SCooke Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I've been broken up with my ex for about a yr now. She was my first love and we went out for 3 1/2 yrs. The breakup was mostly due to my mistakes (although she never looked back and tried to give me a 2nd chance to fix things between us). Haven't seen her since April. I spent the first part of the past year in a lot of pain, doing many self destructive things. The second half has been much better. I've changed a lot of things in my life, and I'm growing up in a lot of ways. However, I'm just not over my ex. I recently ended a rebound relationship because it was just not working for me and was being unfair to this poor girl. Many times i thought I was well on my way to getting over my ex, but then I'll have moments/days that just hit me like a brick. Sometimes, I'll be at work or something and all of a sudden I just get overwhelmed with it all and i just lose it and i have to go outside to recollect myself... I'm just worried about what this means! Is it normal to have these moments after a year?? Or am I just weak or not dealing with something hidden from me?? Sometimes I get this feeling that she's the one for me and that it's true love and I can't give up on true love. but then i quickly return to reality, and i remember that it takes two people being in love for all that dreamy stuff to be true. I guess I want to hear from people who've been broken up for ads long or longer than I have.
symbol Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I think it's quite normal. After 3.5 years, it will take you some time, a longer time than you first imagined, to get over the relationship. It does get better over time but it's likely you'll always have moments like that. It's just the frequency and the intensity will wear down over time. It's been 4 years since my ex BF for 7.5 years left me. I still have bad days sometimes... Let yourself feel bad from time to time. It's only going to help you heal... Good luck!
Author SCooke Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 Thanks! i guess this being my first experience with heartbreak i wasn't sure what the road is like, or when it ends! I'm sure you're right that I won't ever completly be over her. I'll have to accept that. I'm just worried that years down the road I'll look back and say that she's the love of my life that i lost. That would suck! The worst part is that I just don't have the energy, willingness...to try again right now. I've had dates and short term flings but I just cut it short for some reason. The last one esp, she was a good girl and we had physical chemistry, but after a month or so, i just couldn't take it anymore and completly shut her off. Her only mistake was that she wasn't my ex!! That's just pathethic! ...I just don't get how people jump from one love to another! It takes so much to love!
symbol Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Why don't you just give yourself a bit more time to heal before you start dating other people? The good part about the aftermath of a breakup (especially after a long-term relationship) is that you end up learning a lot about yourself and what you want but you kind of need to spend some alone time to do that. I mean, hang out with your friends, exercise, have fun but if you don't feel ready to start dating, don't push yourself... It was my first relationship too. So I definitely understand how you feel...
Recommended Posts