ForRealLoveMe Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 How do you tell the difference? There is a guy who talked to me before he found out I found him attractive. Then he found out from kind of a mutual friend. We haven't really talked since then, but every so often he walks past me. I have heard him point me out to someone he knows. He will go talk to someone near me, and I catch him staring at me. I thought he was interested, but he has had more then enough chances to come talk to me. So what gives?
single ape Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Why not try talking to him first instead of waiting?
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 I would feel a bit more comfortable doing that if I had an idea if he was being shy or not. I get a mixed reaction kind of feeling. I see him often enough were I don't want to be pushy if he's not interested.
justwantlove Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Well i dont think you have to be pushy or lay yourself out on the line. But you could start little conversations with him and slyly convey in little ways that your open to a pass. If he doesnt get or respond to you hints at least you mad yourself available.
tigressA Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 He most likely isn't interested. He might think that talking to you, now that he knows you find him attractive, will make you think that he's interested when he's really not. If he were into you, he'd still be talking to you. I guess if you really want to know for sure, you can try approaching him to chat and see how it goes, but I'd just forget about it.
prettybaby Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Do you even know if he's single? Just start talking to him like you would to anybody else like it's no big deal. Try to get a feel of it all. What's the worst that can happen? Talking to someone isn't a crime.
ADF Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 What you describe sounds much more like shyness than lack of interest. Tell him a good joke.
Johnny M Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 How do you tell the difference? There is a guy who talked to me before he found out I found him attractive. Then he found out from kind of a mutual friend. We haven't really talked since then, but every so often he walks past me. I have heard him point me out to someone he knows. He will go talk to someone near me, and I catch him staring at me. I thought he was interested, but he has had more then enough chances to come talk to me. So what gives? Sounds like he's shy...
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 I'm not really sure how to approach him. I feel kind of weird approaching him now. It wasn't meant to come out from someone else I find him attractive.. it just happened. I don't know for sure if he's single. If he knows I'm interested (in at least getting to know him better, well I'd assume he'd get that idea if - maybe not), what is there to be shy about? Wouldn't it be easier for a guy to approach a girl knowing this? I'm a bit shy going into it without much knowledge (like what he thinks of me and if he's single). I'm pretty outgoing, but put me into uncharted territory with a guy, and I get all fumble around like.
alclarkey Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 Wouldn't it be easier for a guy to approach a girl knowing this? Logically yes, but phobias aren't based in logic.
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 Is there body language or something to break the shyness?
Zoff Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I would feel a bit more comfortable doing that if I had an idea if he was being shy or not. I get a mixed reaction kind of feeling. I see him often enough were I don't want to be pushy if he's not interested. lol welcome to the world that we guys inhabit every day Sorry I shouldn't laugh, it can be really hard to distinguish one from the other. I myself am very shy and have been told I come across as very uninterested.
alclarkey Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 lol welcome to the world that we guys inhabit every day Sorry I shouldn't laugh, it can be really hard to distinguish one from the other. I myself am very shy and have been told I come across as very uninterested. There actually might be a way to tell, it's just that women have been told for so long that what a shy guy does is disinterest. I'm actually pretty friendly with the women I'm not interested in, and I act aloof to the ones the make me nervous e.g. the ones I like.
Zoff Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 There actually might be a way to tell, it's just that women have been told for so long that what a shy guy does is disinterest. I'm actually pretty friendly with the women I'm not interested in, and I act aloof to the ones the make me nervous e.g. the ones I like. Ditto, but isn't aloofness also a sign of disinterest? I actually really offended a girl a few years ago with my aloof reaction, so much so that she commented on it and I really didn't mean to. I still feel guilty about that. I can only speak for myself but my aloofness is a self defence mechanism so I don't make a fool of myself and turn into a gibbering wreck in the presence of a girl I like. Instead I make myself seem like an arrogant b@stard, which although probably even worse allows me to at least preserve some sense of dignity. Anyway I digress... My point is that this kind of behaviour is like a suit of armor, if you really want to know what they think you'll have to pierce that armor by simply being friendly until the guard comes down.
Yukikazi Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I don't know for sure if he's single. Welcome to our world.. If he knows I'm interested (in at least getting to know him better, well I'd assume he'd get that idea if - maybe not), what is there to be shy about? Wouldn't it be easier for a guy to approach a girl knowing this? Maybe.. *gasp* you could get off your ass yourself and ask him out. Grow a damn backbone ladies.. I'm a bit shy going into it without much knowledge (like what he thinks of me and if he's single). I'm pretty outgoing, but put me into uncharted territory with a guy, and I get all fumble around like. Once again.. welcome to our world.. Congratulations.. now you know exactly how we feel when we see someone we like but have no "in route" to get to know them other then randomly walking up to start a convo... not easy is it..
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Welcome to our world.. Maybe.. *gasp* you could get off your ass yourself and ask him out. Grow a damn backbone ladies.. Once again.. welcome to our world.. Congratulations.. now you know exactly how we feel when we see someone we like but have no "in route" to get to know them other then randomly walking up to start a convo... not easy is it.. I understand you frustration, but I've got no clue what he thinks of me, he at least knows I have interest.
Jerry18 Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 I understand you frustration, but I've got no clue what he thinks of me, he at least knows I have interest. He might not believe the other person. Plus, if you have so much interest then you should ask him out. He's probably waiting.
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 He might not believe the other person. Plus, if you have so much interest then you should ask him out. He's probably waiting. Then why quit talking to me if he got all shy? It's so confusing to me. I know I could/should just go do something about it. I'd just feel more at ease about it if I'd get some sort of signal that he wants to be approached.
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 Grrr... I ran into him like four times today. Three of those times he made it a point (so he seems) to go past me on purpose. Unfortunately I was having one of those days, and since I never know when I will see who, I kept getting caught when I had a scowl on my face. He probably fears me now *laughing*. I've managed to accidentally embarrass myself in front of him, have a friend accidentally embarrass me, and it's all just like freak incidents. Maybe we are both confused about what the other thinks. I know I'm confused.
laptopacc Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 It sounds like you're just as shy you assume he is. If he's shy, he likely won't come to you, as in his head "What if she doesn't like me". It seems like you also hit a roadblock at "What if he doesn't like me?" The only difference is you accept that he just may be shy, whereas he might be thinking YOU'RE not interested because you never talk to him. Really the only next step is to go talk to him more. If he's waiting on you, and you're waiting on him, you're not going to get far until one of you make a move - and by the sounds of it he's obviously not making his move if he is just shy.
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 (edited) Stupid question, most likely. Would a guy who's not interested (with knowing, or most likely knowing the girl finds him attractive) avoid the girl more? Or would he still stroll past when able? Could it be an ego boost? I will be honest. I got very much so more shy after the few sort of embarrassing moments. I make eye contact, sometimes I catch him looking at me, other times he catches me looking at him. I am normally quite outgoing, but since I see him often enough, it makes me more reserved. The few times we did talk, before, I was very smiley and full of life. Edited October 24, 2009 by ForRealLoveMe
boogieboy Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 If youre not going to grow a backbone to strike up a conversation with him to find out if hes interested, then youre going to wonder forever. No ones going to tell you if hes interested so that you can avoid risking rejection. Hes not thinking of you when he walks past you until you GIVE him a reason to think of you. The only way to do that is to have a conversation that has a long lasting impression on him. Right now youre just scowl girl. Matter of fact, you should make a promise to stop posting until you actually talk to him. Youre going in circles on here.
Author ForRealLoveMe Posted October 24, 2009 Author Posted October 24, 2009 If youre not going to grow a backbone to strike up a conversation with him to find out if hes interested, then youre going to wonder forever. No ones going to tell you if hes interested so that you can avoid risking rejection. Hes not thinking of you when he walks past you until you GIVE him a reason to think of you. The only way to do that is to have a conversation that has a long lasting impression on him. Right now youre just scowl girl. Matter of fact, you should make a promise to stop posting until you actually talk to him. Youre going in circles on here. I am confused. He walks past me each time, and each time I'm always in a different area there. So he's not doing this on purpose? I also don't have a scowl on my face each and every time. It was just a rough day. I was just wondering, and thought that if a guy has no interest in a girl, why would he go past her when there is so many other ways to leave. It is hard to explain (how I run into him). Sorry to have bother everyone. I wont post anymore. I was only trying to get a feel for the situation best so if I approach I can do it with less wondering and contemplating.
boogieboy Posted October 24, 2009 Posted October 24, 2009 I am confused. He walks past me each time, and each time I'm always in a different area there. So he's not doing this on purpose? I also don't have a scowl on my face each and every time. It was just a rough day. I was just wondering, and thought that if a guy has no interest in a girl, why would he go past her when there is so many other ways to leave. It is hard to explain (how I run into him). Sorry to have bother everyone. I wont post anymore. I was only trying to get a feel for the situation best so if I approach I can do it with less wondering and contemplating. Either go up to him, or stop wondering. You dont know if he has no interest, or if he does. You cant make assumptions about it, you will never be sure. You will just have to talk to him to find out. In this case, we cant make a guess on what hes thinking, since were not there looking at him. If you like him, stop him and start a conversation. Youre never going to find out until you TRY. No one is going to make it easy for you. And you dont want to go the rest of your life wondering if you passed up a good guy. Or, if you dont think you will be regretting being too chicken for this in the future, you shouldnt be wondering about it now.
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