howcouldInotknow Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 How many women have experienced this. Every ex boyfriend I have had has come back at some point or another wanting to work things out. Why do men do this. I currently have one ex we have been broken up for about 5 years been friends for 4 suddenly after all of this time wants to work things out and I am his soulmate and the woman he loves. WTF why do men do this and how can I let him know I am not interested without destroying the friendship?
letinmotion Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 You can never go wrong if you are honest (not brutally honest) but honest. If you beat around the bush you risk doing more harm to the friendship then good in the long run.
MrFun Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 WTF why do men do this and how can I let him know I am not interested without destroying the friendship? He doesn't have anything going on in his life at the moment and the girl is second choice. He *thinks* he's in love, because there's no comparison, i.e. no-one else there that's halfway decent. Don't confuse that with him being interested for the long run. If the relationship didn't work at one time, why should it now work all of a sudden, you know?
letinmotion Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 He doesn't have anything going on in his life at the moment and the girl is second choice. He *thinks* he's in love, because there's no comparison, i.e. no-one else there that's halfway decent. Don't confuse that with him being interested for the long run. If the relationship didn't work at one time, why should it now work all of a sudden, you know? Oh aux contrare.. Sometimes we are at different points in our lives and dealing with outside issues, etc. Theres no guarantee that it wouldnt work out in the long run just like theres no guarantee that it would.
pinkie Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 This has happened to me... sometimes it's just a sexual chemistry, sometimes the relationship can be rekindled, but only for a short period of time. Then the old "now I know why this didn't work out" happens. I think if you two have been friends 4 years, it's prob best to keep it that way. Or... you could always be FWB and see where that takes u. Goodluck.
Author howcouldInotknow Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 He doesn't have anything going on in his life at the moment and the girl is second choice. He *thinks* he's in love, because there's no comparison, i.e. no-one else there that's halfway decent. Don't confuse that with him being interested for the long run. If the relationship didn't work at one time, why should it now work all of a sudden, you know? In this case I am not sure. He has dated many beautiful women. In the past month he was seeing this beautifil venezuelan girl and also a very good looking flight attendant and he has turned them both down to focus on whatever he feels with me. I don't know but I am no longer interested.
MrFun Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Oh aux contrare.. Sometimes we are at different points in our lives and dealing with outside issues, etc. Theres no guarantee that it wouldnt work out in the long run just like theres no guarantee that it would. That is also true. I was thinking along these terms: if two people meet and stay together for 30 years, how many times do you think they're at different points in their lives? I presume it happens constantly that people change. Their basic character however stays the same. If a relationship didn't work at one point, it's higher likely that it would never work. (I think this site. specifically the "Second Chances" Forum is a good testament to that). Usually when people do find their way back together, it's because they have a romantic fantasy of *what was* and not *who* the other *person is*. They usually just have nothing going on at that time that is better and they believe that everything before the Troubles started was good. There are no guarantees in life, but you can make some pretty darn close calculated decisions. Just bouncing a few ideas around, this theory isn't written in stone just yet
MrFun Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 In this case I am not sure. He has dated many beautiful women. In the past month he was seeing this beautifil venezuelan girl and also a very good looking flight attendant and he has turned them both down to focus on whatever he feels with me. I don't know but I am no longer interested. I wonder if he wrote down all the things that were good with your relationship who yous two were back then and you wrote them down, they wouldn't match. This guy is living in the past and has unresolved conflicts that he's projecting, along the lines of "Back then everything was better, I just can't find my perfect match, even though I have all these hot chicks around me....". So he puts your old relationship on a pedestal. Why didn't he see the value in your relationship years ago?
Author howcouldInotknow Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 he says young he was young and foolish but its too late now.
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