getbackwithex Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I dumped her almost two years ago. I wanted her back and confessed my love for her, she said no. That was a year ago. I did the stupid thing and tried to remain in her life as a friend thinking it would lead to something more again (we also worked together at the time, so it was kinda necessary I guess??). Big mistake. It only prolonged the healing process. We talked sometimes, mostly me reaching out to her, but she made contact too. Five months ago I started to distance myself and felt I've moved on with my life. Deleted here contact info, all that stuff. I've focused on bettering myself and have been really happy. Up until now I didn't think I would ever see or talk to her again, but today I hear from a friend that she is going to be at a charity event my friend is organizing. It's a small thing and I know I'm going to have to see and talk to her. I wanted to tell my friend that she cannot be part of this, but she needs the help. Knowing that I will see her in a few weeks has got me thinking about her again. I think I still love her. I thought those feelings were gone for good, but I can't seem to shake them!!!! I'm curious to know if any of you have been in a similar situation and how you handled it. Is this just a brief relapse?? Are these feelings real? I'm in a good place right now, but hearing her name again has gotten my heart and my mind racing....
Thebob Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 ignore her at the event unless she talks to you but if she does keep the contact short and to the point. You need to do NC and get her out of your life man. You are to hung up on this girl. It obviously wasn't meant to be cause she said she doesn't love you back. Thebob
Soul Bear Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Shouldn't have let go in the first place. If you did truly love her romantically, you wouldn't have left. Sounds like she really HAS moved on from you and didn't hang about like you thought she might?....there is nothing you can do but move on, and learn what you truly want out of a relationship and a partner. Good Luck
Soul Bear Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 It obviously wasn't meant to be cause she said she doesn't love you back. Thebob OP, when you think about that for a second, that's what she had to go through a few years ago..the thought of not ever getting you back and it was never meant to be. She had no choice but to move on. Same goes for you. Your banner might be shredded, but walk on.
Author getbackwithex Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 Shouldn't have let go in the first place. If you did truly love her romantically, you wouldn't have left. Obviously....I only let go because she moved into the same department at our company and because of my position it could get me or the company into a sticky situation. So I called it off because I did not 'love' her right then, but I did care for her. I never expected her to hang around for me, but seeing her everyday made me fall in love with her even though we weren't together. I'm just a little scared that if I go to this event and see her it's going to put feelings I've worked really hard to get rid of back on my mind and I DO NOT want them back. I'm hoping that tomorrow this will just have been a thought and not anything real. I was really looking for more insight from people who have been put into that position and how it affected them. Did it really do anything? I don't want to get angry or something like that again because I'm happy knowing I don't have to see or talk to her.....but now I might have too.
Soul Bear Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 If it makes you feel that uncomfortable then don't go! I think TheBob had it pretty spot on.
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