trippi1432 Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Hi Lisa, I'm pretty much new here, but I have been reading posts for quite some time now. I can really relate to what you are going through. I came by this site and thought I'd share with you as well. Maybe it'll help you understand a bit about why some men just up and abandon their spouses. www.runawayhusbands.com Keep your head up Lisa:) Wow!! Thanks for posting that.
tojaz Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Hi Lisa, I'm pretty much new here, but I have been reading posts for quite some time now. I can really relate to what you are going through. I came by this site and thought I'd share with you as well. Maybe it'll help you understand a bit about why some men just up and abandon their spouses. www.runawayhusbands.com Keep your head up Lisa:) That looks like a great site GG how about one for the walkaway wife to go along with it! TOJAZ
Gypsy_Soul Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 Sure no problem. I think that site is for both men and women, so far I've seen both with their stories on there.
tojaz Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I'll have to dig deeper, but a lot of reading that pertains to both sides so far. Thanks for posting it. TOJAZ
Author LisaUk Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 Why define yourself by wether or not this jacka$$ loves you or not. Hes undeserving of that, what makes a walkaway so special that you would doubt yourself over his actions! Hes not the one here working through his issues, hes not the one killing himself at school trying to better himself, hes not the one with 1500 posts trying to help others out of the goodness of his heart. Thats you sweetie!! If he is going to be blind to how good you are, then to hell with him. There are plenty of worthwhile men in this world that would drop to their knees and thank the heavens just for a shot at a woman like you. I know, I'm one of them! TOJAZ :love: What more can I say? Thanks for the compliment Tojaz. Hi Lisa, I'm pretty much new here, but I have been reading posts for quite some time now. I can really relate to what you are going through. I came by this site and thought I'd share with you as well. Maybe it'll help you understand a bit about why some men just up and abandon their spouses. www.runawayhusbands.com Keep your head up Lisa:) Wow, thanks Gorgeous girl, this IS my life! Only exception being I still think my ex was CP, he was definately conflicted before he left and afterwards, on on eoccasion he said "I do still love you and I'm not as certain in my decision now" quickly followed by "but I made the right decision" LOL, clearly nuts! The site is great and I'm sure when i get to chance to read it more thoughly it will be an enormous help to me, I feel/felt exactly as it describes. I am taking his gaslighting, his justifications and finding fault in myself where none exists, believeing what he has said to me, when I KNOW it wasn't like that, I didn't miss anything, there was nothing to miss. What concerns me now though is how will I ever trust again and how will I know the next guy isn't going to turn out the same as my ex? How will I be able to tell? In fact are there any men who wouldn't do this? I know that sounds silly, but I still think there may be something about me, like he said, so another guy will not accept me for who I am, if I'm not perfect he will leave, isn't that the case in all relationships?
tojaz Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 :love: What more can I say? Thanks for the compliment Tojaz. What compliment? Truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth Ms. Solicitor! TOJAZ
dgiirl Posted October 25, 2009 Posted October 25, 2009 What concerns me now though is how will I ever trust again and how will I know the next guy isn't going to turn out the same as my ex? How will I be able to tell? In fact are there any men who wouldn't do this? I know that sounds silly, but I still think there may be something about me, like he said, so another guy will not accept me for who I am, if I'm not perfect he will leave, isn't that the case in all relationships? When the time comes, and you are ready to start dating, you might initially have some of these fears and issues to deal with. There is a bit of innocence and naivety that is lost when going through a divorce or long term commitment. However, with that loss, there also comes independence and strength. You no longer fear being alone because you have built yourself up from the deepest painful bottom and moved on. You become more aware of what YOU want in a relationship. You become more aware of what you will not compromise in yourself for a relationship. You will make sure more of your needs are being met. Your love will not be a sweet innocent youthful love, but it will be a mature grownup love, where you are a little more selfish for what you want and need in a relationship, a little more independent where you are not needy on the other person, and a little more confident in yourself and wont put up with bullsh*t. In my opinion, this is a better sort of love, the love that makes marriages last 40+ years. The kind of love that had I had these skills sets before getting married either could have saved my marriage, or I would have walked away a lot sooner than 10 years.
2.50 a gallon Posted October 27, 2009 Posted October 27, 2009 Lisa When I began dating after the breakup, I quickly learned to keep most of the details like how badly I was hurting close to my chest. Sometimes the questions got to close to home, I would basically say, "I loved, I lost, life goes on!" How do you know you will ever trust again? Simple, because deep in your heart you do want to love again. When the times is right and you meet the right guy, the promise of a new and loving relationship will leave you with a feeling this could be good. And you won't be able to run, and if he is the right guy, he will be doing his part to bring you in closer. It doesn't happen over night, the right card at the right time, the right gift at the right time, just doing things together and step by step it grows. I know it is a little before your time, but listen to the words of Bette Midler and "The Rose" You friend Gallon
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