Star Gazer Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I don't particularly love my BFF's husband, so perhaps I'm just being judgmental... But here goes. My BFF lives in a gorgeous condo complex that is unfortunately literally right next to the projects and in a not-so-great neighborhood. Part of the complex was built with concrete or brick or something, to literally protect inhabitants from flying bullets. They hear gunshots all the time, and people are mugged on the street right outside their gate on a monthly basis. A few weeks ago, her and her H were in the middle of a loud argument when they heard yelling and screaming outside. They found their neighbor bloody on the street, she had just been mugged and raped, and was covered in blood down the entire length of her body. Her H has what he perceives to be a "nice car": a 2005 Nissan Ultima. She drives a 2000 Honda Civic. For this reason, "they" agreed that because he has the "nicer" car that needs protecting, she is to park somewhere out on the street, and he parks inside the gates in a covered, security garage, with direct access to the building. He gets off work during daylight, she doesn't get home until after dark. In other words, not only is his car safe when he gets home, but HE is safe and protected. She is not. This angers me. It also angers my BF. His car comes before her safety? Ladies, if you were in her shoes, where would you be parking? Guys, if you were in his shoes, where would you be parking?
tinktronik Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 What a jerk. Of course she should be the one parking inside the gates. They need to move.
anne1707 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I can tell you this much. There is absolutely no way that my H would put me at risk like that. Way out of order!
hotgurl Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 how awful. she should be parking inside esp since she gets home after dark. What a dink!
Author Star Gazer Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 BF and I both told her that she should be parking inside, and BF said to her, "There is NO WAY that I'd ever let Star park outside...even here, in suburbia." When I said that in no way should a car, any car, come before her safety, she nodded and seemed to understand and agree with what I was saying, in a sort of sad, regretful way. Wish there was something I could do...
sb129 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Why can't they just swap cars? I have the "nicer" car, AND I get to park inside (we have an internal access garage).
Author Star Gazer Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Why can't they just swap cars? I have the "nicer" car, AND I get to park inside (we have an internal access garage). Because he won't. He only lets her drive his car when she has to travel long distance (like 150 miles) because of her car's unreliability AND when it won't inconvenience him (he refuses to drive her car, so it has to be a situation where he's with friends or something). He does this whole fake, "I want you to feel like this is oouuuurrrrr car..." thing, but then monopolizes it. He also says when they have a baby, the baby can't ride in his car because it might get sick in the car... *sigh*
Art_Critic Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Rather than this being about a car (a depreciating asset.. and really a 2005 Ultima..hahaha) this should be about the person.. the love of his life.. This has nothing to do with a car and everything to do with making the one you love feel and be safe.. Your BFF's H needs an ass whooping.. When I walk down the street with my wife I always walk on the side of the traffic and if I was in your BFF's place there is no doubt that my wife would be parking inside.. The trick will be to get the guy to too alter becuase he obviously doesn't care to see his wife safe..
Island Girl Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Why can't they just swap cars? I have the "nicer" car, AND I get to park inside (we have an internal access garage). This would have already been my solution. He wants his "nicer" car in the gates --- and OF COURSE my safety is of utmost importance as well...what to do? Yep - I'd say -- "Oh great idea! I'll just drive the newer car from now on. Thanks honey!" Either that or I get a new car and now the nicer of the two is MINE and has to be parked inside. But honestly I don't think it'd ever come to that with the guys I date.
Lishy Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Urghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! what a jerk! I hate him and I dont even know his name! How could anyone be with a man like that? ... Vileness!
sb129 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 He also says when they have a baby, the baby can't ride in his car because it might get sick in the car... :lmao::lmao: And the rest! I hope they don't have cream carpets and upholstery! Some people really have no clues, huh. He sounds like a keeper. WB made some noise a while about me sitting on a towel in case my waters break in my car, but he was soon silenced with the SB death ray glare. (He DOES have a point- it could rust the internal springs of the seats but still....)
Jilly Bean Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I think the real problem stems from them living in the ghetto. I've certainly lived in gritty neighborhoods, but this sounds a wee much. That being said, of course he's a tool. But less for the car thing, and more for having her live in such danger.
Jaytb Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 it's Altima btw. So she agreed to this but was still mad about it? Did she ever tell him how she feels?
2sure Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I would be damned. First, the neighborhood. Then the unreliable car. And she has to park on the street in the dark. For a Nissan. Really, I would be damned.
Author Star Gazer Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 :lmao::lmao: And the rest! I hope they don't have cream carpets and upholstery! Some people really have no clues, huh. He sounds like a keeper. It's BLACK on the inside! Oh, he also didn't want the car seat to "dent" the upholstery. I think the real problem stems from them living in the ghetto. I've certainly lived in gritty neighborhoods, but this sounds a wee much. That being said, of course he's a tool. But less for the car thing, and more for having her live in such danger. It's San Francisco, and not that ghetto... but it's certainly not the safest part of the city either. I was really surprised when they decided to purchase there. So she agreed to this but was still mad about it? Did she ever tell him how she feels? No, I don't think she's necessarily mad. She doesn't like it, but she lets him have his way all the time. She bends over backwards and tries very, very hard to make their marriage work. He's just selfish.
sb129 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Well, he has a point, baby vomit is usually white, so could mark black upholstery...lol. Not sure if he is ready to be a father from the sound of it, your poor friend! Seriously though, as 2sure says, for a 4 year old NISSAN? Come on.
Author Star Gazer Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 I love her. When she told me the story about the bloody neighbor they found, my heart broke. Not because I think anything will really happen to her, but because she even has to worry about stuff like this...
GorillaTheater Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Well, he has a point, baby vomit is usually white, so could mark black upholstery...lol. Not sure if he is ready to be a father from the sound of it, your poor friend! Seriously though, as 2sure says, for a 4 year old NISSAN? Come on. Are you still here? You should be out walking or fooling around with your husband. Something to speed this process along ...
sb129 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Walk- check Husband- at work- its 9.30am here. Am waiting for phone call from midwife, I have an appointment today with her and the Ob-gyn probably going to be induced thurs or fri. Sorry for OT.
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 If it were me, I'd make the 2000 Civic 'reliable' and drive it and my wife would drive the Altima and park inside the complex. Those Civics are reliable as the day is long; he's just shyte at operational maintenance. I'd also be saving up to get the heck outta that neighborhood. First thing I thought of was the Tenderloin. Yuck....
New Again Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Wow, what a douchebag. My bf doesn't even live in a bad neighborhood in his city, but when I come over he ALWAYS parks on the street and has me park in his garage; if I come over after dusk he asks me for my ETA and is waiting at the garage for me to walk me through his fenced in yard to the house.
Jaytb Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 No, I don't think she's necessarily mad. She doesn't like it, but she lets him have his way all the time. She bends over backwards and tries very, very hard to make their marriage work. He's just selfish. well you're not her. Ultimately it's up to her what she does or doesn't do.
Author Star Gazer Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 well you're not her. Ultimately it's up to her what she does or doesn't do. Obviously, but that doesn't make the situation okay. Or, do you think it does?
Isolde Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I think the real problem stems from them living in the ghetto. I've certainly lived in gritty neighborhoods, but this sounds a wee much. That being said, of course he's a tool. But less for the car thing, and more for having her live in such danger. I agree with this, it's the overall situation that makes me feel bad for your friend. Someone who values a glitzy condo and car over being safe and comfortable clearly doesn't have great priorities.
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