slownumbers81 Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I was hanging out with this girl for a few months. I couldn't figure out if I liked her romantically or just as a friend. Although I felt very comfortable around her, the thought of kissing her didn't seem super exciting. Sometimes I felt attracted to her, other times I didn't. Finally, after she expressed romantic interest in me, I told her I just wanted to be friends since I felt so unsure about it. Now we don't talk as much and I miss her and think about her often. Is this a common thing that happens and maybe I just miss her as a friend, or did I like her and make a wrong decision after all? I think I'd be jealous if she started dating someone, though I'm still not sure if I had or have feelings for her. Unfortunately I have this weird pattern of falling hard for unavailable women, I never "fell hard" for her but just felt comfortable around her.
D-D Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I think it is obvious you like her. Why not talk to her and tell her that you made a mistake, and you want to give her a chance. Go on a few dates and see how you feel. You don't have to marry her. If your not feeling it, just let her know that you want to be friends. Sometimes we pass up people that could make really great romantic partners. Why not give her a chance?
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Eh. I have to disagree. Kind of sounds to me like you just want what you can't have. IMO, if you "give her a shot," you'll be doing it just to see if she WILL give you a shot and once she does - you'll bore of her again.
Awesome Username Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Eh. I have to disagree. Kind of sounds to me like you just want what you can't have. IMO, if you "give her a shot," you'll be doing it just to see if she WILL give you a shot and once she does - you'll bore of her again. I agree. You have "can't have it now" syndrome. It's an instinct men have retained from the caveman days of having to club other dudes over the head to keep your harem secure. If she was single, you'd feel friendzony again.
TheLoneSock Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 You didn't like her romantically. You miss her friendship, her company. That's completely normal. But no, you weren't into her. If you weren't thinking about screwing her on a daily basis, you didn't like her. There's nothing wrong with friendship, it's good to have female friends. That's the part you miss though, those aren't romantic feelings.
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Nah, you don't like her. Let her go.
SoulSearch_CO Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 If you weren't thinking about screwing her on a daily basis, you didn't like her. HAHAHAHA...I love how much differently men think than women. That never would have crossed my mind as the "bar" for whether or not I liked somebody romantically. God, that's funny. (I'm not even being sarcastic. I truly do adore the differences between the male and female brain - it's fascinating.)
TheLoneSock Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 HAHAHAHA...I love how much differently men think than women. That never would have crossed my mind as the "bar" for whether or not I liked somebody romantically. God, that's funny. (I'm not even being sarcastic. I truly do adore the differences between the male and female brain - it's fascinating.) I just figured a blunt answer would suffice.
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