lucy9216 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 My ex and I broke up 6 months ago after a 5 1/2 year relationship. He came home from work one day and just said that he doesent feel like we are a match for each other, he had purposed to me 3 weeks earlier and he said that he only did that to make me happy and that he didn't really want to marry me. I don't understand how he could deceive me for years, we would often talk of getting married, he would talk about me like I was the only woman ever for him, he was soooo in love with me and would do anything for me. I did have a hard time accepting this for a while because of my previous abusive relationship and I found it difficult to trust anyone, it did take about 2 to 3 years in order to really trust him and open up to him. We had talked about it and he said that he was there for me and he would be patient with me. So to try to make this as short as possible you could imagine my shock when he just came home from work one day and said it was over. We do have a child together and I have another child from the previous abusive relationship. When he left me he said that he still loved me but he was trying to get over me because we were just never meant to be. That feeling I think came from some communication problems which I begged him to do counseling and try to work things out, I know he still had a lot of love for me but he was hell bent on it being fate that we shouldn't be together. Our biggest problem was communication, we had 3 major fights in 5 1/2 years and sex was a problem too. We had 2 kids and both worked full time and often different hours, I tried to as often as I could which ended up being about 2 times a week. I guess this wasn't enough and he felt that we had just become room mates, but isn't this normal for a couple that has 2 small kids? I mean it wasn't anything that could not have been worked out... When I talk to him recently he says that he will never come back now and it is over, I just don't understand how someone could walk away without even trying I was willing to do anything to work out any problems. It's not like they were bad issues either, I mean any future relationships will go through the same issues so why not have worked it out with me? He also asked me about a week if I was sleeping with someone else that has tried to sleep with me before, I told me no but this guy did ask again. So a few days later it was brought up that he might be around at a halloween function with some mutual friends but my ex said that he didn't want to go because the person who wants to sleep with me will be there and he didn't want to be around him now..... Why would that bother him if he is over me? I still love him soooo much and I have tried everything I could think of to try and work things out but he doesent want too, but he also says that he doesent want to know or hear about anyone I date and he doesent really want me to get over him... WTF???? what is he trying to do here? Every weekend I see him in order to trade off the kids he wants to stick around and have coffe, talk with me, he tells me how everything is going at work and complains about his roommates. I started ignoring him and being short with him for a month and it bothered him so much and he kept asking me what was wrong and if everything was okay. I wasn't being rude I just wasn't sticking around to hang out with him.... I am so confused and sad, I just want him to come home but from what he says I don't think it will happen but then why do I get mixed signals and I don't think I can handle the day that I have to see him with someone new, how do you live with that on a regular basis? seeing the one you love with someone else? I am so sorry this is soooo long I just need to vent and hoping to hear from anyone that maybe has gone through something similar? or just something to help me get through this, because there are days I doubt I can even make to the end of the day.
Recommended Posts