fofiffs Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Well my ex and first true love from back in 2000 just contacted me tonight on facebook. Last time I talked to her was like three years ago for a brief moment. I havent heard from here since. Tonight she sends me a message via facebook telling me that she is in Tennesse doing some training for a month. She gives me her hotel number to call her. Well I give her a ring and we talked for about an hour. We talked about all the good times from back in the day and how we have been these past few years. She now has a daughter and a boyfriend she has been with for two years. Before the conversation ended she tells me that she really wants to see me and that she'll also pay for my flight tickets. She said she'll even fly me out there tomorrow if I agreed. I was really surprised when she told me that. I was kinda quiet for a few seconds because I really didn't know what to say or react. I asked where am I going to stay and she tells me I can stay at the hotel with her since she has two beds. I quickly changed the subject and asked her about her boyfriend and she tells me that she just not sure with him because they've been together for 2 years and he still hasnt popped the question to her. She said she wants more in the relationship and wants the marriage life. After that I come up with an excuse to get off the phone and I tell her I'll think about coming up to see her. It just somewhat felt weird that after all this time now she wants to see me. I'm just not sure weather I should see her or not. At the same time some feelings for her also resurfaced. I'm just really confused and not sure what to think right now. It was really good to talk to her though after all these years. So what do you guys think? should I agree to see her or not? I'm just not sure what to think because right now I'm thinking she is only saying that because she is feeling lonely. And also she does have a boyfriend she has been with for 2 years. I feel that if I do come up to see her something might happen between us and I don't want to be that OM that messes up her current relationship.
logitech Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Damn man that is pretty crazy. The age old they always come around... Eventually. I think that I personally wouldn't take the bait. I know how much this would be messing with your head. But since there is another man, a daughter, then for her to be so keen so quick... It just doesn't seem right. I think if you guys are to meet up after this time it should be in a mutual place. If that's what you want. Wow...
JaneDoe35 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I would not meet up with her if I were you. She has told you that she has a boyfriend. You don't want to be doing this out of respect for the boyfriend, unless she has told him that she wants to meet up with you....which I doubt. It is definately flattering. Maybe you could say 'Thanks for the offer, would have loved to meet up with you under different circumstances. Call me if you become single.' This would also be respecting yourself. Good luck.
cdt76 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I agree. If she wasn't alone for a month, she probably wouldn't be calling you. Don't do it because it is not the right thing to do, since she is in a relationship with a child. Make her make the hard choice of figuring out who she wants in her life. Don't give in to temptation. I think the best route is to just say, I would love to meet if you are single and see if we can start fresh.
DustySaltus Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I think you are in a very weak place right now and although it was good to hear from her it can't discount the fact that she has a boyfriend and child. Your feelings of loneliness are clouding your judgment. Let's take a step back for a second.... You haven't seen her in almost 10 years. She calls you up and invites you down to see her, even offering to pay for your plane ticket. She obviously wants something from you. There's an old saying "how you get them, is how you keep them"...if she does this to him, she COULD do it to you. Proceed with caution my friend, this could get messy..but I wish you the best.
EricaH329 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 I know this must be tough for you!! Going back and forth about whether or not to go. I'm sorry she put you in this situation! But, I must agree with the other posts. If she didn't have a boyfriend, I would say to go for it. That's a sticky situation that i'm sure none of you want to end up in.
Turista Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 If you take the bait, and if you end up together, this is what she'll do to you some day...
Author fofiffs Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Well I haven't talked to her yet but you guys are right. I just really needed to think about it. It was just weird that after all these years ,now she wants to me. I just wanted to get others opinions cuz right now my head is really clouded after going through a major break up with my ex fiance. Even though I haven't seen her in almost 10 years, I still do miss her from time to time. I mean theres really no more emotions on my part towards her. I guess its just missing those great memories we had back then. So i'm going to do the right thing by telling her that it would have been great to see her but the timing was just not right. Thanks for the advice LSers!!!
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