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What's the proper procedure here?


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Posted

About four months ago, a lesbian friend of mine wrote me a note in which she confessed her feelings towards me. I had no idea.

 

I wanted to be honest with her, because quite honestly, she seemed like a good friend. I told her I was not interested and she burst into tears. That was the last time I saw her.

 

She texted me a few times during the summer - twice she sent me drunken angry texts. The third was one from her telling me her dog died (though I never even knew she had a dog!!). I expressed my condolences, and she never got back to me.

 

Flash to the present - well, yesterday actually.

We both attended a meeting for English majors. I hadn't seen her since that time she cried, and quite honestly, I didn't even notice her in the room until about halfway through the lecture. I wasn't sure if I should say hello, or just pretend I didn't see her, but she spared me from making a decision by sprinting out of the lecture hall as it ended.

We ran into eachother about ten minutes later though. She was slowly walking down a hallway, and I was walking towards her. We said hi, and I TRIED to make conversation, but she blurted out:

"I need to go. I'm in a hurry, to dinner, to see a friend." She ran off.

 

Okay so my question is:

Did I do the right thing trying to talk to her? I mean, thats the nice thing to do, right?

Or was I somehow upsetting her by making conversation?

What do I say the next time I see her (I'm sure I will see her eventually on campus)? Should I even bother saying hello?

 

I guess I'm only worried about this because I know what its like to be rejected. A guy I had started seeing kind of disappeared into the dark about two weeks ago and has yet to be seen (I think this is him rejecting me in his own way). If I saw him I'd be CRUSHED if he ignored me. So I assumed talking to this girl was a good idea. Maybe not?

Posted

No

 

Because that guy that rejected you just vanished, didnt say anything to you, you still wanted more. YOU on the other hand, TOLD her the rejection, so she doesnt want you to exist anymore. So everytime you try to talk to her, you break her heart again because she knows she cant have you. She apparently cant handle it. Protocol is to leave her alone.

Posted
Did I do the right thing trying to talk to her?

yes

 

I mean, thats the nice thing to do, right?

yes

 

Or was I somehow upsetting her by making conversation?

she was obviously anxious, maybe cause now you know shes gay

 

What do I say the next time I see her (I'm sure I will see her eventually on campus)? Should I even bother saying hello?

treat her like any other casual friend. you can even make eye contact from afar and just wave without actually talking. as long as you acknowledge her that is all that is needed.

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