Alles1912 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Gosh some things in life just suck ... We have been married for 5years now, our sex life has been non existent, we have a 17 month old daughter (cutest thing ever) and 6 months ago my wife filed for divorce the first time. She came back 3 months later to give it another shoot, I lost my job, we founded our own business, hated working together and decided to move closer to family. One week after she left she asked if I could stay behind and continue making some money to support the family until I find a job in the new location. She has left 2 weeks ago, we spoke almost daily and never has she said she loved or missed me (which I thought was highly unlikely for her). Am I just overexaggerating or should I be worried?!? Should I just stay away for a while and see what happens or should I call it a day. I don't want to loose my daughter but feel like our relationship is coming to a sudden halt. Any suggestions, maybe something other than shoot yourself
JaneDoe35 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 All I can suggest is marriage counselling. It seems like it is a stalemate between you two. I think separation/divorce would not be a great idea until you have both exhausted all other options. Please get help before this gets to the point of no return.......good luck.
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Where did she go the first time she left? Has your daughter always gone with her or stayed with you? What do you want? How long has your M been lacking intimacy?
Author Alles1912 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 We have done marriage counseling when she first came back and it didn't do anything for either one of us. The funny thing is, after she left me I wanted her back and she refused for about 6 weeks. Then I reached the point of no return, gave up and she called out of nowhere wanting to come back. According to her she saw a psycologist to go over her traumatic birth experience (emergency c-section) and some things that happened after that (blod clod, etc.) and was told by her that her reaction was totally normal because she faced death twice in a very short period of time at a very young age (28). Anyways, making a long story short, I did not want her to come back after all this but caved in (probably and partially because of our infant daughter). She came back promising she would change (realizing that she had been quite a piece of work) but never did. After about another 6 weeks I asked what happened to her promise to change and her answer was "I relaized it was not all my fault, why don't you change?". Now that I am writing this, I can't believe I actually stuck around ...
Author Alles1912 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Carhill, she went to her parents when she left first. She left from one day to the other and took my daughter with her (out of state, 1000 miles away). There was no asking questions about how to handle the situation, she just caught me in the garage one night (classy, right) and told me I can spend the evening with my daughter, she will leave the next day, our relationship is over. I am not sure what I want any more, I feel like I have nothing to loose either way. My only deciding factor is my daughter which I love very much. I know that if it comes to a divorce, she will try everything to keep me away (sadly enough). Intimacy in our relationship has been lacking from the get go. We had compatability problems to start with. I figured it will work itself out but it didn't. The strange thing is, after all we have been through (her health issues, moving 6 times in 5 years, one half ass divorce, having a daughter) I think I still love her and I really don't know why. I wish I could just cut my losses and move on, it would probably better for the both of us. Somewhat tells me it's not the right thing to do, it's just a feeling I have, I hope it's not just fear of being alone.
imagine Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Look. contact the lawyers regarding the removal of your child. Do it NOW. She cannot stop a court injunction. The longer you wait the more difficult to overthrow this kidnapping!
Chrome Barracuda Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Why dont you keep your daughter it doesnt sound like she's even mentally stable, taking the kids, no court order, no visitation, just doing what she wants? Why are you even talking about this, why havent you filed for divorce yet? Why are you putting up with this?
carhill Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 It's OK to love someone and accept your incompatibilities. Acceptance is key. The circumstances will remain the same but your perception and reactions will change. I'd suggest a month of weekly IC and interviewing a couple of lawyers to apprise you of your legal options. IMO, if you believe your daughter is not in physical danger, it's better to think this through rather than taking harsh and immediate action regarding custody. Remain calm and proceed with proper legal advice. My sympathies....
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