aloneinseattle Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Well I tried moving my sleep position, like some one had suggested and it seemed to work. Then bam my ex is in my dreams again, I dreamt that I called her and we met up, and I asked her if she still loved me and she said no. I woke up heart broke and sad. I was looking around on my pc and stumbled across some pictures of her and I. It really makes me want to call her, I have been NC for almost 3 months but it is becoming more difficult every time she pops in to my dreams...
symbol Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Hang in there! Don't call her! It's going to get better every day and yuu're doing so well so far with 3 months of NC! Why don't you put her pictures away? Copy them on a DVD and put it somewhere you wouldn't easily access.
Author aloneinseattle Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 I have decided to take a trip to the philippine Island to get away. Going to visit some friends there. Because at times I feel desperate and I want to drive by her work or just happen to pass her while she is waiting for the bus. The urge gets stronger, I hate it.
GrayClouds Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Well I tried moving my sleep position, like some one had suggested and it seemed to work. Then bam my ex is in my dreams again, I dreamt that I called her and we met up, and I asked her if she still loved me and she said no. I woke up heart broke and sad. I was looking around on my pc and stumbled across some pictures of her and I. It really makes me want to call her, I have been NC for almost 3 months but it is becoming more difficult every time she pops in to my dreams... The only consolation is that these dreams are letting your head work through the break-up. While it make the morning difficult it is a sign that you ar healing and working on a way of exceptional. After a break-up it is really difficlut to make conscious scene of it, so that is where the unconscious kick in to help you do the work. It may help, despite how you feel afterwords, to remind yourself that "I was healing and moving forward last night", rather then beat yourself up about it, try to see it as a painful but good thing; like snapping your arm back in place after a break.
Soul Bear Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 (edited) This is progress!!! My ex started being nasty to me in my dreams to when I got closer to the end of the black tunnel. You're doing a really good job bro, just stick at it. Well done for getting to this stage...You honestly are getting better Keep your chin up Edited October 20, 2009 by Soul Bear
Author aloneinseattle Posted October 21, 2009 Author Posted October 21, 2009 I am just curious on how it is progress when seems like I miss her more than before, I think my get away trip will help though
ralph1319 Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 im sorry to hear you are having a hard time with this.I also have dreams of my wife. it comes and goes im sorry to say ive been separated for almost 9 months and when i dream of her i get very depressed.its going to be very hard for you to stop thinking of her.seek counseling it has helped me function a little bit better than before and yes take a trip to clear your head but be prepared well as for me when i came back from a trip to clear my head and i got back home to reality holy sh!! it hit me like a ton of bricks i ended up dreaming of her again.im not sure if you have kids for me im trying to be strong for my kids and thats what has kept me going.just be prepaired its a roller coaster ride and you wont be able to get off..YET...i hope things will work out for you. stay strong..
GrayClouds Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I am just curious on how it is progress when seems like I miss her more than before, I think my get away trip will help though As the old saying goes it is the darkest before the dawn. You have already gone through shock of the relationship ending and now your working through acceptance. Your not there which is why your subconscious is working overtime to help. Every step of letting go is a new hurt. But going through them is required hence progress. The challenge is to see it as progress rather then regression.
Soul Bear Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 as the old saying goes it is the darkest before the dawn. You have already gone through shock of the relationship ending and now your working through acceptance. Your not there which is why your subconscious is working overtime to help. Every step of letting go is a new hurt. But going through them is required hence progress. The challenge is to see it as progress rather then regression. excellent advice!!!!
Author aloneinseattle Posted October 22, 2009 Author Posted October 22, 2009 Well that is definitely a great way to look at the situation and thank you so much for the advice. I know time heals everything and my body, mind, and soul is going through a grieving process as we all do when we lose some thing close to us that we love. Just getting to that point where we are 100% is tuff. I have been in longer relationships then the one with my ex(we dated 2 and a half years), and to be honest no other woman has ever had this type of effect on me. So it kinda puzzles me, the way I am feeling. I have been through it before you would think I would not feel so bad or take it so hard ......
symbol Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Well that is definitely a great way to look at the situation and thank you so much for the advice. I know time heals everything and my body, mind, and soul is going through a grieving process as we all do when we lose some thing close to us that we love. Just getting to that point where we are 100% is tuff. I have been in longer relationships then the one with my ex(we dated 2 and a half years), and to be honest no other woman has ever had this type of effect on me. So it kinda puzzles me, the way I am feeling. I have been through it before you would think I would not feel so bad or take it so hard ...... I think it's the depth of the relationship that matters rather than the length of it. But also, with time, we tend to forget the intensity of past pain. Maybe that's why you feel it's tougher this time, because it's so fresh. In any case, your past experience should tell you that you'll feel much better in the future... Hang in there!
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