duskandsummer Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Its a long story. I just need to know how I can get over this. Any tips or steps. I have done it before but it just seems like the other time I got over it was because someone new came into my life..and now here I am yet again..someone new who doesn't want me yet I ache for them. I just can't keep crying, blaming myself, feeling hopeless..I don't want to feel this way. Anything that can help me move towards feeling better would be great.
WTRanger Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 First step, is to not blame yourself. There is nothing you can do to make the other person like you. Believe me, it's hard to do but you have to recognize this. Take this opportunity to learn from this situation. Learn not to build things up in your head and get hit with a giant let-down in real life. Learn not to take this so intensely and get lost in the vaccum that this leaves behind when it disappears. Things happen. It is what it is, and if its not this then it will always be something else. Realize what is going on, deal with it, learn from it, and move on. But above all, do not dwell. Remember these words of advice that I have to constantly re-read myself, I am not the original author but they ring true to this situation. When things get low, do all that you can to come back to your center, and remember that you are a luminous and empowered being. You have the power and choice to bring the light into any situation that may appear dark. No matter how unfair a situation may present itself, remaining in self-pity, blame and resentment will only hurt you, and draws you deeper into that darkness. In fact, you only have two choices - to remain in darkness or to bring in the light. You have the choice to prolong the suffering, or to end it and move on. Regardless of what is happening, the ups and downs of life will continue to prevail. And resisting to the down times will only delay the coming of the up times. Next time you hit a down time, remember that it is only temporary, focus on what can be learned, trust that it is the best thing that could happen to you right now, and know with certainty that the up time is just around the corner.
DustySaltus Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I agree with everything above. Let me just add that it is important to realize that just "jumping" into a relationship with someone else is NEVER the way to go. You need to process what happened first so you learn from the situation and be a better person for the next partner that comes along. Also, if you jump into things too quickly you are not being fair to the new person. Jumping into a relationship with someone right away after a tough breakup probably cost me the woman I am supposed to be with. I had just gotten out of a five year relationship and went out with a new girl within 3 months. I kept telling her I wasn't ready but she just did everything she could to make me get over the EX. Eventually, a year later I was still saying the same thing and she gave me an ultimatum. We never spoke since. Now, after all i've been through since then I think she was the one that I was really supposed to be with. If you don't take your time, you will waste A LOT more time with someone that is not right for you down the line. Hold your head high, there's a lot more to come for you.
Soul Bear Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 probably cost me the woman I am supposed to be with. Dusty, you and I both know that if it didn't work out, then it was never meant to be. You have really come pretty far since you first started posting here, keep on the good path, you're so close.....
DustySaltus Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 probably cost me the woman I am supposed to be with. Dusty, you and I both know that if it didn't work out, then it was never meant to be. You have really come pretty far since you first started posting here, keep on the good path, you're so close..... Hey thanks soulbear.
Author duskandsummer Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 thank you guys, and I understand what you guys are saying. I have no intention of dating or going out with guys right now. I know I have a lot of things to fix about myself and I am way to vulnerable. The thing is I can't help but blame myself in this situation because I never told this guy how I felt. Once I realized it, it was to late to say anything and the more I waited and hesitated the later it got. After my first huge heartbreak, I have been so scared of rejection which is part of the reason I didn't tell him. I told myself I rather wonder what if, I rather regret then have to feel an ounce of his rejection. I just feel so stupid for caring so much about someone who doesn't even care if I am alive.
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