Need to vent: Is it me, or them???

[looking4 green grass]

Alright, I just need to get this all out and scream! Men are literally driving me insane. Suddenly moving to Antarctica looks like a GREAT idea.

 

So this morning about 1am, my phone rings. In my sleepy haze, I answered without locating my glasses to read the caller ID. It's ex from way back in May, wanting to know how he can improve so he doesn't suck in bed, and started asking me all these detailed questions about his technique. Talk about random. I think I mumbled something about buying a book and hung up on him.

 

Today, I sign on IM to chat with a friend and ex #1 pops up, and his first message is all about how he loves me, and begs me for a second chance, and on and on. I tell him "NO" there will be no second chance (for the millionth time) and put myself on invisible. He's still typing away about how much he has changed and how he wants to marry me and blah blah. I'm not sure how to be more blunt than "we will never get back together, you need to move on and focus on your future" Please tell me if there is.

 

Then, most recent ex (I'll call him #2) gets on....in some fantasy land he thinks he's going to get back to the US and date me. Again, I'm not sure how to be more clear than "I'm dating other people and exploring my options. Stop annoying me."

 

THEN....oh yes, b/c my life couldn't end with the wierdness there. I get on facebook and have a message waiting for me from Mr. Random. Mr. Random and I went to HS together more than 10 years ago. I saw him once or twice out and about town about 5 years ago. He emailed me once on facebook and told me he thought my status updates were funny. I said thank you. (Several months ago). He emails me out of the blue today asking me if I ever make it back to my home state and if I will be in a certain location this weekend. I say, no I don't go home, and yes I will be at X location. He responds and ask me all types of questions, which I haven't gotten around to answering yet. Then he sends me a message telling me he has a thing for me....???????????? Based on what? My facebook status updates? We weren't even friends in HS. I'm ignoring that one all together, it came out of left field.

 

THEN....Mr. Other Guy calls me. Way back in the summer I went out on a date with Other Guy's roommate, Mr. Worst Date Of My Entire Life. It was, in fact, the worst date of my life. I bolted halfway through the movie b/c he was well.....there are no words for how full of himself this guy was. Mr. Other Guy got my number somehow and decides to call me up and ask me out. Isn't that a bit weird, since I went on a date with his roommate?-----let me go ahead and insert Mr. Worst Date Of My Life still to this day, bugs my friends about me and asks why I won't call him back. Ugh, go away already!

 

NOT TO MENTION (yes the story goes on) I was in a wedding several weeks ago. One of the groomsmen has finally conned the bride out of my number and calls me over the weekend wanting to meet up with me back in ~home state~. He lives 12 hours away, get real Mr. Out of State. The only time we even talked was when we were taking group portraits b/c we were designated "partners." I was nice, but I sure didn't flirt with him (I was still dating someone at the time). I just....don't get why he would want to call me so much, and he texts me at leat 10 times a day (to which I don't respond).

 

FINALLY....there is Mr. Slept With My Bestie. That sums it up right, he slept with one of my best friends last year. I have no remote interest in the guy. He has my number from planning a party back in June. Why is he texting me non-stop while I keep ignoring him. I mean, he slept with my best friend, on what planet would I ever go for him?

 

I'm not sure there's a question in all of this. More of a rant over strange male behavior. I am not a touchy feely person, I'm not flirty. I'm very reserved and into doing my own thing. I don't know if men are just weird, or if I'm somehow coming across as interested when I'm not. I'm southern, we are born and bred to be nice, but there is a difference between nice and flirty.

 

How do I know if it's me or them?

[Jerry18]

Alright, I just need to get this all out and scream! Men are literally driving me insane. Suddenly moving to Antarctica looks like a GREAT idea.

 

So this morning about 1am, my phone rings. In my sleepy haze, I answered without locating my glasses to read the caller ID. It's ex from way back in May, wanting to know how he can improve so he doesn't suck in bed, and started asking me all these detailed questions about his technique. Talk about random. I think I mumbled something about buying a book and hung up on him.

 

Today, I sign on IM to chat with a friend and ex #1 pops up, and his first message is all about how he loves me, and begs me for a second chance, and on and on. I tell him "NO" there will be no second chance (for the millionth time) and put myself on invisible. He's still typing away about how much he has changed and how he wants to marry me and blah blah. I'm not sure how to be more blunt than "we will never get back together, you need to move on and focus on your future" Please tell me if there is.

 

Then, most recent ex (I'll call him #2) gets on....in some fantasy land he thinks he's going to get back to the US and date me. Again, I'm not sure how to be more clear than "I'm dating other people and exploring my options. Stop annoying me."

 

THEN....oh yes, b/c my life couldn't end with the wierdness there. I get on facebook and have a message waiting for me from Mr. Random. Mr. Random and I went to HS together more than 10 years ago. I saw him once or twice out and about town about 5 years ago. He emailed me once on facebook and told me he thought my status updates were funny. I said thank you. (Several months ago). He emails me out of the blue today asking me if I ever make it back to my home state and if I will be in a certain location this weekend. I say, no I don't go home, and yes I will be at X location. He responds and ask me all types of questions, which I haven't gotten around to answering yet. Then he sends me a message telling me he has a thing for me....???????????? Based on what? My facebook status updates? We weren't even friends in HS. I'm ignoring that one all together, it came out of left field.

 

THEN....Mr. Other Guy calls me. Way back in the summer I went out on a date with Other Guy's roommate, Mr. Worst Date Of My Entire Life. It was, in fact, the worst date of my life. I bolted halfway through the movie b/c he was well.....there are no words for how full of himself this guy was. Mr. Other Guy got my number somehow and decides to call me up and ask me out. Isn't that a bit weird, since I went on a date with his roommate?-----let me go ahead and insert Mr. Worst Date Of My Life still to this day, bugs my friends about me and asks why I won't call him back. Ugh, go away already!

 

NOT TO MENTION (yes the story goes on) I was in a wedding several weeks ago. One of the groomsmen has finally conned the bride out of my number and calls me over the weekend wanting to meet up with me back in ~home state~. He lives 12 hours away, get real Mr. Out of State. The only time we even talked was when we were taking group portraits b/c we were designated "partners." I was nice, but I sure didn't flirt with him (I was still dating someone at the time). I just....don't get why he would want to call me so much, and he texts me at leat 10 times a day (to which I don't respond).

 

FINALLY....there is Mr. Slept With My Bestie. That sums it up right, he slept with one of my best friends last year. I have no remote interest in the guy. He has my number from planning a party back in June. Why is he texting me non-stop while I keep ignoring him. I mean, he slept with my best friend, on what planet would I ever go for him?

 

I'm not sure there's a question in all of this. More of a rant over strange male behavior. I am not a touchy feely person, I'm not flirty. I'm very reserved and into doing my own thing. I don't know if men are just weird, or if I'm somehow coming across as interested when I'm not. I'm southern, we are born and bred to be nice, but there is a difference between nice and flirty.

 

How do I know if it's me or them?

 

1. Why do you not have your phone on silent during the night?

 

2. Why don't you block him on MSN after the... third time?

 

3. Why don't you block him as well?

 

4. Why did you add him as a friend on Facebook if you guys aren't friends?

 

5. Do you recommend guys to your friends? Why can't he recommend you to his room mate?

 

I guess it has something to do with your behaviour. I definitely would not keep people on IM if I have no interest in speaking with them.

 

I think you're too sensitive to people asking random questions while you haven't taken any action to prevent them from doing so.

[looking4 green grass]

1. Family emergencies.

 

2 & 3...b/c I am master of not seeing the obvious. Going to do that one right now.

 

4. We organized our HS reunion on FB, so the entire class is basically "friends" with everybody we graduated with.

 

5. Not guys I have ever been out with. That seems a little weird to me. Plus the weird roommate still calls and bugs my friends about me, so it's pretty obvious he's interested in me. Why would he recommend a girl he is interested in to his roommate?

 

But yeah, I'm going to block them now. I never log on IM enough for it to be an issue. I guess the stars and planets aligned tonight so that everybody was on at the same time.

[boogieboy]

You must be quite a dish if all theseguys are seeking out your number without asking you for it. Seems highly unusual, but sounds like you need to change your number.

[aerogurl87]

Alright, I just need to get this all out and scream! Men are literally driving me insane. Suddenly moving to Antarctica looks like a GREAT idea.

 

So this morning about 1am, my phone rings. In my sleepy haze, I answered without locating my glasses to read the caller ID. It's ex from way back in May, wanting to know how he can improve so he doesn't suck in bed, and started asking me all these detailed questions about his technique. Talk about random. I think I mumbled something about buying a book and hung up on him.

 

Today, I sign on IM to chat with a friend and ex #1 pops up, and his first message is all about how he loves me, and begs me for a second chance, and on and on. I tell him "NO" there will be no second chance (for the millionth time) and put myself on invisible. He's still typing away about how much he has changed and how he wants to marry me and blah blah. I'm not sure how to be more blunt than "we will never get back together, you need to move on and focus on your future" Please tell me if there is.

 

Then, most recent ex (I'll call him #2) gets on....in some fantasy land he thinks he's going to get back to the US and date me. Again, I'm not sure how to be more clear than "I'm dating other people and exploring my options. Stop annoying me."

 

THEN....oh yes, b/c my life couldn't end with the wierdness there. I get on facebook and have a message waiting for me from Mr. Random. Mr. Random and I went to HS together more than 10 years ago. I saw him once or twice out and about town about 5 years ago. He emailed me once on facebook and told me he thought my status updates were funny. I said thank you. (Several months ago). He emails me out of the blue today asking me if I ever make it back to my home state and if I will be in a certain location this weekend. I say, no I don't go home, and yes I will be at X location. He responds and ask me all types of questions, which I haven't gotten around to answering yet. Then he sends me a message telling me he has a thing for me....???????????? Based on what? My facebook status updates? We weren't even friends in HS. I'm ignoring that one all together, it came out of left field.

 

THEN....Mr. Other Guy calls me. Way back in the summer I went out on a date with Other Guy's roommate, Mr. Worst Date Of My Entire Life. It was, in fact, the worst date of my life. I bolted halfway through the movie b/c he was well.....there are no words for how full of himself this guy was. Mr. Other Guy got my number somehow and decides to call me up and ask me out. Isn't that a bit weird, since I went on a date with his roommate?-----let me go ahead and insert Mr. Worst Date Of My Life still to this day, bugs my friends about me and asks why I won't call him back. Ugh, go away already!

 

NOT TO MENTION (yes the story goes on) I was in a wedding several weeks ago. One of the groomsmen has finally conned the bride out of my number and calls me over the weekend wanting to meet up with me back in ~home state~. He lives 12 hours away, get real Mr. Out of State. The only time we even talked was when we were taking group portraits b/c we were designated "partners." I was nice, but I sure didn't flirt with him (I was still dating someone at the time). I just....don't get why he would want to call me so much, and he texts me at leat 10 times a day (to which I don't respond).

 

FINALLY....there is Mr. Slept With My Bestie. That sums it up right, he slept with one of my best friends last year. I have no remote interest in the guy. He has my number from planning a party back in June. Why is he texting me non-stop while I keep ignoring him. I mean, he slept with my best friend, on what planet would I ever go for him?

 

I'm not sure there's a question in all of this. More of a rant over strange male behavior. I am not a touchy feely person, I'm not flirty. I'm very reserved and into doing my own thing. I don't know if men are just weird, or if I'm somehow coming across as interested when I'm not. I'm southern, we are born and bred to be nice, but there is a difference between nice and flirty.

 

How do I know if it's me or them?

 

Haha that's funny and I think it does have to do with the southern mentality which is to be polite to all (guess that comes off as flirtatious to some). At least you didn't have 3 (yep count em THREE) stalkers in one year. First guy was my best friend's ex pseudo lover who thought I sooo wanted to date him after I made a mistake and got drunk for the first time and ended up making out with him before he dropped me off at home. Second guy was a guy who kept texting me after one night of dancing at the club. I only gave him my number because he seemed like a cool guy to hang out with and I thought he'd make for a good dancing partner. But then he started talking dates, being my boyfriend, etc. NEXT! Third guy was this guy who was a two week summer fling. A few mid day rendevous and he was cool till he started freaking me out by talking about being my man, texting constantly to say he missed me, etc. So yeah I think it definitely has something to do with being from the South.

[looking4 green grass]

The bride told me the out of town guy asked me for her number, and I told her not to give it to him. I don't know if he went to her husband or what. Regardless, it's annoying.

 

I blocked the other guys on IM, that seemed like a great idea. Genius actually.

 

I have no idea what a dish is.

[boogieboy]

First guy was my best friend's ex pseudo lover who thought I sooo wanted to date him after I made a mistake and got drunk for the first time and ended up making out with him before he dropped me off at home. Second guy was a guy who kept texting me after one night of dancing at the club. I only gave him my number because he seemed like a cool guy to hang out with and I thought he'd make for a good dancing partner. But then he started talking dates, being my boyfriend, etc. NEXT! Third guy was this guy who was a two week summer fling. A few mid day rendevous and he was cool till he started freaking me out by talking about being my man, texting constantly to say he missed me, etc. So yeah I think it definitely has something to do with being from the South.

 

In your case its not the southern mentality, but the teaser mentality of taking guys numbers and not telling them what their actual purpose is to you. So they arent stalkers, you just misled all 3 of them.

[looking4 green grass]

Stalker to me is Mr. Worst Date of My Life, who actually spent Saturday driving around to my friends houses looking for my car, and walking in the party I was at unannounced. His line "You guy's must not have invited me b/c you thought I was working" He wasn't friends with anybody there..........CREEPY!

[aerogurl87]

In your case its not the southern mentality, but the teaser mentality of taking guys numbers and not telling them what their actual purpose is to you. So they arent stalkers, you just misled all 3 of them.

 

I think when you tell someone outright that you have no interest in ever dating them, that's not misleading. I don't mislead men, I tell them straight up what I expect out of them, but then they want to get it into their head that there could possibly be more there.

[torranceshipman]

Lol you do sound like you are loving the drama. Next time try shutting them down completely: 'I am not interested: you're not my type, but I appreciate your polite compliment' - all done with a stony, no nonsense face. Then blank them so they know (after your polite rebuttal) that they have no reason to continue pursuing you. If they do overstep the mark and ask again, delete them or discontinue the conversation pronto.

 

This includes online-I would never have a guy on MySpace or wherever who is only on there because he wants to go out with me - delete him, simple. Delete anyone on MSN that isn't a genuine friend.

 

And sorry sweetie but noone has stalkers and can joke about them, so they might be persistent but they're not stalkers!-I think men can be annoying and don't give up sometimes!!-but I do think you enjoy quite a bit of the entertainment so you are encouraging it somewhat. Stop encouraging it and you'll still get attention but nothing like this annoying stuff.

 

 

And last point...you can be very polite to ALL of these guys, whilst firmly rebutting them. Politeness does not have to be compromised here, but tell these guys NO when you don't want the attention and stick to it else they'll be annoying and keep trying!!