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Posted

There is a girl that i've known for about a year and a half. We became good friends almost instantly once we started talking, i met her through a friend. I know this girl pretty well.

 

But, here's the thing. I'm not SUPER-CLOSE friends with her so she doesn't think of me as a brother or anything. We usually only talk or hang out once or twice a week, but when we hang out, it's always great and we can keep long interesting conversations going. A lot of flirting goes on when we are together, too. I catch her looking at me often, and she'll play with her hair a lot and send subtle signs of interest through her body language.

 

However, we've never gotten physical, it's purley just been flirting and talking for the time we've been friends. Recently in the summer, me and her had a heart to heart for 3+ hours, and i believe i fell for her that night. Ever since then i've been thinking about her more and more to the point where i almost feel in-love.

 

So here is the present-day. We are still good friends and talk / hang out every once in a little while. Our chemistry is still great when we are together. But, i'm really ready to buckle down and tell her how i truley feel about her.

 

How should i go about doing this? I'm extremely nervous, and i'm worried she only thinks of me as a friend. I'm willing to get rejected, because i NEED to know how she feels back, but i really want to make sure that when i tell her my feelings that it isn't awkward or creepy sounding.

 

Has anyone had a similar experience with a good friend? I really don't know how to go about doing this! ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks in advance

 

-JBM

Posted

If she hasnt made a move on you by now, some kind of clue that she is into you, then youve already been friend-zoned.

 

But you CANNOT tell her how you feel. The whole idea of a woman wanting to earn your attention is they want mystery. if you just wear your heart on your sleeve, you ruin that, and theres no challenge.

 

So you need to get a lil more physical with her, and at some point move in for a kiss. If she recoils, you know how she feels about you. If it gets awkward after that, then you never had a chance, and you can cut her off after that. (for your own sanity)

  • Author
Posted (edited)
If she hasnt made a move on you by now, some kind of clue that she is into you, then youve already been friend-zoned.

 

But you CANNOT tell her how you feel. The whole idea of a woman wanting to earn your attention is they want mystery. if you just wear your heart on your sleeve, you ruin that, and theres no challenge.

 

So you need to get a lil more physical with her, and at some point move in for a kiss. If she recoils, you know how she feels about you. If it gets awkward after that, then you never had a chance, and you can cut her off after that. (for your own sanity)

 

 

She has not really made a move, however she sends clues often that she's interested. My close friends often comment that they think she may like me.

 

I've heard often to NOT tell a woman your feelings directly. Maybe if i told her in a more in-direct approach? Not really coming out and telling her that i want to be with her, but really giving the strong hint, and going in for the kiss? Damn man i don't know. Thanks for your input.

Edited by JBM
Posted

I know you feel that you might be jeopardising the friendship, if she doesn't feel the same way - it might even kill the friendship. It's always a risk. But if you've been communicating (not just words), you both should know how each other feels by now (especially after 1.5 years)! Usually, there isn't much chance. But...

 

...i can't even guess how she might feel about you unless you give more examples. How far does the flirting go, touchy-feely? Tease? Does she behave any different to other guy friends? I know you both feel comfortable with each other, but were there any time that she felt 'uncomfortable' around you in a good way ;) - did she blushed?

 

The in-direct approach would be upping the stakes. Going for a kiss is too direct. :laugh:. Try doing those romantic things you normally wouldn't do, to make her 'uncomfortable' and gauge her reaction. Flirt more, i'm talking about action again e.g. wipe her mouth, move her hair out of her eyes. You get the idea.

 

If you've done talking and action, and she still doesn't react positively, then she's not interested...

Posted
If she hasnt made a move on you by now, some kind of clue that she is into you, then youve already been friend-zoned.

 

Oh, I don't agree with that at all. Speaking from experience, there have been a couple guys I've really liked for years who I never "made a move on" but that didn't mean I didn't have it bad for them and just never had the courage to do anything about it.

 

Out of curiosity, JBM, how out going is your friend? She may just be waiting for you to make a move (the looks, playing with her hair, flirting - it all sounds familiar), that's what I would do. (But then again, most people aren't as shy as I am, so that's just my opinion.)

 

I think your story's really sweet and I hope you do tell her how you feel eventually. I'm afraid I don't really have any good suggestions though. I'm kind of a hopeless romantic and I know a lot of people aren't, so suggesting flowers is probably too cliche. :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, good luck!

  • Author
Posted
Oh, I don't agree with that at all. Speaking from experience, there have been a couple guys I've really liked for years who I never "made a move on" but that didn't mean I didn't have it bad for them and just never had the courage to do anything about it.

 

Out of curiosity, JBM, how out going is your friend? She may just be waiting for you to make a move (the looks, playing with her hair, flirting - it all sounds familiar), that's what I would do. (But then again, most people aren't as shy as I am, so that's just my opinion.)

 

I think your story's really sweet and I hope you do tell her how you feel eventually. I'm afraid I don't really have any good suggestions though. I'm kind of a hopeless romantic and I know a lot of people aren't, so suggesting flowers is probably too cliche. :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, good luck!

 

 

She's outgoing socially, however she's pretty closed off with a lot of guys. She's been hurt twice, pretty badly in the past couple years so her heart is fragile. It really hurts me to think about that, but i know i could make her feel better. I think i'm going to tell her how i feel this weekend (provided i see her) and hopefully all goes well, if not, well then at least i know for sure. I'll post the results here if i get the chance to do it soon!

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