do this? eventually I decided to go back and confront the doorman who she said in the text to give the money to and ask him what happened. When I asked him he got the girl I mentioned previously to come out, turns out she got my number off the Thai girl and gave it to the doorman and asked him to text me and pose as Amp the Thai girl. I asked her why she did it and she said "Because she fell in love with you, and I don't believe that you really love her and I wanted you to prove it" Turns out the Thai girl didn't really like or love the guy she hooked her up with and it simply wasn't working, and she made a decision to stay with me. This other girl (Jackie her name is) couldn't handle it, she was resentful because she didn't like me and she couldn't stand the idea or Amp going out with me. So she went out of her way to make things difficult for us, Amp really wanted to let me come back to the bar and keep on seeing me all the time and the other girl ruined it. Now Amp is a very shy and vulnerable girl, and I always noticed that the other girl Jackie was very overbearing and manipulated and lorded it over her, plus Jackie is the manager of the bar so she felt she had the authority to do such things. I was furious, I was so angry I said "How dare you do such a thing, this is none of your business it's between me and her" her attitude was "Well I'm making it my business I don't wanna see her get hurt" I felt the real truth is she was angry because Amp wanted me and not the guy she wanted to hook her up with. I was so angry I got into an argument with them, I ended up having a massive fight with the doorman and the police ended up coming. Funny thing was I was the one they arrested and took away, I was in such a rage the police had to pin me down and cuff me. No charges were laid so I was lucky in that respect, the police just took me home and told me to stay away from that bar. I couldn't believe it, I was so depressed I went for days without eating. I stayed at home every night of the week and drank myself to sleep and have done so for nearly a year, I had a huge nervous breakdown and lost my job. I moved out of my apartment and am now living with my mother, I am unemployed, I have tried dropping notes off for Amp but she never responded. I was admitted to hospital because I went berserk and flew into a rage and smashed all my personal belongings, it's been just over a year since it happened and I can't stop thinking about it. I just cannot understand how people could be so cruel and manipulative, this girl Jackie obviously doesn't care about anyone but herself. Plus the doorman obviously doesn't care either, what I cannot understand is that girl Jackie is married. I can't help but think how she would feel if someone interfered with her marriage and broke it up in such a way. I feel resentful, bitter, I have put on 20 kilos, I am drinking huge amounts of alcohol on a daily basis. Some days I wake up and I don't want to get out of bed and face the world, I sleep for 18 hours a day sometimes and the remaining time I am drinking heavily. I have been drinking the minute I crawl out of bed, plus I have given up finding another job. In the last year I have applied for 100s of jobs with no luck, my Country has bad unemployment right now and it's getting worse. What can I do? I have thought so many times maybe suicide is the answer, but I don't have the courage to do it plus I keep living in hope that somehow things will get better. I am finding it hard moving past the resentful feelings, the fact that the people who tore us apart will more than likely have no guilty concise whatsoever. Plus I have tried going to the entrance to the bar and asking the doorman if she wants to talk but he told me she doesn't wanna talk to me, it's obvious that she had no trouble getting over me. I keep thinking that she didn't fall as deeply in love with me as I did with her, either that or she feels ashamed of what happened and feels guilty and can't face me. There's so many questions I would kill to get answered but I can't, and it plays on my mind everyday. Any help is appreciated, thanks for listening.
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