CARL45 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I don't know about you, but every time I tell a person that I am 24 and never had a girlfriend or went on a date they give me a weird look. I admit its rather embarrassing I put part of the blame on myself and another on my mother who didn't really allow me to experiment. She always had what she always had her idea for what she wanted for me,but strangely enough I never cared for the woman that she thought I should be interested in. I mean they were nice,but I didn't find them attractive.She had this smothering effect on me that has in a way destroyed my self esteem. I suppose I am ranting, but if you had a mother who was a teacher at the same High School you went to and was very strict you would rant as well. Now with me I have this feeling that I am not very attractive and that if I approach a woman she will immidatley turn me down. This has not happened,but I don't know where this has come from? I was teased when I was young, but never so much about my looks. Going back to the main question I suppose this is why I ask am I strange?
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I think you'll be able to date more freely as soon as you let the insecurity of the number (24) and the fact that you haven't dated yet go. In fact, don't tell girls that when you immediately meet them. It puts a burden on them that if it doesn't work out between you two, that you might not get over it for a LONG time. Instead of saying that you haven't dated, turn it around and say that you've spent more time studying and avoiding the party scene. That way you're telling the truth, but in a positive light instead of one that might make a girl feel like she has to be extra nice because you're not used to girls. Not having dating experience is an asset if you make a certain girl feel special, but a detriment when she feels like she's taking your dating virginity. That being said, I'd rather date someone who hasn't dated than someone who's dated everybody and there sister, know what I mean? Also, your mom working at your highschool is super cockblocky. You're your own man now! As long as you have confidence in your situation, people will believe that everything you do is on purpose.
Pedigree Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 If it makes you feel better, I'm seven eighths of the way to where you are. Everyone have their set of circumstances, I guess. For my part, I spent high school at an all boys school and was one of the "geeks" so had little to zero interaction with female interaction when I walked into uni almost 3 years ago. So I can sympathize with your problem. But then the question becomes what have you done to change your circumstance? You don't have to be a player all of a sudden, you just need to take small steps to improve yourself. What have you done on that front?
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Carl, given my penchant for sarcasm and joking on this board, I hope you don't take this the wrong way...but have you ever had therapy for the issues with your mom? I'm not trying to be rude, I'm being serious. Having unresolved emotional parent issues can REALLY screw with romantic prospects. People can smell that stuff from a mile away. If you haven't talked to anyone about it, I really would recommend you get in to see a counselor. It may be the final block to kick out of your way and get on with your dating life...so you can find that woman you deserve to be with. You've let your mom have your power for too long.
Author CARL45 Posted October 19, 2009 Author Posted October 19, 2009 Yeah I am going to therapy right now! I really have learned dealing with my mother that its best not to tell her anything about my personal life. By the way I do talk to women a lot more now than I did when I was younger.The only problem I have is I feel as though I am catching up and I hate that! I suppose that is why I asked the question. Thank you for your responses I appreciate it!
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I really have learned dealing with my mother that its best not to tell her anything about my personal life. I hear ya, man. I'm learning that lesson in my own life harshly right now and I'm 29. You're a little behind the curve, but don't let anyone beat you down. You'll catch up. I'd say the relationship with your mom stunted your growth. But it sounds to me like you have the will and desire to move past this, so that's good.
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