Bulldozed Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 My Girlfriend and I split up at the end of August. I tried the NC rule immediately after for about a week or so. She texted me some innocent comments now and again. My shock at her wanting us to take a break for a while, caught me by surprise, though she said she didn't want to "break up" but rather focus on herself....and re-calibrate her life. I respected that and was very positive. I've made a few blunders the past few wks, suggesting she wanted to hook up with her friends ex-husband. The week we decided to separate, I asked her the question of whether she had an interest in her best friends recently divorced "ex-husband"....she took offense, and later in the week told me how angry I made her at suggesting such a thing. bottom line is a week or so later, I discovered that she's spending time with this guy, clearly spending the night over there. He lives right around the corner from me, a mile away. Mind you, this was a woman (40 yrs old) who just 2 months ago, was discussing wedding plans with my mother. If she's clearly seeing this guy ( it would appear she is) what's the probability that this is just a mindless fling? Seriously, who would actually put themselves in a position to not only abandon a 20 yr friendship, but doing so with their friends ex? What kind of character must someone have to do something like that? I'm so incredibly torn up over this, I can't stand it. 2 yrs, and endless talks about our future together, not to mention I'm 8k in debt, thanks to buying a ring for her, that based on our discussions this summer. Marriage was an afterthought to us and those around us. This woman has been divorced twice (two losers), and prior to me was involved with an absolute degenerate loser who didn't appreciate her and ignored her for nearly 3 yrs of their 3.5 yr relationship....I represented the complete opposite of anyone she was ever with.....what to do....? How do you go 23 mths with someone you love and then in last month, realize the person you loved so much is clearly not the person you thought they were? I'm pretty much devastated as are my family and our mutual friends (they're incredibly confused by her, to the point where she won't even talk with them about what she's doing) I think at this point I'm convinced that this relationship with this divorcee will end badly for her as it's his first relationship since divorcing her good friend. I hope it does....clearly she's either ashamed and/or embarrassed by her behavior as she's been unwilling to admit to anyone what she's doing.
boogieboy Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Wow, cowardice knows no age eh? She didnt have to get her head together, she just wanted to date he new guy and get you out of her hair. She got the impression that telling you she wanted a break would let you down gently. Since she is seeing the other guy, she isnt thinking about you. if he ditches her, she might come back to you, but dont count on it....and you dont want that back. She sounds unstable.
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