jayzee Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Hey everyone, This is my first post here. Great community that we have here! So... here's a question for you people: My girlfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. Now I tried all sorts of crazy things that one could think of... calling her constantly, sending text messages, begging, pleading but nothing seemed to change her verdict. Now, I read this forum and a couple of other books on getting your ex back and have went NC for 16 days now. No contacts, no visits, no calls, nothing at all. She hasn't contacted me either. The question is: It's her birthday on November 5th. I really () want to wish her. So.... Should I break NC and just wish her the day or should I be strict and not wish her? Any advice would be appreciated. G'day!
NSW768 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 i wouldnt. very similiar situation i have to yours and called her on her bday. didnt do much but put me back. and she was happy which killed me. its a good day to make a statement. im on 17 days right now. keep it going.
Author jayzee Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 Thanks Dude! This NC is like real tough to get through! Everyday I'm expecting a phone call, an SMS or something which I never get one. But yeah, I've started to feel much better than I did in those times when I was constantly calling her and trying to contact her to convey my feelings (which, apparently, she doesn't care for). I guess I'm not going to call then.
The Collector Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 It's probably not going to make much difference one way or another. You probably killed any chance of a reconciliation with the begging and pleading. She's unlikely to get your birthday wish and think 'how sweet, maybe I was wrong.' Your best bet if you really want her back is to start dating hotter women. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want you anyway?
Angel1111 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 No! Do not even acknowledge her birthday. She needs a heavy dose of being ignored and her birthday will be the perfect venue to do that. If you contact her, you'll be doing exactly as she predicted - that you can't leave her alone and that you don't have a life. Whether that's true or not, she doesn't need to know that. She needs to miss you, so just leave her alone and let her figure it out. It usually takes people about 3 mos to come back around if it turns out that they really want to be with that person after all. If you intercede, you'll stunt that process. She left you - let her come back on her own if that's what she's going to do.
NSW768 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 yeah dont do it. i couldve made a huge statement at the time for me. it was 9 days since the breakup. i called and i was completely corgial and so was she. just have a good one. how you been. but that break of NC led me to break it again about a week later (hey that was nice last week) and so on... LS'rs told me not to and i did anyway. lame
NopeNah Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 agree.. Do nothing! Mine's(ex) birthday is coming up and I was in the process of setting up a quiet expensive party. As I'm at the club, pricing out the rental space, my friend asked me "are you sure this is what you want to do? Go down this same road again?" I ended it with her that night. She only wanted someone around to do these things with/for her. Holidays coming up, ect... She'd have left me(again) after the 1st of the year if not sooner so, I beat her to the punch. She doesn't deserve a birthday wish from you! Neither does mine nor will she get one! Now what to do with her present?
I feel so sad Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 ok 'officially' this is only end of day 1 for me at NC... aaaaahhhh.. thankfully her birthday is next march so I'll either be reconciled or with a n other H-H-H-Hottie!! for my 2 cents with my limited NC to date and reading posts on this and other forums, its a call only you can make Jayzee closer to the time, its like 10 days or more away? how far down the road may you be at that stage?..I've read people can make leaps and bounds in that timeframe mentally/emotionally. bearing in mind theres a weekend coming up which may give you more of a boost in your state of mind depending what you are doing. In saying that, with her birthday it may be weighing on her mind, considering her last 3 birthdays you were around? (and depending on the age she is hitting).. it may be something to consider in the next few days, briefly.. 'what if she gets in contact with me before the birthday, what do I do?? and I know theres 101 variables on what may or may not be said which may think its time to break NC... but. to the others, am I wrong in thinking this, is it a valid question to ask oneself?? and really I guess, on a hypothetical level, if I managed NC til nearer christmas, and depending on where I am at at that stage.. do ya wish the ex a happy xmas, new year etc.. guess it goes for any special occasion? is the cat amongst the pigeons now??
Bulldozed Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I've given thought to this myself. My b-day is 11-22, which happens to be the Keno numbers we always played when we were together. We split err"took a break" end of August...though she wanted to keep seeing me....I threw out an accusation about her interest in another guy (her best friends ex-husband), which pissed her off, saying "how could I say such a thing"....well I was dead on! I suspect I'll get some b-day wish from her....the numbers alone will elicit some response from her....her b-day is a month later, and she will get nothing from me. When her mindless little fling is over, one day she'll realize what a huge mistake it was she made not only with me but also destroying her 20 yr friendship. No Contact Dude....at all cost!
Turista Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Hey everyone, This is my first post here. Great community that we have here! So... here's a question for you people: My girlfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. Now I tried all sorts of crazy things that one could think of... calling her constantly, sending text messages, begging, pleading but nothing seemed to change her verdict. Now, I read this forum and a couple of other books on getting your ex back and have went NC for 16 days now. No contacts, no visits, no calls, nothing at all. She hasn't contacted me either. The question is: It's her birthday on November 5th. I really () want to wish her. So.... Should I break NC and just wish her the day or should I be strict and not wish her? Any advice would be appreciated. G'day! NO! Let her wonder what else has captured your attention...
adamt Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 No, don't do anything! She dumped you, she made her choice to leave your life. Sending a card or wishing her a happy birthday will not bring her back. It is her decision to leave your life. You have already tried beggingand pleading with no success. Nothing will bring her back
Author jayzee Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 (edited) Thanks all! I'm not going to wish her now. :-) Now what to do with her present? Exactly what I was thinking! Anyone? Edited October 20, 2009 by jayzee
Angel1111 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Exactly what I was thinking! Anyone? Return it and enjoy the money. Or save it and give it to a relative for a xmas gift.
Author jayzee Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 Return it and enjoy the money. Or save it and give it to a relative for a xmas gift. They won't take it back. And it's not something I can gift to a relative... it's a ring. I guess I'm just gonna keep it with me...!
MrFun Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 No. Don't reward her for behaviour you do not like. Send me the prezzie instead
Angel1111 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 They won't take it back. And it's not something I can gift to a relative... it's a ring. I guess I'm just gonna keep it with me...! Then sell it on eBay.
mark982 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 somewhere down the road,you'll find someone to give the present to. just don't tell her it was for someone else.
Angel1111 Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Now what to do with her present? This is funny - how did you know that?
Recommended Posts