CandyTown Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I have been in this relationship for a year now. It started out very passionate and crazy as all the "newlywed" stages are for new relationships fort he first few months. The one thing that has always lacked was the "kissing" Me and my boyfriend have NEVER made out, and have been dating this long. I asked him and he says making out is gross? (which to me translate as im gross?) After three months he told ME he loved me for the first time while drunk and me laying across a hospital bed gushing blood. Anyway, I have been living with him for almost 8 months now and most of that time i had been in school now i am graduated and been trying so hard to get a job! I do EVERYTHING for this guy, cook, clean, make his lunches etc..etc...He sits on the couch (after a long days work mind you) and if i ask him something he grunts at me.m Ask a question grunt, He tells me he loves me once in a blue moon in "life" but mostly over text. He has never complimented me, he believes "thank you" or "please" is kissing someones ass if he says them. He can only bare his feelings to me when he is drunk. I can simply explain him as emotionally blocked. Now the kissing/making out thing really bugs me...because i need passion and to feel close to someone. He cuddles me at night and needs some sort of his body touching me while he is sleeping at all times. What's going on here?!!!!! Im so confused in this one...lend me some opinions.
TaraMaiden Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 You think this will get better? Dream on.....! In a word? L-E-A-V-E.
Skump Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I asked him and he says making out is gross? So... insensitive and gay? Yeah, I think you can do better.
boogieboy Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Thats the way he is, and thats that. If you want to live like that, nothing is going to change. You can either accept him as he is, or bail out.
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 OP, I'm curious.... at what point did you notice these incompatibilities? Think back. I'll bet you saw signs of them even during the 'honeymoon' period. IMO, it's good to understand the progression so you can identify it more clearly in the future and avoid such entanglements as emotional attachment and living together. Like many women I've known personally, along with anecdotes shared here, women have a strong motivation to make a man 'theirs', molding him to fit their idea of what a mate should be. This is part ego and part love. Their ego is fed by the display of their work for all to see and their love is validated by the end result. 'I loved him enough and he did xxx and/or became xxx'. This is an impulse you need to fight against. People are who they are. Fundamental personality rarely changes, and even more rarely in response to another person. Acceptance is the key. Can you accept him as he is, right now, and feel healthy about that? If you can't, accept that and move on. No harm, no foul, lots more life to live Remember, you can't change anyone except yourself.....
Author CandyTown Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 I am also gonna add, that he seems to be obsessed with MY dog. I brought the dog into the relationship and he spends more time with the dog then me. Like actually petting the dog, bugging her...stuff like that. The only time he does kiss me is in the morning before he goes to work. He does do nice things sometimes...other than the fact that he lets me live with him for free! He told me the other day that men are superior over women, and i told him how that hurt my feelings and he persisted till about 2 days later when he apologized (because of 2 days of silent treatment) but I dont feel it was sincere..I just don't know if there is something im missing...i just dont understand how any man could treat a woman they love like this..isnt love supposed to be feel good... ugh!
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